Won't You Open Up Your Eyes?
by clue4211
Summary: And I fell asleep. But no one said anything to me. So I never knew. That you were lost, wandering this world without a chance of getting through."
1. Chapter 1

_Kay, so I honestly don't know how this one's going to turn out, as far as being really junky and cheesy and what-not. I have most of the middle and the end written already, but I need to do a bit more of the begining, like the next two or three chapters. Also, I have a bunch of extra plot lines that I'm still trying to decide what to do with, mostly stuff that takes place after the main story is over, but doesn't really tie up nicely as an actual ending. Alright, well I'm done talking to myself, enjoy, or not. :)_

_I don't own digimon, blah blah blah_

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_"And I fell asleep.  
But no one said anything to me.  
So I never knew.  
That you were lost, wondering this world without a chance of getting through."_

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**Chapter One**

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"Kari?"

The brunette froze at the familiar voice, her head turning automatically towards him. "TK…" she spoke his name faintly, he was taller, his blonde hair longer, but the same friendly smile pulled at his lips.

"Are you in a hurry? I mean, the rest of the team is at the pizza place down the street, I'd love to catch up, if you-" He still stumbled over his words when he got too excited.

"Yeah, I guess so, I'm not going anywhere." TK smiled at her again and ran a hand through his hair. He still did that too.

"Excuse me," the lady behind the counter began irritably "are you going to-" TK stepped forward and cut her off apologetically.

"I'm sorry. Here, Kari, I'll get it," he added quickly as she reached into her pocket for money. "And, sorry, could you give her the next size up of whatever she ordered? Seriously, Kari, you've never eaten enough- Yeah, and the drink too." Kari felt heat rush to her face as the woman gave her an agitated look.

"She didn't order-"

"Could you add one then? I'm sorry," he apologized again, partially to the growing line of people behind them, the woman behind the counter gave Kari a piercing glare, and she shrank back, hiding behind TK's shoulder.

"Here you go," he handed her a plastic cup "Actually, could you get me a Dr. Pepper?"

"Yeah," she took a second cup from him, "You didn't have to-" he spoke over her completely, as though he hadn't heard anything.

"My stuff's over by the window." TK picked up a tray that held the largest bowl of cheese and broccoli soup she had ever seen and started towards a table.

Kari shook her head and filled the two cups with soda, he was just as ridiculous as ever.

"So…" he began as she sat down.

"So?" she set their drinks down and felt a smile form on her lips as he laughed. It must have been two weeks since she had last smiled.

"So what's going on?" The longer they talked the easier it became, like relearning the steps to a dance, the rules to a game. It was just like before, joking and laughing, talking about everything, like he had never left. There were a few awkward moments of course, "How's your family doing?" or a teasing "Really, Kari, don't they feed you at home?" but she shook them off with a vague "Well Tai's off at college, so it's sort of quiet I guess…" or a shallow laugh and roll of her eyes.

"Listen, practice starts at 4:30, so…" TK spoke eventually, and a strange darkness pulled at her heart; he was leaving again.

"Oh, okay," she said quietly, glancing out the window.

"Could I find you at lunch or something tomorrow? I just moved back this summer, but I'm in the same school district as before. What do you have fifth period?"

"Um, sure, I guess…"

"You don't have to, Kari." TK eyed her, she could see him trying to measure her reaction. "If you wanted to sit with your friends, that's alright."

"No- no, I was just trying to remember, I have history then, room 106."

"I've got Spanish down the hall from there," he smiled the cheerful, TK smile again. "See you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah, right, it was good seeing you."

"Yeah… Kari?" he added

"Hm?"

"I missed you." He smiled and Kari found her eyes suddenly studying the floor, heat rushing up the back of her neck.

"I missed you too."

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_Yeah, feel free leave reviews, they help me get writing, hopefully I'll be able to get more up by next week. I've been home sick yesterday and today, and I've got a big presentation for school next tuesday. That plus Christmas leaves me pretty confused, but here's hoping things work out. Love._


	2. Chapter 2

_Hello Christmas Break! So hopefully things will work out and I'll be able to post a couple of chapters over the break, maybe even another one before Christmas. Enjoy. :D Oh, and to the person who asked: TK and Kari are in Senior year, and they're both seventeen._

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**Chapter 2**

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"Hey there." TK's head appeared from behind the door to Kari's locker; he leaned against the wall, resting a hand on the top edge of the door. "You got your lunch?"

"I, um… forgot it," Kari lied, dumping the rest of her things into her locker. For a second she thought he looked worried, but his smile covered up any hint that he was suspicious.

"Right, well I guess I'll have to get you something then." Still smiling, he closed her locker and took her wrist into his hand, leading her towards the lunch room.

"TK, I can't let you buy-" but he only rolled his eyes.

"Sure you can, besides, you'll owe me," he smirked, but Kari only felt confused, no longer able to tell when he was joking. "Relax, Kari." He tugged on her wrist and laughed when heat burned at her face.

She made a face as he laughed, "I can't keep up with you anymore."

"Sure you can," his hand fell away to hold the door open for her. "You just need practice." There was that grin again, and a gentle hand on her shoulder that guided her to the cafeteria. He laid a tray in front of her and nudged her shoulder gently to make her slide down the aisle. She bit her lip as the touch sent an ache through her arm and tugged her sleeves further down over her wrists automatically. "And if you don't pick anything," his voice shook her, and she blinked, sliding further down the line. "I'll just have to get a bunch of stuff and hope you like something."

Kari picked up a burger hesitantly and watched as TK piled food onto his tray. She laughed as he grabbed a second large fry. "Basketball season hasn't even started yet, you know."

"I'm sorry, are you trying to say something?" he raised an eyebrow expectantly.

"No," she said innocently. "Just wondering if you were going to leave any for the people behind us. Or if you're planning on sending some of that to the homeless shelter downtown, it could last them a while."

"Ouch, Kari," he grinned. "But for your information, our preseason, student-led practices can be brutal. And some of us could stand with another burger or two." He grabbed a slice of chocolate cake and placed it on her tray, giving an innocent expression that dared her to argue. She stuck out her tongue and he laughed, pulling a wallet from his back pocket and grabbing her tray. "Get us a seat?"

Kari nodded and sat at one of the unused tables near the back. _How long would this last? _She wondered, tracing the lines of the wood absentmindedly as she waited. _Would he still be interested in talking to her tomorrow?_ It was nice to have someone talk to her. **Actually** talk to her, more than politely asking for the homework, or yell- _No._ She shook her head; she had promised herself that she wouldn't think about that.

"Here you go." TK placed her tray in front of her.

"I didn't get these." She held up two bags of chips and eyed a chocolate milkshake that now sat next to her fries.

"Like I said, Kari." He reached across the table and poked a straw through the lid of her milkshake. "Some of us could stand to eat a few more burgers." She shook her head and rolled her eyes, but smiled and quietly took a sip of the milkshake. The blonde boy gave a small nod and started in on his pile of food as though he hadn't eaten in days. "So who do you hang out with now?" he asked, struggling to unwrap his fork. She reached over and ripped the plastic open for him, laughing at the frustration on his face.

"Um, no one really," she admitted, dipping a french fry in her ketchup uncomfortably.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right, Kari. Who do you usually sit with?"

"I- I don't. Um, I usually just sit at one of the extra tables and study, actually." She tried to pass it off as nothing, giving a weak smile and studying the corner of her tray intently.

TK was silent for a moment; Kari could feel his eyes on her, could imagine the worry behind them. "You eat alone? Everyday?" It was the concern in his voice that had always gotten to her, the way he spoke like **he** had done this to her.

"It's not a big deal, TK," she mumbled, taking another sip of her milkshake to avoid looking at him. "I'm quiet; you know that." The second their eyes met she wished that she had continued to stare at her french fries; the look in his eyes made her want to cry. Last night hadn't helped, her arms were sore and- _No._ she repeated internally, but she only wanted to cry again. _Goodness, Kari, you're more of a mess then usual._ She scolded herself and blinked frantically, turning her face towards the floor.

"You had plenty of friends in Middle School."

"This is High School, TK. I mean, everyone got transferred, or moved… and I just never really connected with anyone else."

"Davis and Ken are in our grade."

"Things…" she searched for the right words, "sort of fell apart after you moved. I mean, we don't hate each other or anything; we just haven't talked. It's not your fault," she added the last sentence quickly, remembering the look he had given her before. He remained silent for a minute, she could feel his eyes on her again, but she stared determinedly at his lunch, laying long since forgotten on his tray.

"Something else happened." It wasn't a question.

"I- I'm fine, TK," she stammered, but her eyes burned with tears and she swallowed a lump in her throat.

"Kari, if you don't want to talk about it, fine." She caught his eyes, burning darkly at her. How did his blue eyes **burn** like that? "But **don't** lie."

Tears sprung to Kari's eyes faster than she could fight them back. "I'm fine," she repeated, barely audible.

"No. You're not!" TK snapped at her impatiently. "I'm not an idiot, Kari. I know you're lying!" Kari flinched and pain ran through her shoulders. Tears stung her eyes and she pushed them away with the back of her hand frustratedly. His voice only raised at this, "If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine, but **don't **tell me you're okay, Kari!"

Kari took a deep, shaky breath, "I'm sorry." She shook her head frantically, "I'm sorry. She stood and let her feet begin to carry her. _You knew __**he**__ was right. _Those thoughts she had been holding at bay hit her now: words that rung in her ears as she walked away. She thought TK's hand might have brushed against her wrist, thought he might have tried to say something to her, but she couldn't feel anything, hear anything, save those words echoing through her mind and those aching muscles as they were wracked with tears. _Worthless. That's why he yelled at you. Because he knows it too. They both do. That's why no one talks to you. Because they know it too. They __**all**__ do._

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Kay, so this was actually supposed to be combined with the next part, but I might be able to get that up even later today. -love and a merry christmas


	3. Chapter 3

_Two chapters in one day?!?! Wow. But this was really supposed to be attached to the last one, so it's kind of cheating. Anyway, hopefully that makes up for the fact that I haven't updated my other story in pretty much forever. Well, it probably doesn't, but still. Kay, enjoy chapter... 2.5 haha._

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**Chapter 3**

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There was a sick feeling in the pit of TK's stomach. How did he always manage to turn everything important to him into a fight? Twist his concern to worry, worry to fear, fear to anger? He hated the look he saw on her face, hated watching her cry. Why was it always **her**? _Because she's important, _he thought. It made sense; she was more important than most anything in his life right now. And the more important something was, the harder it would be to hold himself together. At least so long as that something was a someone, and that someone was his best friend. And she had managed to seclude herself from everyone while he was gone. It was probably these kids. Shallow, idiotic jerks who wouldn't know a good thing if it-

"Dude- What'd the paper ever do to you?" TK glanced down; there was a hole in his paper where he had been erasing for the past two minutes. _Great._ He dropped his pencil irritably and shook his head. "This doesn't have to do with the reason you disappeared during lunch today, does it?" Davis asked, checking his answer against Ken's, whose paper was significantly neater and more finished than either Davis' or TK's. "Is it a **girl**?" he teased.

"It's not like that," TK mumbled. "And I just about screamed at her today, so it wouldn't much matter if it was."

"Dang, TK. Just text her so you and mystery girl can make up already, you're freaking pitiful."

TK rolled his eyes but Ken cut in, "He's actually right, TK. If you're this upset over her-"

"I'm not upset." TK saw the looks on his friends faces and corrected himself, "Okay, I am, but I don't think she really wants to talk to me."

"Yeah, well **I **don't think we'll be able to put up with you like this. Call her." Davis spoke over the bell as Ken stood, his homework already finished. "And soon," he added. "We've got practice tonight."

TK pulled his phone out of his back pocket and stared at it. He had gotten her cell phone number from her the day before. He selected her name and typed a message reluctantly, hitting send before he could change his mind.

**Hey I'm worried about you. Call me around 5? Bball practice.**

He hurried down to the locker room after school and changed, his phone beeped as he was pulling his sneakers on. He checked it, running a hand through his hair nervously. There was a snort from his right: Davis. "She can't see your hair TK." Heat crept up his neck, but he ignored the comment. 'One New Message'.

**Sure.**

TK took a deep breath, "Sure" wasn't fantastic, but it was something. At least enough to let himself relax during practice. He stuffed the phone back in his gym bag before leaving to join the rest of the team.

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TK grabbed the phone on the first ring, "Hello?" he spoke quickly, anxiously brushing the hair out of his eyes.

"TK?" her voice was soft and clear; TK felt a smile appearing automatically on his face. He walked to his room and closed the door, making sure that he was well out of earshot of his mother.

"Kari," he breathed, closing his eyes in relief. "Thank goodness, are you okay? I'm so sorry about today, I mean I never meant to-"

"You're sorry?" she asked quietly, catching him off guard.

"Yeah, Kari. 'Course I am, I- I was acting like an idiot today." There was a pause, and for a second he thought she had hung up.

"My dad died." Her voice shook slightly, "A couple of weeks after you left."

"Kari, I'm…" but TK wasn't sure what he was. "I'm sorry I wasn't there- for you. I- I should've been." She was quiet for well over a minute this time but he heard her take an odd sort of gulping breath. She was crying again. And he hated it again. "Kari?" he whispered gently.

"Yes?" her voice was even softer than before, barely audible.

"I'm here now. And I promise I'll be here. And I don't now if there's other stuff I missed, but I'm here for that too, if you need me to be."

"There is," she spoke again, her voice slightly stronger this time.

"You can call me whenever, Kari. Just like before. And I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked tentatively.

"Mhm… TK, I don't want you to, to blame yourself for all of this, okay?" Something about the way she said it made him nervous, she wasn't just talking about what had happened that day. "I had kind of a bad day yesterday, and I was already a little upset."

"Okay. I'm still sorry," he added.

"I know. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." He liked being able to say goodnight to her again; he wanted to say more. "Sweet dreams," he whispered. There was a soft click as she hung up, and TK ran his fingers over the frame of the photo he had been staring at for the past two days. He and Kari, smiling at the camera, his arms wrapped across her shoulders. Something pulled deep in him, something that made him want to hold her against him like that again, something that made him want to hold her there and not let go, keeping her away from whatever else had happened since he left. Whatever it was, it made him feel terrible about that, how could he have left her? Just have abandoned her like she wasn't worth anything to him? "What have I done to you, Kari?"

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_Yep, there you go. TWO(ish) chapters. Reviews are always great. Merry Christmas! -love_


	4. Chapter 4

_Haha! I actually did it! I got another chapter up before break ended, Happy New Year's! I actually did a lot of writing this week, so that's cool. I don't think I have anything else to say... so go ahead and read! (oh, and review! haha) :)_

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**Chapter 4**

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Kari was afraid to get her hopes up too high. _What if he doesn't show up? What if you only imagined that he said those things last night? What if it was just a dream? _She stuffed her things into her locker quickly and started for the cafeteria, at least she wouldn't be caught standing there waiting for him like an idiot.

"What's the hurry, Kari?" Familiar fingers wrapped around her wrist, just as they had done the day before. Kari's tense shoulders relaxed at his voice, being with him was like stealing minutes from someone else's life, catching glimpses of normality, of happiness, from behind a thick, dark curtain where she was.

"I wasn't sure…" her voice trailed off.

"You didn't think I'd show?" TK stepped in front of her so she could see his face.

"I…" Kari looked away, embarrassed.

"Well, I'm here." His hand squeezed her wrist gently and, falling back to her side, he began to lead her forward again. "And I'll still be here Monday, if you're wondering."

"What if I do something really stupid and rude today?" She smiled as she teased him.

"Well, I did something really stupid and rude yesterday, so I figure we'd be even." Kari didn't like how serious he sounded. He didn't think she was still upset? Besides, she had most likely deserved what he'd said; she **had** been lying to him. Was **still **lying to him, or at least not telling him everything…

"TK,"

"Yeah, I know." His lips twitched. "But I'll be there, Kari. So long as you want me to be." He paused for a second as they stepped into the cafeteria line. "By the way, please tell me that you're not anorexic or anything, and that you genuinely forgot your lunch again."

Kari rolled her eyes and gave a soft laugh, "I don't have an eating disorder, TK. Maybe I just like making you pay for me," she teased, but she could tell he noticed that she hadn't said she'd actually forgotten."

"Fine, but I'm warning you, my mom thinks I eat out too much, so it'll be paper bags for us next week." TK reached over and added more food to her tray as he talked, his eyes flickering towards her anxiously. "So, anyway, I was wondering," he began.

"Hmm?" She looked up at him curiously.

"Well, it's Friday, and some of my other friends and I were going to go out for pizza after practice today." TK paid for their food as he spoke and paused a few feet from the end of the line. "And I wanted to know if you'd like to come." She could feel his eyes on her, carefully measuring her reaction.

"I don't really think that they'd want me there, TK."

"'Course they would! Why wouldn't they want you there, Kari?"

"I… Would it just be guys?" she asked, avoiding the question.

"No, I mean, most of the girls would be there **with** someone. If that's to weird, or awkward… But they'd get that we're," he stumbled slightly and Kari laughed.

"Friends?" she giggled. " So long as you don't have some crazy girlfriend that you've been ditching for the past two days."

TK grinned, "I'll take that as a yes." His hand wrapped around her wrist again. "Come on then; I'll introduce you." He pulled her forward, towards a table.

"That wasn't part of-"

"You have to meet them, Kari," he explained impatiently. Kari sighed as he led her to a closely packed table. She recognized several of the faces, basketball players and much more popular girls than she had ever spoken to. TK let go of her wrist and pulled out a chair, gesturing to it dramatically. She rolled her eyes as he sat beside her; she felt his hand on her arm, encouraging her as the others at the table began to glance over at them.

"**She's** the girl?!" Kari looked up, confused, trying to place the familiar voice. "The one you were freaking out over yesterday?"

"Kari, I think you know Davis?" TK smirked as Kari spotted the brunette boy a few chairs down the table.

"And you don't even **mention** it to Ken and me?" Davis glared at TK.

"Hey, you can't blame me for wanting to keep her to myself for a couple of days, can you?" TK grinned; his hand slid to her wrist and he shot Davis a look that appeared almost smug for a second. She shook it off, _Yeah, right, Kari. He would be proud of that because-?_

A new voice spoke now, a blonde girl wearing what looked like a designer jacket ("Lindsey," TK spoke in Kari's ear, "Alex's, that's the dark haired kid, girlfriend."), "How do you even know her?" she asked coldly. The other girls were studying her now, eyes peering form behind layers of expensive clothing, fresh manicures, and professional make up. Kari shrunk back, trying to hide herself behind TK's shoulder. The blonde boy didn't seem to notice, however, shifting his weight away from her slightly as he picked up his burger. Kari felt a sudden panic rising in her, pulse quickening as they continued to analyze her.

"Old friend." Ken's steady voice was easily recognizable, and his usual composed manner calmed her slightly. "Hello, Hikari."

"Hey," she replied weakly, and TK's looked down at her quickly, concern flooding his blue eyes.

"Back off guys, she's going to stop breathing soon." TK's hand moved, rubbing her arm soothingly as the others, save Ken and Davis, returned to their conversations. "Eat, Kari, it's lunch," he whispered; his right hand moved to her opposite shoulder while his left pushed her sandwich towards her gently.

"I'm, I'm not really hungry," she mumbled.

"C'mon, Kari, please?" His hand pulled her close, and he leaned down so that he spoke directly in her ear. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I… I'm just a little nervous I guess; it's messing with my appetite."

"Please eat, Kari. I worry about you enough already."

"You- you shouldn't be worrying about me." Guilt flooded her suddenly; she wasn't worth that! She wasn't worth any of this.

"Too late, Kari. Please, just eat?" Kari obeyed tentatively, and TK relaxed slightly, though his hand remained on her, gently massaging her shoulder.

"So are you going to tell us how you found her?" Davis broke across, irritated.

Kari let TK talk most of the time, eating whenever he looked down at her; which was a lot, although she felt full after just her sandwich and chips. His free hand continued to rub her arms as he talked, she wasn't sure he even noticed. She bit her tongue whenever he pressed too hard, trying to keep herself from showing any pain; she had a feeling it would be much harder to hide from this many people. It was nice to be there though, and she could feel herself opening up, speaking more often as the period went on. It made sense, Ken and Davis **had** been her friends after all. _Be careful, _a voice whispered in her head, but TK's hand pushed the thought away, taking her wrist once again until she stood by her open locker, backpack over on shoulder. "See you this afternoon." He handed her an extra bag of chips ("And you better eat them, Kari," he warned.) before disappearing around the corner, out of sight.

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_So I actually switched up a lot of the dialogue at the last second, hopefully that worked out okay. I have about 1/2 to 2/3 of the next chapter done, but I have to write the end of it yet. And I also just wrote chapter 6 today, yep, i'm all out of order, it's very confusing trying to find different parts of this thing in my notebook, especially when I have more than one draft, and the pages keep falling out! That's what you get when you're using a 10 cent WalMart notebook I guess. And chapter 6 wasn't even in my original plan, I feel very ADD when I write, hm... Hopefully I don't get confused and post the 6th and then the 8th and then the 5th or something. That'd make for a really weird story. Okay, maybe it's more like a sugar high thing, because I'm just rambling now. Kay, I'm stopping. Really. -love_


	5. Chapter 5

Haha, so I'm glad that some of you enjoy my rants. Also, I'm not completely absolutely happy with this chapter, but that might just be because I'm sick. And I've got midterms next week, so I just want to get something up. Enjoy and review :)

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**Chapter 5**

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"Stop playing with your hair, pretty girl." TK caught her hands, which were adjusting the bobby pins in her hair for the eighth time. He smiled as her face turned a light pink, and he slid the pins back into her hair as they continued walk down the sidewalk from his car. "You look really nice tonight," he added, wondering briefly if she had walked home alone to change. It seemed strange for her to dress any differently; it was only pizza, after all. _Did those girls say something to her? _He had imagined that Lindsey and her friends wouldn't connect with Kari, and since Yolei had graduated the year before he had worried that she would be lonely. But even Kari thought that he worried too much, and she did look nice, wearing a zip-up purple sweatshirt that fit snugly around her tiny waist, a silver necklace hanging just above her lacy white tank top. His fingers slid through her hair before closing them around her wrist. "D'you still like it when I call you that?" He ran through memories, he used to call her things like 'pretty girl' all the time, before… He refused to let himself think of leaving her; it was bad enough that it had happened, how **had** it happened? Things had just fallen apart... He had written to her of course, but her replies had come fewer and farther between; should he have called more? Eventually everything had stopped, and he had assumed that she was busy with new friends, and he had eased off, fearing that he would only come off as annoying. But she had no friends, did she?

TK shook the thoughts off, hadn't he decided not to think about that now? He glanced over at her and grinned; her face had turned from pink to a brilliant red. He was about to pull her into his arms when Davis bounded up behind them loudly.

"My turn, TK," Davis said, quickly snatching her hand into his.

"Excuse me?" TK asked, spinning around. "**I **invited her."

"You also hid her from us for two days, so you** could** invite her. It's my turn."

Kari mumbled something about not being a new basketball. TK shot a glare at Davis, who quickly tried to take back the statement. "I- I meant to say… Kari," he paused and TK watched, his eyebrows raised, as the spiky haired boy lowered himself to one knee. "Would you sit with me instead of the big-headed blonde who kept you a secret from everyone?"

TK rolled his eyes, but couldn't hold back his smile when he saw Kari, struggling not to laugh. "TK…" Did she really think he could say 'no'? That he could actually make her do anything?

"Fine, but I'm stealing you back in twenty minutes. Time me," he added for Davis' sake.

"Fine." Davis took Kari's hand and started towards the pizza parlor determinedly.

TK grinned as Kari turned her head back a few steps in front of him, "Twenty minutes?" she mouthed worriedly.

"Twenty minutes, pretty girl!" he shouted, laughing to himself as her face turned red for the second time that night. _Beautiful girl._ He thought briefly, but he shook his head, smiling as he imagined what shade her face would turn if he called her **that**.

* * *

"Hasn't it been twenty minutes yet?" TK asked yet again, stealing another worried glance over at Kari. Davis was nowhere in sight, _Must've gone to the bathroom. Who's talking to her, then?_ He was always worrying about her, he realized. Especially now, with Davis' table well out of earshot. _What had he said to her? Is she eating?_ Another thought crossed his mind, one of the many that had been gnawing at him for several days. _Why was she so small? _Kari had always been thin, but it was different now, she looked as though she was barely there, like a strong wind could easily blow her away. She hid it well, beneath loosely fitted long sleeved shirts, but he could still see it, feel how easy it was too pull her along, his fingers overlapping around her tiny wrist.

"No dude." His friend's voice brought him from his crowded mind. "If you ask me one more- Aw darn…"

"What?" TK asked, furrowing his brow.

"I think my watch stopped."

TK gave an annoyed breath and grabbed someone's cell phone off the table. It read 7:15. TK jumped up and strode towards Kari's table, not bothering with the other guys at the table. Davis had gotten more than twice the time that they had agreed on.

_She's gone._ The thought echoed through his mind as terror tore through him. _Where-?_ He spotted her then, headed towards the front of the restaurant. _What on earth does she think she's doing? Scaring me half to death and…_ It never occurred to him that she wouldn't think to check with him before she left. _Doesn't she know how upset I'd be if-_

TK took long strides, crossing the room quickly. "Kari," he called her name, but she ignored him, hurrying out the door. He caught the handle and pushed, hard. A gust of cold air hit him as he stepped outside. "Kari," he repeated, changing to a jog to catch up with her. "C'mon, Kari, I haven't gotten my twenty minutes yet," TK tried teasingly, capturing her wrist in his hand.

"It's been more than twenty minutes, TK," she spoke quietly, turning to face him. Kari's eyes were red, tears streamed down her face, and she was shaking violently, as much from pain as the cold.

Shock ran through his body, grief and guilt quickly following suit. "I know, I'm sorry, the clock I was using…" His voice drifted off as he stared at her eyes, endlessly deep, and entirely flooded with hurt. "I-Is that why-?" he started, but she shook her head 'no', squeezing her eyes shut. "What's wrong?" he whispered; he began to pull her into his chest, but she pushed him back, away from her. It was the first time she had resisted anything he had done, and the rejection stung through him. He tightened his hand on her wrist as he felt a sudden stab of fear. He **couldn't **lose her, he realized. He had only just gotten her back.

Kari glanced back over her shoulder as she answered, "It's doesn't matter, I should go anyway, and you should get back to your friends."

"No." The strength of his voice surprised them both, ringing out clear and steady. "No, Kari. You're my friend too. And you need this; **I** need this. I need to be able to help you. You know you don't have to talk about what happened while I was gone, but I was here this time, and I need to know what's going on." TK fought to keep eye contact, but she kept looking away, studying the ground, her hands, his shoes.

"It's too cold out here," she mumbled.

"Then we'll go back inside." TK spoke firmly, but her eyes widened fearfully at this suggestion.

"No," she coked through fresh tears. "No- we can't go back in there."

"Sh, sh, it's okay." TK bent his knees slightly so he could catch her eyes again. "My car?" he asked, rubbing his thumb over her wrist gently. Kari's brown eyes searched his for a minute before she gave a barely perceptible nod. TK led her to his clean lined black car, his Christmas gift from the previous year, and opened the passenger side door, placing his hand lightly on her shoulder as she slid in.

TK walked to the other side of the car and took a deep breath before easing into the driver's seat. He slipped the key into the ignition and started the car, adjusting the heat before turning to her. "Kari," he began quietly, but she cut him off quickly, tears catching in her throat.

"I know what you're going to ask, TK, and- and I don't want to talk about it." Her eyes were focused intently on her hands, nearly ignoring his presence.

"It was me, wasn't it?" Guilt flooded his veins, mingling with a thousand other emotions coursing through his body. Anger, hurt, fear, another he couldn't place, the one that seemed to encompass the pain of all the others, yet didn't seem specifically connected to one in particular, or to himself at all. But it pounded in his head relentlessly, creating a desperate desire to hold her tiny form against his chest. He forced it back enough to think, running over everything he had said to her, what had he done? "Kari, I'm sorry. Whatever I did, I'm sorry," he pleaded, and her eyes shot up to meet his, confused.

"What? TK, you didn't do anything, it's not you."

Pain stung through him again, "You don't have to lie, Kari."

"TK!" Her voice raised in volume and pitch slightly. "It's not you, okay?" He eyed her carefully. _Who else could have hurt her?_

"Did Davis-?"

"No, TK." Tears caught in her throat again and TK laid his hand on hers. The emotion that pounded in his head expanded now, and he recognized it from the times he had listened to her cry. It was worse now, much worse, watching her, mere inches away, totally helpless as her small shoulders shook. He swallowed, not completely wanting to know the answer to his next question.

"Who, then, Kari?"

"I don't need you to yell at them, TK." He hadn't noticed the anger until she said it aloud, but it was there, building the longer he watched her, sinking deeper and deeper, a rage that anyone would make her feel this way.

"Just tell me, Kari?" he asked quietly, reigning in the anger, hiding it from his voice. "Please?"

"I-I don't know all their names, Lindsey's friends I guess. I-I mean, it was really stupid stuff anyway, shallow," she stammered, tears interfering constantly with her explanation. "It just- I mean, I know I'm not… But it just hit a little to close to home…"

"What did the say to you, Kari?" The anger increased suddenly, making his words shake as he tried to hold it back.

"It doesn't even matter." She turned her face away from his, staring out the window. "I can't even remember everything."

"Hikari." The use of her full name seemed to catch her attention. "I need to know, okay? I have to. Because if I don't, I can't tell you that every word of it was a lie. If I don't, I have to sit here and guess what they could've said to you. And- and I can't do that, because I won't just sit here while you feel like this. I can't just sit here and watch them hurt you." Kari's eyes returned to her hands as he spoke.

"They, they said a lot of things, mostly just a bunch of shallow, backhanded compliments. I guess… I mean, they said that you- you do this every other week." TK's fore head wrinkled in confusion. "That you guild trip yourself into this kind of thing all the time."

The rage that he had stored away broke through now, harsher than before. "You think I'm only hanging out with you because I feel **guilty**?" His voice rose dramatically. "You think this is all some stupid game that I play to make me feel better about myself? You think that I would do that?"

"I didn't say that!" TK watched as tears flooded her eyes again, felt the absence of her hands as she pulled them away. He had yelled at her again; those tears were his fault. "You asked me what they said, and that's what they told me. I don't know why you're doing this; I don't know if what they said was true. I- I mean, I hope it's not, but if it is, I understand-" Her shoulders were shaking again; tears poured down her face.

"I'm sorry- I didn't mean, I'm so sorry." TK reached out and touched the side of her face gently. Her skin was soft and cool beneath his fingers, which ached to wipe away her tears, push away the hurt in her eyes. "I'm really terrible at this, aren't I?" he breathed, giving into the ache and brushing his fingertips along her eyelashes. They tickled his skin and a new ache flooded in to replace the one in his fingers, his whole hand ached now, longing to touch her. The need hit him hard, shocking him. His hand begged to caress her face, fingers longed to feel the softness of her lips and her neck; he could imagine the feel of her skin beneath his… He blinked and the desire was gone, leaving only a shaky confusion in its stead.

"Not that terrible." Kari's quiet voice calmed him, made him forget the confusion, and he watched a small smile forming on her lips. "You just need some more practice."

"I wish I wasn't going to get that practice," he confessed, and Kari nodded, her wide chocolate eyes staring straight back into his now. "Nothing they said was true, you know. I'm doing this because you're my best friend, and I care about you. And that won't change, no matter what some idiot girls try and tell you."

"It's not really their fault, I mean they're just jealous because you've been acting like I'm so special, worrying so much. Some of those girls probably haven't eaten in two weeks trying to get your attention, and here you are practically shoving pizza down my throat."

"You **are** special Kari," he paused, and she averted her eyes for a second. "And I can't believe you're trying to defend them!" TK shook his head, "I've seen them tear apart other girls, Kari, the things they must've said to you," but Kari shrugged at him.

I don't like hating people, TK," she half whispered. "The world's got enough of that already; I should know." TK studied her deep eyes carefully. _What's that supposed to mean? _He thought.

"Not hating someone isn't the same thing as defending what they did," he sighed, "and it's wrong, what they did to you. And no matter what you say, that won't change. They lied to you. And they hurt you. And-and I hate it." TK swallowed and blinked back the sudden emotion flooding through him. He couldn't fall apart on her. "Do you need a ride home, pretty girl?" he asked, tone lighter.

"I thought you wanted your twenty minutes." TK's eyebrows furrowed and she laughed softly.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Paper bag lunches next week, remember? I'm loading up on pizza while I can," she teased cheerfully. "Besides, I've got you this time," she added and TK smiled back at her, tucking her hair gently behind her ear. _How does she just pretend to forget about everything that happened, just like that? _It made him wonder if she had been hiding hurt like this from him all week. Something in his chest tightened at the thought. "Oh gosh, I must be a mess," she panicked when TK appeared at her door to help her out.

"That's ridiculous, Kari," he grinned. "C'mon, pretty girl." He took her hand reassuringly and used his left to wipe away the last traces of her tears. Something flickered in his head breifly, something similar to what he'd felt in his car, but her head came to rest on his shoulder then, her hair tickling his neck it flew in the breeze. His heart seemed to swell suddenly, become to large for his chest as he felt her against him. He pulled her closer as they walked inside and the grin remained involuntarily on his face; it was his turn to have heat rush up the back of his neck. _Let Davis try and top this._

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Okay, well that's it. I don't know, maybe I'm just thinking about it too hard, or maybe it's just because this chapter's a little longer. It feels weird to be writing, because I actually can hardly talk right now, my friends were making fun of me this morning because voice is all crazy, and just randomly disappears midsentance sometimes, it's all good though, haha. Yep, well it's time for me to take some cold meds and start studying- ah, being sick right before midterms is not a good thing. -love


	6. Chapter 6

Hey, so this is me NOT studying for my final two midterms I have tomorrow. Haha, I'm actually just taking a break from studying, then it's back to Biology! Oh, what fun! *note heavy sarcastic tone* Kay, enjoy and review! :D

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**Chapter 6**

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Kari heard her door slam behind her as she stumbled into her bed. She winced at the noise, only succeeding in sending pain through her shoulders. Her phone beeped just as she slid beneath her covers. The tips of her fingers barely grasped the small silver device sitting on her desk. Her hands shook violently as she pressed the glowing blue message button.

**Sweet dreams, pretty girl.**

Her tears, already streaming steadily down her face, caught in her throat, so that they came in great sobs and gasps for air. His face flashed in her mind, blonde hair, goofy grin, and all. She wished he was there, wished he could hold her hand and tell her it was okay like he had the day before, wished she could just hear his voice again… His voice. She reached for the house phone, hidden under her bed, and entered his number anxiously. _He said to call, _she thought. _He didn't mean like this; he already had to deal with you falling apart yesterday, he shouldn't have to worry about this stuff anyway. You're not worth that._

"Hello?"

"TK? It's Kari," her voice barely escaped her throat, thick with tears. She shivered beneath her blanket, and a wave of pain shot through her.

"Kari? I just texted you goodnight. You should be in bed, pretty girl," he teased.

"I- I just… Y-you said to call, if…" Her voice failed her as her shoulders shook uncontrollably.

"'Course, Kari. What's wrong?" His voice was low and gentle; he was worried again? Guilt flooded her, and she choked on the tears in her throat. She heard his television click off, his footsteps as he walked to another room. "It's not those girls again, is it? Or something that I did?"

"N-no, of course not TK… I don't-I don't really want to talk about it. I-I don't know if that's-"

"There aren't any conditions, Kari." Her tears fell harder and faster, further clogging her throat. TK's voice sounded strange when he spoke again, strained. "D'you want me to come over?"

_Yes,_ her mind begged desperately. _Please, TK. Make it stop. Make it end. Make it all go away, like you've been doing all week._ "No." The word turned to more of a sob. "J-just talk."

"You're sure you don't want me to come over? I don't mind, Kari, I can be over there in a couple minutes if you need-"

"No, just talk. I-I don't care what you talk about. I just want to listen; I just need to hear…" Her tears took over suddenly.

"Don't cry, Kari, please don't cry." But the pain that echoed in his voice only made her tears fall faster. _How can you hurt him like this? It's not fair to drag him into everything, after all he's done for you already. _"I-I can talk about basketball, that'd put you right to sleep," he joked shakily. "You, you always liked movies. Have you seen-"

"I haven't seen a movie outside of school in three years," she confessed quietly, squeezing her eyes shut in an attempt to stop the tears.

"Oh. O-okay. No movies. Well, basketball it is, I guess…" Static crackled in Kari's ear as he took a deep breath before starting into a lengthy monologue on strategy, training programs, this technique over that one, how the gym equipment was different from his old school… She closed her eyes as he rambled through the topics, nervously at first, but his voice evened out as he continued. The balanced rhythm of his speech soothed her, and she curled further into her covers, closing her eyes and letting his words wash over her. "And you better come to all the games, pretty girl, because when we win I'll have an excuse to take you out to dinner again." Kari's breathing was finally steady enough to allow her to give a soft laugh. TK paused, and she realized the laugh must have been his first sign that she was no longer crying.

"Thank you," she spoke quietly.

"You don't have to thank me, Kari," he paused again. "Are you sure you don't need anything else? I could-"

"It's okay. I'll see you Monday?"

"Of course, Kari… You don't want me to mention any of this then, do you?" he asked knowingly.

"If that's okay-"

"It's fine, Kari. I'm here: no conditions, remember?" she heard him take a slow, deep breath. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," she breathed, but neither hung up.

It was thirty seconds before he spoke again. "Kari… Could, could you promise me something?"

Kari furrowed her brow, "Okay?"

"Promise if you ever feel like this- or anything remotely close to this- again you'll call me?" The question caught her off guard, why would he put himself through this again?

"TK, I shouldn't have even called tonight; you shouldn't have to deal with me falling apart every other-"

"Did it help?" he broke across.

"What?"

"Did it help? Having me talk to you? Did it make you feel any better?" His voice rose slightly in frustration.

"Yes," she murmured.

"Then there's nothing to talk about, Kari. I don't care if- what any of this- it just- it doesn't matter okay?" For a second it sounded as though he was going to say something else, but he ended with a simple "Promise."

"I promise." TK gave a relieved sigh and remained silent for a moment.

"Listen," his voice was softer now, gentle. "Things are going to be okay. Whatever's going on, I'm going to make it stop."

"You can't tell me that- it's not fair-" she stammered, tears stung at the corners of her eyes, but she fought them back; she wouldn't break down again tonight.

"That's a promise, Kari," he spoke over her. "The second I find out what's been making you feel like this I'm going to make it stop."

"Goodnight." She was done. She had pushed him too far, and now… Now what would happen? He couldn't find out. He'd leave. Just like…

"Sweet dreams, pretty girl." There was a sigh from the other end of the line, but Kari pressed the 'end' button quickly, before he could make any more promises. She curled up with the phone still in her hand, her hair sticking to the side of her face as she lay down on her pillow, soaked through with tears. Why was he doing this to himself? Forcing himself into promises he couldn't keep? _Maybe he can keep them,_ she thought, but that was ridiculous; he would leave, of course he would. She wasn't angry with him; it was just true. He wouldn't stay if he found out what was going on; she wasn't worth that. She wasn't even worth this.

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'Kay, guess it's back to studying for me... eh. Please review! -love


	7. Chapter 7

_Hello! Guess what? I'm FINALLY going to be answering a few of your questions! That's right! Really! Not even joking! haha, So... I'll say more at the end I guess, so you guys can read._

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**Chapter 7**"So I know you asked me not to talk about Saturday night," TK began slowly, carefully measuring Kari's reaction. Her shoulders tensed slightly at the mention of Saturday, and he spoke again cautiously. "But I, I mean, you really haven't seen a movie in three years?" The girl in front of him relaxed and a smile formed on her lips.

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"Pretty close to it," she admitted; her eyes wandered away from his distractedly, and he found himself wishing that they were sitting alone, at their own table again. _Selfish_, he thought, but the absence of her attention upset him, _jealous? _

"But you used to go to the movies all the time, why would-?"

"It's complicated," she interrupted, her eyes meeting his again.

TK was silent for a moment, studying her face. "But you don't have anything against movies, right?"

"Of course not, I just haven't gotten the chance to watch any recently, why?"

"I…" Her eyes distracted him now; her expression fascinated him. "I was wondering if you'd like to come over on Friday, to Matt's actually; he has a flat screen, and I thought we could catch you up a little bit." Kari bit her lip indecisively, (_adorably, _he thought) and TK grinned, "Please, pretty girl?" He lay his hand on her wrist as he spoke, "Matt's in culinary school; he might even be able to get **you** to eat like a normal human being."

"I've been eating **fine**, TK, whatever you think," she protested, but her eyes shot away from his again.

"Still too small," he muttered under his breath and Kari shifted uncomfortably. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't-"

"Don't worry about it, TK," she gave a small smile. "Friday sounds fine."

"Cool. I'll pick you up a little before five?"

"Sure." The bell rang; TK easily tossed the remains of the lunches he had packed for them into the trash from across the cafeteria, took her wrist, and walked her back to her locker. He held on for as long as possible, letting go only when Kari reached the door to her next class. Even then, he watched her from the doorway, a smile playing at the corner of his lips as she began to doodle on the corner of her notebook. _Adorable,_ he grinned as the word appeared in his mind for the second time that day. "Absolutely adorable," he breathed.

"As **adorable** as Miss Kamiya may be, Mr. Takaishi, I believe you should be in your Grammar class right now." TK turned a brilliant red at the sound of the Administrator's voice just behind him.

"Erm, right… I'll…I'll just be, going then..." He spotted Davis a few feet away, laughing hysterically. _Fantastic._ "Oh, shut up," TK spoke before a word could escape the brunette's mouth. Friday couldn't come soon enough.

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TK knocked lightly on the door and ran a hand loosely through his hair; the sun had turned the sky a brilliant orange as it set, its last rays warming the side of the large apartment building. For a few seconds there was only the sound of a rough voice, loud but muffled by the walls, before the door swung open, revealing a nervous looking Kari. "Hey there, pretty girl," he greeted her gently, smiling at the sight of her face in the soft orange light.

"Who's that?" The rough voice came again, no longer muffled, but still slightly slurred.

Kari spoke low and fast, "We should go." There was another emotion in her eyes, more than mere anxiety.

"WHO IS THAT?" A man appeared behind Kari. Thick and bulky, he made the small girl appear nearly insignificant in comparison.

"Takeru Takaishi." TK held his hand out politely, but found that he was not at all disappointed when the man ignored him. Something bothered him about the way he towered over her so commandingly, the way she visibly shrunk in his presence.

"How many times-" The man swore under his breath before clenching his fist around Kari's hair, pulling back sharply. She gave a soft cry; TK could only stand there, lost. "You-" The words that followed sent heat stinging through his bones, the idiot in front of him couldn't actually be saying those things in front of her? Let alone calling her them. How dare he speak to Kari, who couldn't hate anyone, couldn't even be angry at those stupid girls from the pizza place, as though she was a piece of trash, spitting obscenities in her face? The man's rough hand, still twined with her chestnut hair, yanked back violently, and she fell to the ground. TK was frozen, unable to think, to register the anger running through his body. A foot landed square between Kari's shoulders, she made an odd noise and lay still as the man stood over her. "Guess he's just messing around for the night, you'd think he'd be able to find someone a bit better looking to sleep with, least someone's getting some use out of you." He kicked her again, sending Kari into a coughing fit before he stumbled back to their couch, buried in empty beer cans.

"W-we should go," Kari spoke quietly, on her feet again. She brushed against him as she stepped through the door way. Something about the feel of her, the warmth of her shoulder as it bumped against his, finally sent the reality through him. It had happened. Some idiot had yelled at her, called her a list of words he wouldn't repeat, and kicked her. Kicked her. He had hurt her. And TK hadn't done anything.

He was through the screen door in a heartbeat. "TK, I," she began, but he took two quick steps forward before his arms crushed her tiny body against his own. The anger pounded in his head now, rushed through him in great torrents. There was a brief moment of uncertainty before she relaxed in his arms, though even then she made no move to return the hug. TK pressed his face into her hair, breathing in her scent in an attempt to calm himself enough to speak. The idea backfired however, the feel of her tiny form in his arms, the warmth of her body against his, the softness of her hair brushing his skin, it all only made him angrier, made the weight of the situation even harder to bear.

"Get your things." He leaned his face down, beside her ear, and clutched her closer to him.

"TK, I don't need anything, we're just watching some movies," she said quietly.

"You honestly believe I'm going to let you life like this, Kari? That I'm going to let you stay here with… with whatever **this** is? I- I won't let you, if I have to carry you out myself, Kari, you're not staying here, alright?" His voice shook violently; he squeezed his eyes shut to help fight back the emotions rising in his chest.

"I can't just leave," she whispered, a small amount of emotion leaking into her small voice. "I don't have anywhere to stay…"

"You let me worry about that. You're- you're not coming back here." He swallowed. "You won't be coming back either way; you might as well get some of your things."

She spoke very softly then, barely audible. "W-will you come with me?"

"Of course I will, you think I'm letting you in there alone?" TK forced himself to release her from his arms, swiftly taking her hand when the absence of her body sent an odd ache through his chest.

They made it to her room (the only room in the house not littered with beer cans) before a garbled "What're you doing?" came from down the hallway. Kari froze, still holding her backpack and a pile of books in her arms. "WHAT'RE YOU DOING?" the man repeated, storming into the room and raising a fist over Kari. TK stepped between them just in time, grunting as the blow landed on the side of his head.

"TK!" she cried. "TK, you shouldn't have-"

"Wait in the car." He pressed his keys into her hands. "Second row over."

"TK-"

"Go, Kari. Now." She obeyed his words silently, slipping out behind them both.

The man appeared confused by her sudden departure, wavering between the two of them indecisively. TK used the extra time gratefully, stuffing a few handfuls of clothing in an old green duffle bag. _What else?_ Her camera, purse, cell phone. He skimmed her desk, that couldn't be-? The photo album he had made for her in the beginning of 8th grade lay open, displaying a few badly lit photographs he had taken with a series of disposable cameras he had bought for the project. The emotion that flooded him was interrupted by a second blow to the side of his head. TK grabbed the book and her old digivice from the desk before stepping easily around the large man and hurrying out of the apartment.

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_So I obviously didn't answer EVERYTHING yet. But at least you're not totally in the dark now. And I'll give you more next time. :D Yep, I actually meant to put this up a couple days ago, but I never got around to typing it. So here it is! Haha, I'm actually putting this up while I'm waiting for the Psych premeire to come on. I'm so excited! 40 minutes! lol, oh dear. Oh, also: Thank you for the "good luck"s on my exams by the way, I ended up doing really well actually, so that's cool. Please review! -love_


	8. Chapter 8

_Hey, so I took a long time with this, and I know this chapter is really short, but there's more coming! I promise! Probably tomorrow? I hope so anyway... Okay, enjoy (and review)!_

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**Chapter 8**

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Kari watched silently as he climbed into the car; none of it made sense, nothing he did compared with any sort of logic she could imagine. She had expected anger, irritation maybe; at best she had hoped he would ignore everything completely, act as though nothing had happened. **This**, on the other hand, only left her bewildered, disoriented. He had hugged her. Her first hug in how many years? And he had told her… _But that can't be true, can it? Of course not, _she snapped mentally. _Even if he wanted it to be…_

There was a forced calm in his voice when he spoke, **very forced**. "Who was that?" Kari looked over at him again, his hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, knuckles white, and his eyes stared straight ahead, unseeing.

"Stepfather," she whispered simply. TK took a shaky breath and nodded, closing his eyes. He didn't seem angry at all, she realized. Well, not wither **her**. He was completely furious with **something**, as much as he tried to cover it. It must be her.

"You're- Are you okay? I-I mean, there's Tylenol and stuff at Matt's, d'you need anything-" He swallowed and closed his eyes again. His right hand fell away from the steering wheel and he ran it, trembling, through his hair.

"I'm fine, TK," she lied calmly, automatically. "What're you so worried about?" His face turned to hers for the first time, tears echoing behind his clear blue eyes.

"Please, Kari." The pain in his voice tore through her, was that hurt her fault? What could she have done to make him feel like that? She couldn't be that important to him… "Please, j-just stop pretending." His word hit her full force, pulled the floor from beneath her, and she came crashing down with them.

There was no chance for her to hold the tears back; they shook her whole being, bruised muscles aching desperately in protest. His arms were around her in the same instant, one beneath her knees, the other around her back, both cradling her body gently against his warm chest. So warm. Her sobs only grew in violence, tears choking her and making it nearly impossible to breathe. She felt his arms wrapping more securely around her back, felt him pull her closer. She clung to his strong chest, pressing her face into his neck as he continued to tighten his hold on her shaking form.

"It's gonna be okay," he murmured softly, stroking her hair. Kari closed her eyes and focused on the feeling of his arms wrapping further around her body, of his fingers running soothingly through her hair. She had long since lost count of the nights she had spent crying, bruises fresh in her skin, **his** words fresh in her mind. Each one was the same, blurring together to create what felt like an eternity of soaking herself with tears. But everything was different now. His arms were stronger than the pain. His shirt collected the tears that usually soaked her through. His voice could speak low in her ear and tell her everything would be all right. And she could breathe in the warmth of his neck and pretend he could keep that promise. "It's okay. You never have to go back there, I'm gonna keep you safe, Kari, I promise." _You can't promise that,_ she thought, but she honestly could not have cared less if his words were true.

He was there. He was wiping away her tears. He was hugging her against him. And whether she came back here or not, he was giving her hope. Hope that he might be there to hold her while she cried.

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_talkstoangels77: I looked up that song - it's so sad! But, of course, a lot of this story is too, and it was really pretty of course. I've found a couple of Deas Vail songs that fit really well- one of which is the quote at the begining._

_Urahara144: Sorry you didn't get much more this chapter, but there'll be a lot more next time around, which should be very soon, I just need to get it typed out._

_Hrm, so, what else to write? I can't think of much at the moment... Let's see, oh random fact: I have to dress up as John Adams for a History report tomorrow, weird right? haha, There, that's good enough. As always, please review! :D And I'll definitely try and get that next chapter up soon! -love_


	9. Chapter 9

_"Another chapter" you ask? The answer is "YES!" it is anohter chapter! Partially to make up for my taking some extra time with the super-short chapter that was Chapter 8. Also I am home from school today, so I don't actually have that much else that HAS to be done (although, I probably should be working on my history project... hm...) Okay, enjoy!_

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**Chapter 9**

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TK led Kari into the apartment building silently, her thin wrist secure in his right hand; a headache pounded relentlessly in his temple. He closed his eyes for a second, trying to will the pain away: no luck. Shifting his bag on his left shoulder for a second, he pulled a key ring from his back pocket. His shoulder bumped against hers as he stuffed a key in the lock. "Sorry," he apologized automatically, shooting her a worried glance when she shivered. His hand slid past her sleeve to feel her skin. "Cold," he murmured, shaking his head. _Hasn't anyone been taking care of her? _The thought only upset him further.

Matt's apartment was dark and modern, walls covered in framed concert photos and shelves lined with innumerable CDs. The flat screen TV stood in the opposite corner of the living room; if college students were supposed to be poor, clearly no one had told Matt. TK tried briefly to recall the details of Matt's contract- something to do with the TV station, something to do with music; he hadn't followed it all very well. Either way, it had more than paid for Matt's culinary school tuition, the apartment, the flat screen, all of it.

TK shook the thoughts away; just trying to remember the details of the contract made his headache worsen, or was that from the gentle trembling he felt beneath his fingers? Was she really trying to keep from shivering? He shouldn't have let her know that he was worried… He tugged gently on her hand, pulled her into the kitchen. Grabbing a stool from the beside the clean granite counter, he made sure she was sitting before darting back to the living room. His eyes fell almost immediately to a charcoal grey blanket on the couch; he scooped it up quickly, back in the kitchen within seconds.

Matt appeared from around the corner; his hair was looser than it had been when they were in middle school, less gelled. But he had retained his natural smoothness, coolness, through to college, currently sporting an aqua blue band shirt and a pair of dark wash jeans. "Long time no see, Hikari." He smiled, but TK ignored him completely, taking swift steps across the room and wrapping the blanket around Kari's shoulders "Something wrong, TK?"

TK ignored his brother again, focusing on making eye contact with the small, silent girl in front of him before beginning to speak. "It's time to talk, Kari."

Her eyes darted away immediately, studying the floor. "About what?" she asked quietly; the words sent an angry heat stinging through his bones.

"Don't you give me that!" he snapped, harsher than he really felt, but she couldn't keep this up. "You know exactly '**About what**'."

She took a deep, slow breath, "Tai left two weeks after Dad's funeral- to college, I think. I haven't really heard from him." Her voice kept a dull, soft monotone.

"What-" But he didn't have to finish.

"Dad was in a car accident… And Tai- Tai has sent me a card for my Birthday, Christmas, Easter, and the end of school every year since he left. He just signs his name and stuffs a couple of fifty-dollar bills inside. No return address, no phone number," she paused for another breath, slightly shakier than before. Pain shot through his arms suddenly; he wanted to hold her again, he realized. Hold her body against his and make her voice stop shaking, hold her hand in his and make her fingers stop trembling. It took everything in him to let her finish; he didn't want to hear how the story ended, he had just seen it, hadn't he? It only made him angry again, watching her this upset. "Mom got remarried to, to him." Hatred flashed through him, whatever he had seen in that apartment was an **it**, not a **him**.

"Where is she?" TK forced himself to ask, to distract himself from the fury building in his chest, the still growing pounding in his temple.

"Mom," she stared determinedly at her trembling hands, "Mom was in a car accident too. H-he was driving, and he had been drinking, I think. I-I don't know everything…" TK suddenly felt sick.

"Kari, you- you never said anything, I-"

"S'okay, TK," she whispered.

"No, it's not," he spoke quietly, and closed his eyes for a moment, forcing himself to continue. "Did he ever hurt her?" Kari blinked frantically and shook her head 'no'. He swallowed, how much longer could he push her? Push the two of them? "Did he hurt you, before-" he couldn't finish.

"Not- not in front of her," she stammered, sending small stabs of pain through his chest. "When they fought, and she would leave… He'd sort of- take things out on me, I guess." Her eyes met his briefly and she quickly added, "It wasn't like tonight, TK. I promise. It wasn't like that before, honestly, nothing that-" Her voice dropped out.

"When?" he choked. There was no point in delaying the question. It would only hurt worse if he put the answer off. "How long has all of this been going on?"

"Dad's accident was right after you left, so a little over three years ago, at the beginning of the summer. Mom died late August, two years ago."

His anticipation of the pain did not lessen the hurt that ripped through him. It was as though she had stabbed him. He could hardly breathe, and throbbing, unrelenting aches shot through his chest. "Two years…" he echoed faintly. "He's been hurting you like that for two years?"

Kari made no attempt to answer, only continuing to stare down at her hands, shaking even worse than before. Matt's voice came from his right, TK had almost forgotten he was there. "TK, whatever this guy did, it's not your fault-" But it was too late, TK had buried too much of his anger that day; he could only take so much.

"**You didn't see him, Matt!**" He was yelling already, glaring at his brother as if it was all his fault, as if he was the reason she was like this, the reason she was hurting. "You didn't watch him hurt her! I-I'm never going to be able to forget that. Or the things he said- the things he called her!" TK took a rattling breath before continuing, his fingers raking unconsciously through his hair. "And you didn't stand there- j-just **stand there** and let him hurt her. And now I find out he's been doing it for **two years**?" He hadn't remembered moving, but his fist slammed angrily into cold black granite as he continued, "**TO** **HER**?"

But the hurt won out then, and pain ravaged through him as his anger ran out. Tears burned threateningly at the corners of his eyes. "I- I can't," he whispered, leaning his elbows on the counter and gripping his blonde hair in his fists. _Why does it hurt like this?_ But he knew the answer, he had always known. Her mere presence tripled anything he might feel, multiplied it innumerably if the feeling had anything to do with her. _Why?_ But he knew that as well. _Because she's my best friend. Because I would do anything for her, be anyone. Because she means more to me than anything ever could._

Matt's firm hand on his shoulder pushed his thoughts away, made the battle to hold his tears back even harder. "TK…" his brother began, but another noise caught his attention: Kari's shoes as they hit the hard floor.

"Kari?" TK wiped his eyes and straightened quickly, pushing past Matt to see her. Her back faced him; she was walking away? He reached out and snatched up her wrist quickly, tugging slightly so she turned to face him. "Where do you think you're going, pretty girl?" he tried to lighten his tone, but his efforts only caused his words to catch tight in his throat.

"I, I don't know. I can't stay, TK," she stammered shakily. "I can't let you feel like this, it's not fair, I'm not worth all of this-" she shook her head and tried to turn to go.

"Don't leave," his words came out low, pained. His hand tightened on her wrist, pulled her closer. "Please, please, I can't-" he shook his head, trying to clear it. "I need you here, Kari. I need you safe, please." He was begging now, his right hand ached to stroke her face. "Please." Tears burned behind his eyes again, and he gave into the ache, running his hand gently along her skin. "I need you… I need you safe. Please, Kari, I can't even think that-" There was that terrible twinge in his chest again, the one that longed to hold her, begged to hold her so close that she could forget everything- that they could both forget.

"You have to-"

"Anything," he breathed; he had somehow drawn even closer to the small girl, his hand tilting her face up to his; he stared in her eyes, the beautiful chocolate brown mesmerizing him. "Anything, Kari."

"You have to believe me, TK. You have to know that this isn't your fault, none of it is." TK stared in her eyes for a few more seconds before speaking. He couldn't lie to her; he knew he had to mean it.

"I believe you," he whispered, nodding and rubbing his thumb across her cheek, soft and cool beneath his hand. "I believe you."

* * *

_talkstoangels77: Yep. It's "Follow Sound" by Deas Vail. There's actually a few others that I really like too, but this was the first one I listened to after I wrote the bare-bones rough draft of the ending (most of which has been thrown out, and is in the process of being reworked, btw) which was right before I started posting._

_Yep! There you go! __:D Hrm.. what to say? _

_Okay, so I just realized that the John Adams thing yesterday was REALLY random, haha. I guess the point is I have a history project due like EVERY DAY THIS WEEK, which is pretty rediculous if you ask me. Ah, well, that's okay, at least I'm getting stuff up anyway, and I might not be in school tomorrow either, hm... Okay, well... that was... pointless. But I wanted to follow up my random fact from Monday, and I'm a little crazy because I went to bed at like 3:30 last night. Why? Because I was watching Anne of Green Gables. Now I don't really have anything against these movies, and I'm actually liking them (the second one seemed to drag on a bit though, idk), but after watching nothing but that for about 4 1/2 hours and then waking up to find my sister watching them AGAIN, I'm kind of in the mood for something a little more ""-ish, you know? Okay, if anyone actually read that rant, I am both flattered and impressed, as I don't even think I would have read all of that... okay maybe i would've, and maybe i would've said out loud as fast as I could and added sound effects as often as possible... maybe... okay, probably._

_Alright, thanks for reading! As always: please review! :D -love_


	10. Chapter 10

_It's finally going up! Finally! So, I won't talk anymore here, go ahead and read! :)_

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Chapter 10

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Kari felt his hand fall from her face, coming to rest on her arm instead. Warmth soaked through her sleeve where his hand lay, and she forced back a shiver. "We should probably get some ice on your back," TK said quietly, averting his eyes slightly as he eased away from her. His fingers massaged her arm gently as he spoke, and she winced faintly as he put pressure on one of the bruises hidden beneath her sleeve. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." His bright eyes clouded immediately with worry and his hand fell away, leaving a chill in its place.

"Relax, TK, you didn't know," she whispered, touching her hand lightly to his wrist. He pulled away and turned towards Matt. _He let go for a reason; he doesn't want you touching him._

"D'you still have those ice packs from this summer?" TK asked, adding, "I had a shoulder injury a couple of months ago," for Kari's sake.

"You mean are they still taking up half my freezer?" Matt asked sarcastically, smirking, "Yeah, I'll get some paper towels."

"Kari," TK began again, turning to face her. He still looked worried, almost guilty again. "You should probably change into short sleeves, if that's okay," he paused for a few seconds before she realized he was asking her permission, "Just so we can get some ice-"

"Y-yeah, that's fine," she nodded and TK ducked into the living room for a few seconds before emerging from around the corner carrying her old green duffel bag. "Here, I don't know what all's in there, I just sort of grabbed stuff…"

"TK, I know you didn't mean to hurt-" she began; his eyes met hers, blue still fogged over with worry. "I'm fine."

"Fine," he scoffed under his breath, shaking his head, but his eyes seemed to clear slightly. "The bathroom's over there," he gestured towards the other end of the kitchen, where a doorway led to a small hallway and handed her the duffel bag. "Through the middle door."

Kari followed the instructions silently, her eyes falling automatically to the floor as she walked. She let the dull pattern of the laminate tiles lead her as far as the hall and barely glanced up to make certain she was stepping through the correct door. The bathroom was sleek and dark, matching the rest of the apartment, but rather small, or perhaps that was merely from the dark granite that covered every surface. Thick slabs held both the sink and the shower, nearly blending with the floor. She closed the door and dug quickly through her bag; TK had actually picked nearly all short-sleeved shirts. _What'll I do on Monday? _She pushed the thought away and reluctantly traded one of the nicer v-neck t-shirts for what she wore.

_Don't look in the mirror. _A sudden desire to cover her arms seized her, a need to hide herself away, to turn off the lights and close her eyes and pretend she did not look- like **that**. Her reflection shone harshly out at her from a mirror on the back of the door; bruises glared out strikingly on her too-thin arms. _Hideous, as if you deserve a second of this mess you're putting TK through._ Shaking, she threw the door open. _You can't do this to him; you have to leave. You know you're not worth this._

"Kari," She flinched at TK's voice, speaking her name, the name of the stupid girl that kept hurting him. She stared at the floor, remained silent as she felt his eyes on her. He could see her now, couldn't he? See how she really was? Ugly, insignificant, worthless piece of trash that- "Kari," he gasped breathlessly, and his arms were around her again, crushing her into him. This was the third time that night he had hugged her. Her first three hugs in three years. She returned the gesture this time, though his height made her small arms feel almost completely inconsequential around his back. His hands knotted with her shirt in response, pulled her closer at her touch. She could the saltiness of her tears as they rapidly soaked through his shirt, and her shoulders still trembled, despite his tight grip. "Didn't anyone help? Aren't there," his voice shook violently and he swallowed. "Aren't there like, government programs that are supposed to keep this from happening?"

"Of- of course there are, TK, but they can't take care of everyone." She rubbed his back, trying to comfort him even as she sobbed into his shoulder. "I just happened to be that one that they missed."

"It's not fair," he whispered, and then his voice rose angrily. "As if you haven't been through enough already! As if you deserved to have to through all of that **then**! As if, out of everyone, as if you ever-" She felt his forehead pressing into her hair.

"TK," her tears were fading slowly; she squeezed her eyes closed.

"Sh…" he whispered into her hair; his arms loosened from around her, easing her away. A sob caught in her throat, but she couldn't make him, if he didn't want… "It's okay," his arms pulled from around her completely now, but his hands remained, slid down her arms and gripped her elbows. "Sh…" he breathed again, and his breath was closer; he stepped forward, pinning her elbows against the wall, pressing her shoulders into the grey paint. His face leaned down, close to her's, and she felt the tip of his nose brushing against her cheek. Her heart did something odd then, but she pushed it aside, attributing it to the tears that threatened to escape her eyes. "He is never going to hurt you again, you hear me? I promise, Kari. I swear; he's never going to lay so much as a finger on you ever again."

"You can't promise that, TK, even if you really wanted to. Eventually, you'll have to go, eventually-" she spoke half to herself, reminding herself that it was too good to be true.

"I'm not going to leave again, Kari, for both of our sakes."

Kari blinked frantically, wishing it could be true. "Tai didn't think he was going to leave either," she whispered.

"I'M NOT TAI!" He was suddenly yelling, inches from her face; his hands tightened on her elbows. "I'M NEVER GOING TO DO THAT TO YOU! It makes me sick that he left you; it makes me sick that **I** left you! And it's never going to happen again," his voice faded, and he closed his eyes. "I'm sorry." He took a deep breath before opening his eyes again. "Y-you don't need me to yell at you. I'm sorry," he repeated, closing his eyes again. "I-I just, I'd do anything for you. I'd give you anything you want. You just have to ask."

"Y-"

"Try, Kari," he leaned down again, rested his forehead against hers. "Ask me for anything. Anything, and it's yours, I promise- as much as I can give."

Kari stared into his bright blue eyes for nearly a minute before answering, "Hold me again?" she whispered, tears flooding her eyes. A small smile appeared on his lips before his arms closed once again around her small form.

"It's getting me to let go that's the trick." He held her snug against his chest until her tears stopped completely. "C'mon," he breathed, taking her wrist and leading her gently back to the living room. Kari's head felt fuzzy, blurred, so overwhelmed with emotions that she could no longer place exactly what she felt. She caught Matt in the corner of her eye, working on something in the kitchen. TK pushed her gently onto a couch; she heard him speak, but her mind refused to focus until an ice pack pressed lightly to her arm. She gave a small, sharp breath at the sudden cold, goose bumps rising on her arms.

"Sorry, you're still cold, aren't you?" he spoke, his voice lighter, but worry still pulled gently at his tone. "Here," he handed her a stack of Blue Rays and DVDs. "I grabbed a bunch, but I figured we could just watch one or two tonight…"

"What?" Kari stared at him blankly, confused.

"I'm sorry, are you still up for a movie? I thought it might get your mind off things, but if-"

"Oh, okay," she spoke quietly.

"You don't have to-"

"No, TK, it's fine." He did not appear convinced. "Really, TK, it's a good idea, I just forgot." TK nodded and ducked out of the room, blonde hair disappearing around the corner. She shuffled slowly through the discs, it seemed forever ago that she had agreed to the movie night. The stack was large, and he seemed to have two or three movies from every genre, even two sappy looking drama/romance movies that she quickly tossed aside. She began a second pile: superhero, superhero, comedy, Pixar cartoon…

TK reentered, carrying the same grey blanket from before over his shoulder and two glasses entirely too full with soda. Setting the glasses down carefully, he switched his attention to the movies. "Which ones?" He eyed the piles nervously as she added a depressing looking drama to the first stack..

"No. Yes," she pointed to the stacks and laughed as he gave a relieved breath. "You honestly think that I want to watch 'A tear-jerking tale of the bond between a young girl and her horse'?" she quoted off the cover of another movie.

TK gave a small laugh and shrugged, "I didn't know if you still liked the same stuff." He reached for the second pile picked one of the superhero movies.

"A horse movie? Really?" Kari asked again, giggling.

"Okay, that one was pretty terrible," he admitted. "My mom is convinced that we have to spend quality together by watching awful movies that only she likes."

"Then why would you bring it?"

"It's your movie night, Kari, not mine," he placed the disc in Matt's Blue Ray player, tossed the case onto the coffee table, and dropped down beside her on the couch.

"It's still your responsibility to save me from the really terrible ones!" she smiled and hit him playfully on the shoulder. TK feigned irritation and threw the charcoal blanket over her head.

It was one of those moments that used to happen all the time, the kind that could only happen between best friends. It started as a small giggle escaping from Kari's lips from beneath the blanket, and then a chuckle from TK as her head poked from behind the dark grey fleece. In only a few seconds her stomach ached with laughter- laughter that made it impossible to breathe, taking over her entire body. Laughter at some unknown joke that renewed itself each time their eyes met.

Matt raised his eyebrows at the pair as he set a large, homemade pizza and Greek salad on the coffee table. She forced her giggles back as TK, fighting his own bouts of laughter, jumped up to get plates. He insisted on serving her, purposefully cutting her slices that were larger than what she would have taken herself and adding an extra scoop of salad to her bowl before handing her a fork.

"You still look cold," he murmured as the previews played. His arms pulled her gently into his lap, his hands rubbing lightly up and down her bare arms, trying to transfer some of his heat into her thin body without applying any additional pressure to her battered muscles. Memories flashed through her mind, stark contrasts to the hurt they were constantly fighting back. Emotion washed over her suddenly, and she twisted into his arms, pressing her face into his shoulder. "Hey," he whispered rubbing her back now. "It's okay, do you need-"

She shook her head silently, blinking back tears, "I missed you."

His nose pressed lightly into her hair and he pulled her closer for a few seconds, "I missed you too."

* * *

Matt smirked over at his younger brother, still holding Kari's small body protectively in his arms despite the fact that she had fallen asleep nearly half an hour ago. He shifted positions every few minutes, still trying to decide which one would make her the most comfortable. The third movie continued to play in the background, but TK had abandoned any of his pitiful attempts to appear to be watching anything but Kari the second she had closed her eyes. A stack of ice packs rested on the floor, lukewarm now, after hours out of the fridge. TK had used them on the worst of the bruises on her arms, as well as what appeared to be a particularly painful spot on her back.

"Do you want me to get the futon out?" Matt asked quietly. TK nodded without looking up, his eyes locked on her, his fingers winding and unwinding with hers.

Matt was halfway out of the room when his brother spoke again. "I just don't get it, Matt." His head shook back and forth. "I know that there are idiots who do this stuff, but, but to **her**? I mean, haven't we all been through enough as it is? And she, how can anyone look at her, and be able to," he swallowed, and his hand stroked the side of her face as he spoke. "I just, what if she believes everything he's been telling her? What if, after two years, she actually thinks those things could be true?" he sighed and closed his eyes. "She's not going to let me…"

"She doesn't want you to tell anyone," Matt spoke knowingly.

"She hasn't said it yet, but she doesn't want to end up in a foster home. And I don't blame her, I mean, I know she can't handle that. They won't let her stay with you; you're a college age guy for goodness sakes, you know how terrible that looks. And mom can hardly keep track of **me**. Not to mention, if he got out of everything with her mom, who's to say he can't get out of this too?"

"Her birthday-"

"I know," TK swallowed. "I'm just trying to think of something **more** stupid and irresponsible."

"I've got an extra room; you know she can stay here as long as she needs to. She'll be eighteen in what, a month? And then we can get her all the doctors and all the therapy and everything else she needs."

TK nodded, running his fingers over her arm. "I know."

* * *

_I can't imagine how long this would have taken if I hadn't been out sick this week, but it's up! As always, please review! -love_


	11. Chapter 11

_Oh my word, I can't believe I took this long to get this up! But it's my longest yet (I think?) so hopefully that will make up for some of the time it took for me to type it all up. Then again, I'm not very confident about this chapter, ah well. Okay:  
Ready?  
Set.  
READ! ( and maybe review??? ;) )_

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**Chapter 11**

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TK hung up the phone just as Kari appeared from around the corner. Her entrance sent an odd mix of emotions through him, anger, hurt, but also an inexpressible warmth that spread through his chest. Her appearance only worsened this struggle; she wore a fresh pair of dark jeans and a deep rose-colored, scoop-neck t-shirt that left her arms bare, revealing the bruises that stood out starkly against her soft complexion. How could he be happy when she was hurting like that? But... he was. Her hair was still wet from the shower; it fell her eyes as she leaned against the stove. He swallowed forcibly, fighting the urge to pull her into his arms.

"Good morning, pretty girl," he smiled slightly, her presence dominant over that of the bruises on her arms. Her eyes dropped to the floor in response, more hair falling into her eyes.

"May I use the hairdryer in the bathroom?" she asked the floor quietly.

"No 'good morning'?" He stepped across the room and brushed the hair from her eyes, stared into the chocolate brown that refused to stare back. "You don't have to ask to use the **hairdryer**, Kari," he whispered, taking her hand into his own. He had meant, of course, for the gesture to comfort **her**, but he found it alleviated much of the hurt that had been stinging near constantly through his veins since her arrival. It felt good to hold her hand there, safe in his. His mind flashed to the previous night, holding her in his arms, sliding his fingers in and out of hers. Heat rose on his neck and he blinked, erasing the thoughts.

"Right," she mumbled, her eyes finally meeting his.

"Still no 'good morning'?" he raised his eyebrow playfully, even as worry tore through him. _Are you okay, pretty girl?_

"What kind of 'good morning' were you looking for, exactly?" she smiled.

"I dunno," he shrugged, her smile relaxing him. "A 'Hey, I'm still alive,' at least. If you really wanted to make my day, you could throw in a hug." He grinned mischievously, but he was taken aback by how true the words really were, that a hug from her really **could **make his day. Pink flooded Kari's face, but, to his surprise, he felt her thin arms wrap his back.

"Good morning," she murmured into his chest. TK returned the hug, pulling her closer into him. His nose brushed briefly against her wet hair, and he was disappointed to find her scent masked by that of Matt's soap. He chuckled softly as he released her, and she shot him a confused look.

"We need to get you to the store; it's gonna be weird if you come in on Monday smelling like Matt," he explained teasingly. "Now, what d'you want for breakfast?"

"TK, about Monday…" He noticed that she held arms behind her back, that her hands ran self-consciously over her forearms.

"The shirt thing?" he interrupted; she nodded silently. "I've got it covered," he grinned, grabbing a bowl from a cupboard above Kari's head. "Cereal sound good?"

"What do you mean?" she eyed him worriedly.

"I mean, you're not dead-set on an omelet or something? 'Cause that's fine, but you'll have to wait on Matt."

"No," a small wrinkle appeared between her eyebrows, and she pushed some of her loose hair behind her hair. "What do you mean you've 'got it covered'?"

"I mean, I've got it taken care of, pretty girl. And I don't want you worrying about it." He glanced over at her as he pulled a spoon from a drawer and set it in the bowl, worriedly, he realized. But it wasn't the same for her. She shouldn't ever have to worry, not anymore. "I-Is that-?" His eyes caught on a deep purple mark along her collarbone, formerly hidden by her hair.

"I can't let you buy me-" He heard her protest, but he ignored it, moving towards her, examining the dark bruise.

"Are there more, Kari?"

"What? TK, you can't just change the-"

"We'll talk about it later. I promise," he added softly, looking reassuringly into her brown eyes. "Could you answer my question?" She remained quiet, looking slightly confused. "Are there more?" he repeated, trying to keep his voice low.

"Oh… O-Of course there are, TK, you honestly think he stopped at my arms?" she mumbled, her eyes darting away.

"You should have told me last night, Kari." He reached his hand up to touch is fingers gently to the bruise, but her small form shrank back from his hand automatically, fear flashing briefly in her eyes. Hurt stung immediately through him. _She's not supposed to be like that with me. She's not supposed to be afraid anymore. _It amazed him how quickly their moods could change to this, to him trying to keep her from hurting at the same time that pain echoed so strongly his own body so that he could no longer think straight.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, pretty girl," he spoke in a low voice, using the nickname in an attempt to relieve some of the hurt he knew sounded in his voice. Kari blinked rapidly, still refusing to meet his eyes. "You don't believe me?" he asked, keeping his voice low, but allowing his false lightness to slip, letting pain taint his words.

"Of course I believe you." She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "You wouldn't- wouldn't try to hurt me. But- some of the bruises are just really," she swallowed, "really sore, you know? It's, it's not your fault."

"Kari," he reached out and stroked her cheek very lightly with the back of his fingers. The feeling of her cool, soft skin sent an odd burning through his hand. It wasn't a bad sensation, but a good one, that reawakened the ache to run his hand over the curves of her face, to caress the shape of her neck. He blinked, but the urge did not depart so easily this time; he closed his eyes for a few moments, regaining focus. "If something I do hurts you, you have to tell me, even if it's an accident. I don't want to turn into- I'm not him, okay? I hate seeing you get hurt, I **hate** it. I can do gentle, or- or I can ease off," he offered quietly, desperately hoping that she would chose the first option. Easing off? He could hardly keep from throwing his arms around her every time she walked in the room; how did he expect to hold back completely? _I'll do it for her,_ he thought, _if that's what she wants. _But he wondered briefly how he would feel once the scent of her hair was no longer masked by Matt's shampoo.

"No." Tears were suddenly cropping up behind her voice again. Would that sound ever stop hurting? "No, don't- that's exactly why I haven't been telling you." Her arms were suddenly around his back again. "P-Please, d-don't stop. Even if it hurts a little." Her face pressed into his chest, and he wrapped his arms very lightly around her, careful to avoid the spots he knew were painful.

"Ten thirty in the morning and you're already in tears." He stroked her back exceedingly gently, resting his nose against her forehead. "I must be worse at this than I thought, pretty girl."

"I-I'm sorry," she stammered, pulling away and pushing the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. "I sh-shouldn't, I know. I sh-should be grateful."

"No, Kari." He caught her wrists and pulled her hands away from her tearstained face. "That's not what I meant, I just don't like seeing you hurt like that." He leaned down when she averted her eyes, forced her to look at him as he spoke again, the soft words bouncing warmth off of her skin. "You're allowed to cry, I just wish you didn't have a reason to."

For a second he thought she would ignore him, but she gave a small, trembling nod and returned to his arms. "Where does it hurt?" he whispered in her ear, as his hand ran along the gentle curve of her back. She gave a small, teary breath, and, unable to speak, she pressed her face into his chest again. "Hey," he breathed, but a small, cool hand found his, and she brushed the tips of his fingers against her left side, along her ribs. "It's gonna stop hurting, Kari, I promise," he swallowed. "I promise. Where else?" he whispered. She touched his hand to four or five other spots before her tears took over completely. He closed her eyes and pulled her nearer to him, doing his best to avoid the worst of her injuries.

"Closer?" her small voice was barely audible, and she shook all the worse when his arms slid only slightly further around her back.

"I don't want to hurt-" he apologized, but she cut him off.

"Please? J-Just pretend y-you don't know. It's okay; I-I'll be fine." Her voice shook at the same rate as her trembling body. He couldn't stand it anymore, the way her voice broke on the 'please' and the way she quivered beneath his tentative hold. Forcing back the lump in his throat, TK tightened his grip, holding her as he had the night before, as close as he could pull her, trying to bury her pain into his chest.

"I'm sorry," he choked out as he pressed his nose again into her hair, "I'm sorry."

Ten minutes later, his arms had loosened so that they held her gently around her shoulders. Kari's hands laid limply on his chest; her forehead leaned lightly against the fabric of his soft cotton t-shirt. Her breathing was still odd, and had he looked at her face, he would have found her skin covered in half-dried tears. But despite the pain that he knew ached through her battered body (that he knew she was suppressing for his benefit) he also knew that she wanted this. He knew, as little sense as it made, that feeling his arms tight against her bruises still hurt less than the memories that haunted each injury. Those bruises were deeper and darker than the splotches on her skin. And sometimes, like then, he wouldn't be able to help both kinds of hurt; sometimes he would have to choose. And he wouldn't always make the right decision the first time. But he would be there, and he would try. He would do anything to take the pain away, even hurt himself, if that was what it would take.

"I'm sorry."

* * *

TK snuck up behind Kari as she chewed silently on a turkey sandwich. Matt had left for classes an hour previous, reminding TK of his basketball practice that afternoon before leaving them alone in the apartment. Trying to counterbalance the rough beginning to the morning, TK had decided to finish the third movie from the previous night (pulling Kari close against his side as they sat on the couch, and wrapping a blanket around her shoulders as he encompassed her hands in his), before TK insisted they (mostly **she**) break for lunch.

And there she was. Her soft brown hair was dry now, a piece pulled back on the top of her head with bobby pins, the same as she had worn it at the pizza place. He took another step forward and slid his arms lightly around her thin waist. His face leaned down, inches from her ear, before he spoke.

"You up for a field trip, pretty girl?"

"I don't think…" Her eyes shot to her arms unconsciously.

"Exactly," he cut across, keeping his voice light. "I've got a surprise." He gave her a reassuring smile, but her eyes remained dark.

"We didn't get to talk before; I can't let you pay-"

"Kari, you really think I care about the money?"

"It's stupid, TK." She stared down at her hands. "I've got plenty of long-sleeved shirts at home." TK stiffened, pulling his arms away from her slight form.

"You're not going back there." His voice was serious all of a sudden.

"You can't-" she turned to face him, but his voice cut hers off.

"**You're not going back there**," he repeated, anger threatening to leak into his voice. "**I**," he tried to calm himselft. _She doesn't need to be yelled at,_ he reminded mentally. "I don't want you to get hurt. It was my fault I didn't get you any long-sleeved shirts, anyway." For a second he thought she would argue, but she remained silent, giving a small gesture he took as a nod. "And it happens that money isn't even an issue for this."

"Then what are you-?"

"I've got connections, Kari," he shot her a purposefully cocky grin, enjoying the reaction on her face. The tiny smile she tried to hide, the roll of her eyes, and the faint hint of pink on her cheeks. He was tempted to tease her again, until a full smile appeared on her face. But they should leave soon; he wasn't sure how long the drive would be. So he scooped her hand gently into his and tugged her gently from her chair. "C'mon, pretty girl," he grinned again, tucking her hair behind her ear before snatching his keys up from the counter.

* * *

Yolei was just shutting down her laptop when she heard footsteps on the hard tiled floors. She raised an eyebrow as the pair entered. TK's eyes were constantly on the small brunette beside him, as though he was afraid she was about to burst into tears. It was more than that though, she had expected the worry, but there was something else in his eyes – like he was on the edge of throwing his arms around her. His fingers were wound tightly with Kari's, and his right hand lay on her elbow, doubling his hold on her small frame.

Kari hardly seemed to notice any of this. Her small shoulders were barely perceivable beneath what was presumably TK's sweatshirt, the too-long orange sleeves pushed up to her wrists. He gaze drifted downwards naturally, her eyes darker than Yolei had remembered.

"Surprise," TK's voice sounded softly and Kari finally looked up, her chocolate eyes brightening vaguely as light was allowed to reflect off her face.

"Yolei?"

"Yeah," she gave Kari what she hoped was a gentle smile. "Been a while, huh?" She turned to TK, "Didn't you tell her?"

"We had kind of a rough morning." His eyes glanced towards Kari anxiously, and he moved his right hand to push her hair behind her ear. "I thought that it'd be easier to let you explain, if that's okay." He was keeping his voice light, but his concern was as clear as ever, even when absent from his words.

"No problem," she nodded, and then rolled her eyes as TK shot another worried look at Kari. "Goodness, TK, you'd think it was her first day of school, or that she was going for surgery or something. 'Don't you worry Mr. Takaishi, your little girl will be just fine with me," she teased in a deep voice.

Kari smiled, visibly lightening TK's mood. He chuckled, running his hand along Kari's arm reassuringly.

"Right, I should get to practice – You okay?" he checked with Kari, who nodded, appearing significantly more relaxed than when she had entered. "Thank you again," he told Yolei, before leaning down and kissing her jokingly on the cheek. "Mwah," he grinned, his hands remaining on Kari the entire time.

"Sure thing, Blondie." Yolei rolled her eyes. "But I wouldn't go bragging that last part around Ken."

"I won't," he laughed, the lightness in his voice real now, all set off by a single smile from Kari. "G'bye, pretty girl," he squeezed Kari's elbow lightly before letting his right hand fall. His left, however, seemed reluctant to loosen its grip, remaining twisted with hers even as he took a step away.

"Kari doesn't get a kiss?" Yolei raised an eyebrow when his eyes met hers again, challenged him. For a second his blue eyes clouded, but he blinked, and his slightly cocky confidence returned.

"Of course she does, if she wants one." He pulled her over a few steps away, just out of earshot, and he leaned down, his left hand tugging her close so that his forehead rested against hers. Kari whispered something, her brown eyes turning slightly darker again. TK's voice was slightly louder, Yolei made out an "okay?" near the end of his sentence. Kari nodded silently, and TK shifted, moving his right hand towards her neck.

* * *

TK slid his hand lightly along the back of her neck, his heart quickening as he felt the softness of her skin. Perfect, smoother than he could have imagined, creamy beneath his fingers. _Stop,_ he snapped harshly at himself. What did he think he was doing, thinking about something like that? Even if her hair did tickle the back of his hand, even if it would be nice to… He swallowed forcibly, closing his eyes. _It's the same as Yolei. It __**should**__ be the same as Yolei,_ he corrected mentally. But it wasn't. It was different. And- _No,_ the more reasonable part of him spoke strongly. _No._ This was stupid, it was Kari, for heaven's sake.

_I'm worried, and angry, and I'm getting confused, _he tried to reason._ She's my best friend, and I feel terrible for leaving, and it just so happens that she's the most beautiful- Stop, even if it's true, just stop._ Memories suddenly flooded him, and he relaxed slightly. That was it. This was all just too familiar. But he was not leaving her this time, just going to basketball practice. He would be back as soon as he could be, a few hours at the most. And he could take her home, put in a movie, and forget. Forget everything and help her to forget, too.

* * *

_TK knocked hurriedly on the apartment door, running a hand through his hair. Tai answered a few seconds later, his spiky brown hair messier than usual, like he had just woken up._

"_Is Kari here?" He didn't want to do this; he just wanted it all to go away, for someone to jump out, yell "April Fools", and tell him this wasn't really happening. But it wasn't April 1__st__._

"_Yeah, listen, we need to talk about you keeping her up so late-" Kari's clear voice suddenly broke through._

"_Says the guy who woke up about two minutes ago. Lay off, Tai, it's summer vacation." She smiled, still running a brush through her hair. "What's going on?"_

"_I-I just needed to talk to you, you up for a walk?" Tai crossed his arms, leaning against the doorframe with a look that clearly stated: "You can talk fine __**here**__"._

"'_Course I am. Tai, would you go and get some orange juice or something? Like TK's bothering anyone." She slid on a pair of flip-flops and stepped quickly through the door. TK slid his hand around hers the second Tai dissappeared and pulled his iPod from his pocket, handing her a headphone as they exited the building. She didn't seem to notice his hand, as odd as it was, her eyes closing and her head leaning back in the June sun. He hit play, his stomach turning at the up-beat song that played. How on earth was he supposed to tell her?_

"_Kari," he began a few minutes later, but the song changed, and her face lit with a smile._

"_I love this one!" Her voice sung softly with the words. Her hand tugged on his, "Don't make me sing alone!" His heart softened suddenly, how could he be upset when she kept smiling like that? He sang along with her then, continuing even as they passed others along the sidewalk, and bursting into laughter as the song ended. If only it could last._

"_Kari, listen," he began as they turned onto an empty sidewalk. The empty sidewalk his mom was probably leaving for right then._

"_Hm?" She turned to him, chocolate eyes unconcerned._

"_The- the move," he began._

"_Relax about the move, already, TK. You're gonna depress me." She elbowed his side lightly. "It's not __**that**__ far; we can still see each other on weekends. Besides, it's not for two weeks." He looked down at her, searched her deep brown eyes. He couldn't go through with it; it had to be a mistake. "TK, is there something-?"_

"_My mom got a call from that other company last night. They-they're offering her a lot more than the first place."_

"_But they're right downtown, right?" she brightened. "So you're not-"_

"_They-want-her-at-another-branch," he said it quickly, in a single breath. "She, she can't turn an offer like that down; sh-she's doing her best," he tried to convince himself it was true._

"_How far?" He could hardly hear her; he stared at the sidewalk, unwilling to meet her eyes._

"_It's a seven or eight hour drive. At least," he swallowed._

"_W-We still, it's not for two weeks, TK, we'll figure something out," she stammered and he closed his eyes; he just had to say it, get it all out before things could get any worse._

"_They want her there by Monday or Tuesday; we're leaving today."_

_There was a silence from his side, and then a small, teary breath. "It's not, it's not fair." He pulled her quickly into a hug, pressed her face into his shirt as the tears started; he couldn't bear to watch her cry. "And-And now I sound like some- stupid- spoiled- brat, crying over- your mom deserves- It's selfish to want you to stay." Her voice was clogged with tears._

"_I'm sorry, Kari. I- I came over as soon as she told me; I'm sorry. And it's not selfish, alright? Or, or we're both selfish, then, because I don't want to go, I don't want-" He heard a car engine humming steadily behind him – she was here._

"_You-You're mom," Kari choked, pushing away._

"_She can wait." He snatched up the hand pushing against his chest._

"_TK," she shook her head in his shirt as he pressed her into him again._

"_I'm serious." He leaned closer, setting his chin on her head. "She can wait," he repeated, Kari's arms tightening around him, and her shoulders shaking violently with sobs. _

_Eventually the tears faded, though a piece of him wished she would continue crying; his mom would not make him leave until he made sure Kari would be okay ("okay" being a fairly relative term)._

_She eased out of the hug slowly, "Y-You're still going to write?"_

"_Mhm."_

"_And you'll call me as soon as you get there?"_

"_Of course I will." He took her hand again._

"_I'm gonna miss you."_

"_I already miss you." She took a shaky breath in response, closing her eyes._

"_G-Goodbye," she choked slightly as tears sprung from her eyes again. TK followed a sudden impulse, sliding his hand around the back of her neck and pulling her close. He leaned forward, feeling his hand shake as his lips pressed to her forehead, just below her hairline, the tears he had worked so hard to hold back burning at his eyes now._

"_G-Goodbye, pretty girl."_

* * *

"Goodbye, pretty girl."

* * *

_Okay, well hopefully that wasn't TOO terrible. But I don't usually like reading my stuff, so I don't know... Thank you for reading that monstrosity (well, as far as my chapters go, anyway) of a chapter--- please review! -love_

_ps- I watched Ponyo last night! So cute!_


	12. Chapter 12

_So this is a shorter chapter than the last two, despite the fact that it took me forever, but it's a little bit lighter, too. Enjoy! (and review! :D )_

* * *

Chapter 12

* * *

Kari watched his hand draw back from the door handle. "You know, I don't, I don't have leave." TK turned back to face her, his blue eyes searching hers. She glanced down, still unaccustomed to the way he stared straight in her eyes whenever they spoke. She was fine with being ignored, comfortable in being overlooked. "It's not that important. I mean, I could stay, if you need me to." His hand ran through his hair, and she caught sight of his eyes briefly, a pained worry as clear as the blue. _He's upset._

She should have kept herself from crying before. She should have let him touch her before, when he saw the bruise. She would have, too, she had only drawn back out of instinct. _And now he's worried. Idiot girl._

"She'll be fine, Blondie," Yolei's voice came from behind her, but TK's blue eyes remained on her, waiting for an answer.

"Go ahead and take a break, TK. You've spent all day worrying about me. I'm fine," she added. "I promise." He studied her for another second before giving in, reminding her that his cell phone was on before disappearing through the door.

"Overprotective, much?" Yolei spoke from her side now, and guilt sent a pang through Kari's chest.

"I shouldn't've, he should be able to relax," she murmured.

"And an overactive conscience," Yolei rolled her eyes and sighed, and then spoke again, softer, "He's fine, Kari, and I'm not just saying that. Things are gonna be rough for a while, and he knows that, but they'll get better, eventually.

"You ready for the tour?" she asked when Kari remained quiet.

"Oh, um, sure," Kari stumbled, her mind still on TK and just how long 'a while' was. _He doesn't deserve to have to wait for 'eventually' for you to stop falling apart every other second._ "TK didn't explain what exactly's going on, something about clothes?"

"Okay, so Mimi – this door - " Yolei paused as she grabbed her laptop case and began to lead her through the large building. "Mimi started this fashion project senior year, right? And eventually Sora got involved and they started this magazine," Yolei shuffled through her bag before handing Kari a vaguely familiar magazine. "Which is pretty big now, for people who are into that stuff. Anyway, Mimi has me running computer networking and designing the website, which helps pay for college, and is the reason I'm here. And you're here because TK called me, and I told him to call Sora, and she called me again, and here you are." Kari looked at her, still confused, and Yolei continued, "We've got a bunch of extra clothes and samples and stuff that we don't need, and here you are rather clothing-less and ready to declutter the store room," she finished and pushed her glasses on the bridge of her nose. Same old Yolei.

"So I'm your vacuum cleaner?" Kari smiled.

"And TK thought you'd be **upset**," Yolei grinned back. "Oh, and just to get the last bit of awkwardness out of way," her voice was softer than normal, "this means that Sora and I, and probably Mimi by now, all know what's going on, just so you know."

"And Ken, apparently?" Kari gave a small smirk, unsurprised by the news; she had already expected the news to spread through the digidestined.

"Actually I didn't get a chance to talk to him yet, is it okay for me to…?"

"The whole thing's really not a big deal, I mean, keep it quiet, but it's one less person for me to tell."

"You do know I'd be telling you that it **most definitely is a big deal**," she glared, "but I figure TK's already been hammering that into your head, so I guess I can leave it to a 'Listen to Blondie'. And an apology-"

"Please don't apologize, TK's got you covered, all right? 'Hammering' is a good word," Kari sighed, but she smiled. It was nice to be with another friend, she realized, to be with someone who was not concerned with whether or not she was about to start crying for the third time that day. Not that she didn't miss TK. Or that she didn't wish that he was there, holding her hand again. Or that she didn't glance at the clock in the hallway every few minutes, calculating the time it would take for him to finish practice, take a shower, and drive back to pick her up. As much as she enjoyed being with Yolei, she hid a lot more when she was around her. Not to mention the tremendous number of mirrors involved in trying on clothes, which nearly drove her to tears several times when Yolei's back was turned, or when she was alone in the bathroom that they were using for a makeshift dressing room.

"Just a couple more," Yolei promised after several hours. "I like them, by the way," she nodded approvingly to the baby blue jeans and button-down sweater Kari wore.

"I really just needed a couple of long-sleeved-"

"This one," Yolei ignored her, stuffing a hanger into her fingers. Kari looked down.

"Yolei, when am I going to use a dress?" Yolei had handled the bruises much better than TK, perhaps because of the warning she had had. But that did not mean that Kari could go waltzing around in a sleeveless dress that, knowing fashion magazines, would be entirely too short normally, let alone with-

"Just try it on; those bruises won't be there forever, you know." Yolei began to shift a stack of clothes into a bunch of empty shopping bags. "TK will like it, anyway," she smirked.

"TK doesn't care what I wear," Kari's eyebrows furrowed, _did he? He could be embarrassed, sitting next to her, when the rest of the girls near him wore designer clothes._

"He will now," Yolei gave her a knowing look, but knowing **what**, Kari was unsure. "Please, Kari, like I can't see that there's something going on with you two." Kari nearly dropped the dress she was holding.

"Yolei, it's not like that." She couldn't possibly think that TK could-? But that was ridiculous, as if he would even care, even if she were pretty, even if she wasn't hurting him by being here. _But you **aren't**, and you **are**._

"Like he wasn't holding your hands the entire time he was here, like he didn't kiss you goodbye, 'pretty girl'." She drew quotes in the air with her fingers, but Kari refused to react.

"He's just being nice, h-he kissed you goodbye, too," she spoke quietly.

"You know that's not-"

"It's not even like I'd be good enough for him…" she whispered to hide the emotion in her voice, and immediately regretted speaking.

"Kari,"

"N-Nevermind, I'll, I'll try it on, okay?" She retreated into the bathroom quickly, before her tears could escape in front of Yolei. It took quite a few extra minutes to calm herself enough to hide the red around her eyes. She slid into the dress before rinsing and drying her face one more time. She glanced in the mirror and cringed as she unlocked the door. _Well, the __**dress**__ is nice, if only __**you**__- _She opened the door. "TK," she gasped and hid quickly behind the door. He could have seen her legs, as if he wasn't beating himself up enough over her arms.

"You're not gonna let me see, pretty girl?" He sounded better, she realized, more relaxed. _Because he was away from you._

"Y-You wouldn't like it, TK; I should stick to long-sleeves and jeans for a while longer."

"Oh, okay," TK's voice was gentle, she could imagine him leaning his fore head against the door frame, trying to coax her out. "How about one of these?" Kari opened the door a few inches; his face was just where she had pictured it. "Hey there," he greeted softly, and heat rush to her face.

"Hey," she smiled slightly.

"Just one?" TK asked, holding out a shopping bag. She bit her lip and caught him grinning.

"What?"

"You're cute, pretty girl, that's what," he smiled. "One?"

"Fine," she mumbled.

"Wait!" Yolei stuck her hand between them, holding a jumble of fabric and jeans. "Try this one."

Kari accepted the clothes and shut the door again, changing quickly.

"This isn't long-"

"So wait a couple weeks, or wear a jacket," Yolei spoke impatiently over her.

Kari stepped out tentatively, fiddling with the edge of the flowing grey tank top and staring down at the dark jeans. For a few moments it was quiet, and she nearly retreated into the bathroom again.

"Do they all look that good, pretty girl?" TK asked softly, reaching for her hand. "You're gonna give me quite a job tomorrow; I'll be beating guys back with my history book." She watched his warm hand massage her fingers as he spoke.

"I would have told you to stay at practice if I'd known you were just going to make fun of me."

"I'm not making fun of you, Kari! You look really nice," he added gently and gave an irritated breath when she rolled her eyes, but a smile remained on his face, and he pulled her into a hug. "C'mon, we need to get some food in there, pretty girl." He released her and poked the side of her waist teasingly, and Kari smiled before shutting the door, changing quickly into a plain white v-neck t-shirt and pulling on TK's baggy orange sweatshirt.

* * *

_Ah, so something I forgot to say last time: I feel kind of terrible about making Tai such a jerk. I actually really love that character despite all of the jerkishness and "TK-hate" that I put in the past couple of chapters.  
Also, 4th quarter my classes switched again, so I've got more homework now, and I'm on stage crew this year, which makes things difficult. I'm going to keep going, of course, but I just wanted to let you know if there are gaps in posting. I'll do my best though!  
That's all I think (although there was a visiting Japanese student at school today, and his name was Daisuke. no joke. win.)  
As always, please review!  
-love_


	13. Chapter 13

Hello! I'm sorta kinda absolutely exhausted right now. Bio test on the same day as the run-laps-for-money-for-school-thing? Not cool. I had my first stage crew meeting-practice-thing on Tuesday, so hopefully that won't take up to much time. Anywho, go ahead and read!

* * *

Chapter 13

* * *

"Good morning, pretty girl." TK smiled at Kari, yawning in the doorway, and she smiled back, as ridiculously adorable as ever.

"G'morning," she replied sleepily, taking a few steps quietly into the kitchen.

"You feeling better?" He did his best not to sound worried, but he found his hand sliding unconsciously around hers.

"Yeah. You know that wasn't your fault," she added the last part quickly, and he knew he hadn't hidden the worry well enough. Kari had spent the first half of Sunday sick to her stomach, most likely, they learned after TK finally made an anxious call to Joe, caused by the sudden change in diet and extra stress ("Yeah, 'cause she wasn't under any stress before," Matt had scoffed in an attempt to make TK feel slightly less terrible.).

"I still feel bad." He ran the fingers of his free hand through her hair gently. "But yeah," he nodded, "I know. Are you hungry then, or…"

"I could have a banana or something I guess."

"You're hungry, though? I don't want to make you sick if you're not. Joe said-"

"Relax, TK." She looked up at him, and he obeyed, taking a theatrically deep breath in and out and grinning. She gave a small smile back, rolling her eyes, and he turned to grab a banana and a paper Starbucks mug from the counter behind him.

"I ran out for coffee this morning; you like hot chocolate, right?" Her eyes darkened in response. "You don't?"

"No, I, I like hot chocolate, I just, you could've just made it here."

"Yeah…" he began slowly, "but I didn't. I wanted Starbucks, and I thought you might like something, too."

"TK, you shouldn't have-"

"What? I can't buy you one drink?" he asked, frustrated.

"I don't need it." Her voice was softening, fading with each word.

"Would you get off the 'need' thing? I know you don't **need** hot chocolate. You don't have to worry about what you need anymore. It's not just me, either; Matt and I, we've got it covered, all right? And we want you to have the things you **want**, too. Not just the things you need. I know you're not used to it, but that's what I want, what Matt and I both want."

"I-I know, I appreciate that, TK, not having to worry about when-" Her voice failed, and she swallowed, blinking frantically. "N-Never mind. I just, I can't give you anything back, you know? And you've given me everything already this weekend."

"I don't **want** anything, Kari." _You phrased that wrong,_ he thought. He **wanted** to keep holding her hand, and he **wanted** to wrap his arms around her when she cried, maybe even when she wasn't crying, and maybe he wanted her to fall asleep in his arms again that night, because she was so small and so fragile, and he couldn't help but want to hold her against his chest until she stopped hurting.

Kari took her breakfast from him quietly, not appearing at all changed in opinion. "Hey," he tilted face up slightly and brushed away the few tears she had been trying to hide. "Relax, pretty girl." She smiled and gave her own overly dramatic deep breath in and out. "That's better," he smiled and hugged her, carefully avoiding the items in her hands. "I put your lunch in your backpack; d'you need anything else?" She shook her head 'no' while taking a sip of her hot chocolate. "All right, c'mon then, pretty girl." He grabbed his backpack and gym bag before laying a hand comfortingly on her shoulder, stopping her before she reached the door.

"I meant that, you know," he spoke, his voice low. "There's nothing I want back. I just want you to be happy, and safe, and-" he fell silent, "I mean, that's not to say, you **do** give me, so much, Kari; you just don't realize it. And you could completely, I mean, I'm not giving you this stuff so you'll return some favor, but that doesn't mean you're not giving me… a lot more than what I could ever deserve."

* * *

"My camera!" Kari exclaimed suddenly, "I forgot. I'll catch up; you go ahead." She was gone before TK could stop her, already back at the door to the apartment building. He sighed and slowed his pace; she could have at least let him take her bag. What if she lost balance on the stairs? They were always wet in the morning. Maybe he should go back. Besides, anything could make her fall apart lately, and if she had to go through that, it would be better to have him there, right? A spiky brown head appeared from around the corner, distracted him just before he turned around. Davis.

"Hey, TQ!" Davis grinned, and TK rolled his eyes.

"I thought you were done with that."

"Kari's back, TP, can't blame me for being in the mood for bringing back some old traditions." Davis fell in at his side, synchronizing with TK's slow steps. "Why are we walking so slow?" He glanced over his shoulder. "We meeting someone?"

"Mm, yeah… No one talked to you this weekend?" TK had hoped that he wouldn't have to explain it all again.

"About?"

"Kari, she, I mean," he ran a hand through her hair nervously. "When was the last time you were at her house?"

"At her house? I guess, probably the beginning of ninth grade, her birthday after her dad died? We didn't have any classes together, so things just… I don't know…"

"You never met her stepfather, then?"

"I didn't know-"

"And she didn't tell you her mom died?"

"Her mom?" TK nodded in response. "Jeez, I didn't… You met her stepfather, then?"

"You could say that."

"And?"

"He, " he stared at the ground as he spoke. "He was hurting her." TK willed himself not to think about it too hard, to tell the story without really remembering any of it. He couldn't stand living through that again; it was hard enough as it was.

"He what?" Davis stopped suddenly.

"H-He hit her, and he, when I went over, he yelled at her, and he ki- he hurt her." Davis was silent; TK heard him swallow. "So she's staying at Matt's now. He's got that extra room. That's where I've been all weekend, making sure she's okay and everything. She ran back for her camera, but she'll be back in a minute. J-Just be careful; she's sort of sensitive, you know? Really," he swallowed now, "really hard on herself."

"Are you okay?" He stiffened at the question, his mood changing gears rapidly.

"Why is it," he knew it wasn't Davis fault, but he did nothing to stop the anger in his voice, "that every person I told asked if **I **was okay? This isn't about **me**! Was he hitting **me**? Was he telling **me** that **I'm** worthless? Am **I** the one tearing myself apart with completely senseless guilt and some ridiculous lies that don't even make any sense? Am **I **the one who spends half my time crying anymore? For no reason, just because I feel bad for, for **existing**?" he choked and slammed the side of his fist into the stop sign on the corner, angry at himself for falling apart. "I hate watching her like that, tearing herself apart for no reason at all, and then, then she just **cries**, like she's totally, completely **hopeless**." Desperation leaked into his voice; why did she have to feel that way? It wasn't fair. Not after everything else she went through.

"She's not **hopeless**, TK, I can tell you that much."

"You haven't seen her, Davis."

"She's got you there, doesn't she? I can promise you, TK, she can't be hopeless with you there. You'd, I mean, you'd do anything for her. And if there's anyone who could have you there, ready to do that, and still feel **hopeless**, I'd love to meet them."

"Was that actually kind of… nice, Davis?" TK recovered quickly, smiling slightly.

"It happens," Davis shrugged, and started walking, cheered as quickly as ever. "But, I mean, you like her, right?" TK looked over at him as they crossed the street, confused.

"She's my best friend, 'course I like her."

"No, I mean, you **like** her."

"She's my best friend, Davis." TK hardened, trying to the end the conversation.

"But you like her." Davis grinned.

"She needs a friend right now, Davis, and as little drama as possible."

"But you do like her?"

"I'm telling you it doesn't matter, okay? She's been through enough as it is, and it'd be selfish for me to want anything more than my best friend. It's selfish to think that I deserve **that**. This isn't about me."

"You **really** like her, then."

"Would you **really** shut up?" TK snapped.

"You wouldn't mind if I asked her out, then?" Davis raised his eyebrows and smirked, making it perfectly plain that he was doing this to irritate him.

"You keep your hands to yourself, or I swear-"

"Goodness, TK, I'm just talking about coffee, or a movie or something. I mean, if you like her, I'd ease off of course, but…"

"I'm serious, Davis, you stay away from her, all right?"

"What," Davis' eyes darkened slightly, "you think I'm going to hurt her?"

"Of course not, but as you're only doing this to get a rise out of me-" He heard footsteps behind him, and he turned automatically. "Kari," he smiled, and she gave a small smile back, hurrying to catch up with him.

"It's working, though, isn't it?" Davis finished, but TK was suddenly a lot less worried; she was smiling, what was there to worry about?

"Sorry, I forgot to unplug the charger, and the cord took a while to pack up." Even there, her voice was the opposite of Davis': soft and quiet, relaxing him. He could almost feel her in his arms, almost hear her forming soft, gentle words that bounced off his neck, made him pull her closer into his chest, keeping her safe from the world, the world that had torn her life apart. He blinked, reminding himself that wasn't always what she needed, as much as he wished it was.

"No problem. Here, let me." He pulled the camera bag from her small frame and shouldered it easily.

"It was fine, TK." He shrugged in response, scooping her soft, cool hand safely into his.

"Good morning, Kari," Davis leaned around TK as he greeted her.

"Hi," Kari gave a shy smile as TK shot a warning glance at Davis. It didn't work.

"So you think you could go see a movie Friday?"

"Of course we can," TK broke in meeting Davis' eyes quickly before dropping his gaze to the small girl at his side. "If you want to, pretty girl."

"That's fine," she murmured; he had forgotten how exhausted she was, and he pulled her closer, so her head leaned against his shoulder. "I hate Mondays," she whispered sleepily. His thumb traced small circles on her hand and he found himself thinking that **this** Monday, anyway, wasn't starting off too badly.

* * *

Done! Hm... hope that was all right. As always: review! -love.


	14. Chapter 14

So I went home sick during stage crew practice yesterday: good for you, not so good for the musical NEXT WEEK. Oh dear. But I am feeling better, so that's good. Anyway, new chapter! Onwards!

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**Chapter 14**

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Kari closed her eyes at a soft whistle behind her. _Ignore them. They don't really care. You're not worth the trouble. _She regretted leaving for lunch early now; she could hear footsteps behind her; they were coming closer.

"Heeyy, there she is!" She tried to pull the last book from her backpack, but her fingers slipped on the binding. _Stupid girl. Just put it away and leave!_

"Doesn't seem much like Takaishi's type, does she?" She winced at the sound of a second voice. Quickly stuffing the backpack into her locker, she grabbed her lunch and turned to leave.

"Awfully shy, you talk, baby?" The boys were closer than she had thought. Two large figures stood before her, the taller had dark hair that fell in his eyes, the shorter (though still much larger than Kari) boy's a much shorter dark brown. She had taken only a half a step when the dark haired one laid a hand on her arm.

"Don't-" she managed, shrinking back slightly.

"Relax, baby." He took a few steps forward, backing her into the corner between the wall and the line of lockers. His head turned for a second to grin back at the other boy, but it was not the friendly, gentle smile TK gave her. "I'm not so different from Takaishi." There was still that dark grin on his lips as he leaned down close, and she flattened herself as best she could against the wall; she could feel her hands beginning to shake. "Most of the classrooms are empty over lunch; we could slip in and try taking off a few of those nice new clothes Takaishi bought you. Who knows, maybe I could buy you some jewelry to match." She was really shaking now, under the feeling of his breath on her face, entirely to close. A hand slid onto her waist, and she tried to push it away, but his hand continued forward as though hers was not there. His fingers pressed into her ribs, sending a sickening shock of pain through her side.

She choked out short cry of pain and felt the shaking worsen. _What if he isn't just making fun of you like the others? What if he's serious?_

"Takaishi's awfully rough with his girls, huh?" His hand reached toward her face, and she closed her eyes tight.

"**You get your hands the hell away from her!**" Tears flooded her eyes and she tried to hold them back. TK.

"What, you can't share, Takaishi?" The rough hand fell from her side, but he kept her trapped in the corner.

"My brother's got an apartment around here; we only wanted to borrow her for a couple of nights," the other boy cut in; she could hear the grin in his voice.

"Get away from her," TK's voice sounded again; she could hear the rage building quietly behind his words.

"I'd be nicer about it, too, Takaishi. The girl's pretty banged up from a couple of nights with you." Suddenly the boy was gone; she was no longer trapped. There was a bang from her left and she saw the boy slam into the lockers, TK's hand knotted with the collar of his shirt. The familiar blue eyes burning angrily, his arm pulled back, his hand forming a fist. _No,_ she thought. _You're not worth getting him in trouble._

"TK, don't!" She pushed between them, and, TK shot her a suprisingly pained look.

"Kari-"

"See that? She likes me, Takaishi." His hands crept back over her waist, and she trembled, squeezing her eyes closed. A few tears leaked from her eyes, and she felt even worse. _You know how much he hates that, watching you cry! _But that was all she wanted when she cried. Not what she deserved, but definitely what she wanted. His warm arms, his strong chest, his gentle voice that made it all go away.

There was a sudden yank from her left; TK released his hold on the boy immediately, pulling her into his arms as quickly as possible. There was an odd cracking noise from behind her, a fist as it connected with the boy's jaw, and Davis' voice rang out suddenly, "And you can bet if you try that again that TK will hit you a hell of a lot harder than me."

"You're okay?" TK asked. Footsteps sounded, fading down the hall, but the blonde boy was frantically pushing the hair back out of her face, touching her face and her arms as though to make sure she was not about to disappear. "What did you think you were doing? This wasn't just some girls teasing you, Kari! This was real. I can't even think about what-" Kari heard him stop, but she was still focused on trying (rather unsuccessfully) to keep the tears back. His arms closed around her, pulling her closer gently. "Thanks." For a second she was unsure as to whom he was speaking, but Davis' voice sounded again.

"My pleasure." His voice was dark; she felt his hand touch her shoulder very lightly. "You okay?" he asked. Kari pulled back from TK slightly, her mind begging her to remain in his arms.

"Y-Yeah, I sh-should go-" She did her best to mask the emotions that stung through her, but TK's arms only tightened.

"You should stay with me." She could still hear the soft echo of anger in his voice and fought the tears as best she could.

"I don't want-"

"I'm not going to let you-"

"I don't want the rest of the school watching me cry!" Her voice cracked, and TK was silent for a second. She could hear the first wave of students beginning to emerge from their classes.

"I'm sorry; really, pretty girl, I'm just worried, and I'm sorry." He tilted her face up to meet her eyes, and she could see the guilt in his.

She nodded, "It's okay."

"C'mon," he whispered, taking her hand gently. "I'll see you later," he nodded to Davis, who nodded back before turning to walk towards the cafeteria. His hand tugged softly on hers and she followed him silently. In the empty hallway leading away from the flow of students, his free hand reached up to rub her arm slowly.

"You can go to lunch, you know," she whispered. "I'll be fine; I'll just go over to the other bathrooms, they're empty during-" He opened a door and led her into a small, unused classroom, consisting of little more than a dozen or so desks and chairs and an old, empty chalkboard.

"C'mere," he whispered, but it was more of a request, like she was the one who would be doing something to comfort him, not the other way around.

"You should relax, go hang out with your friends."

"Please, Kari?" She didn't understand why he was asking her, like she was worth that much, that it would be some kind of **honor** to hold her while she was falling apart like this. She took a step forward and wrapped her arms lightly around his back, her whole body shaking with the effort to hold back tears. His arms encompassed her easily, one hand on her shoulder, the other on her waist. "It's okay, pretty girl. It's me. You can cry." She shook her head in his chest. _No, you can't. You can't keep hurting him like that._

"It makes you upset. You don't like it when I-" She could no longer speak, her throat so tight it hurt.

"I told you before, Kari. I don't like that you have a **reason** to cry, but you do. You don't have to do everything, Kari, you can't. And I can't even **think** about you crying alone in some corner of a bathroom, not when I'm right here. I **wasn't** here, for a long time, I know that, and, and I'm sorry." His voice weakened strangely, pain echoing even more strongly in his eyes. "But, but I am now, and there's no reason for you to be alone, especially not when you're hurting." The soft words shook her, and she choked on the tears in her throat. "It's okay," he encouraged, and she finally released the emotion, letting the tears flood past her eyes and pressing her face into his shirt. His arms tightened around her, pushing her further into him. His nose came to rest in her hair; she could feel his chest expand and contract with each breath in and out. "It's okay; It's gonna be all right," he whispered, rubbing her back slowly with his warm hand. He was so warm. She squeezed her eyes shut while she cried, focusing on him, his warmth, trying to shut out the world.

"I'm sorry about the rumors," he added. "I don't know who would've-"

"One of the girls, I don't remember which." It was true; the group of girls was a blur of pretty faces and designer clothes that spent its time making snide remarks about Kari's suddenly improved wardrobe. She was sure they were not all that way, but the louder ones were, and the quiet ones held no sway over the monarchy that was the popular, designer-backpack-crowd.

"How do you know-?"

"Something one of them said to me." TK moved, setting his chin on her head so she could press her face more easily into him.

"What did they say to you?"

"S-Same stuff everyone's been saying, maybe a little bit more. I honestly can't remember, TK."

"The rumors will go away, Kari. Everyone knows those girls make this kind of stuff up all the time. Davis and Ken have been telling people off all day."

Kari panicked, "Davis didn't hit anyone else-"

"**Davis** didn't," he said shortly.

"TK, you-" she choked.

"Don't worry about it," he assured her, but she heard a muttered "had it coming", and guilt surged through her.

"TK, you can't go losing all your friends over me! I'm not, not all that, okay?"

"I don't want **friends**," his voice rose, "who would do that to someone, who think that **I** would do that to someone! I can't even **think** about something like that! And they have no right to talk about you that way! No one does!"

"They're just showing off, TK, seeing how far they can push the rules. It's fine."

"**No, it's not!**" He clutched her against him, gripping her shoulders in his strong hands. "These kids- they spend their lives waiting for an opportunity to tear someone down! Just for something interesting to talk about, for something to laugh over! This isn't a joke! This is someone's life! **Your** life. **My** life."

"Not everyone's like that, TK."

"Oh really?" he snapped, raising his voice again. "Can you name one kid who bothered to ask why you never ate at lunch? Why you sat alone everyday? Why you look," he swallowed, but his voice still broke when he spoke again, "terrified whenever anyone near you raises their voice? I-Including me, and yet I don't- I get frustrated, or angry, and I yell. And it doesn't matter that I'm not yelling at you, you just- And I'm **still** yelling."

"I'm sorry."

"Please d-don't apologize." His voice was soft again, pain clear in each word. His face pressed into her hair. "I just, I hate seeing anything hurt you… e-especially when it's me. I'm sorry." Was he really blaming himself again? As if she wasn't ruining his life, that's what he said: "My life". And those rumors were her fault.

"Don't be sorry for getting angry, TK. I mean, even if I don't think you should be, it's, it's nice that someone gets upset when, I mean, no one ever really cared before you-" she choked on the tears that flooded her eyes again.

His hands rubbed her back gently, his voice soft in her ear, "Did they hurt you?" He changed the subject, but she no longer cared. She just wanted him closer, just wanted to close her eyes and feel the warmth of his arms, just wanted curl up against him on Matt's couch and cry until she fell asleep.

"Not really. M-My side's a little sore." His hand moved to her waist and he touched her side very lightly.

"There?" he asked, his voice low.

"Mhm," she nodded, wondering why it felt so different when he touched her, why anyone else's hand terrified her, but his only sent gentle warmth through her body, comforted her.

"He's not ever going to-"

"I know," she whispered, "I know."

"Good." He pressed his face into her hair again. "You don't have to be afraid, Kari, I won't let anything bad happen to you, I promise. And I'm not gonna leave you again, not ever." Kari pulled herself closer against him, and his arms closed snuggly around her in response, his breath tickling her ear as he held her. "Not ever," he repeated. She closed her eyes, and she believed him. In a few hours that might change, maybe even in a few minutes, but in that moment she was no longer afraid; she was safe; she was with him.

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I actually had this sitting around since like Sunday, but I didn't have time to type it up until today. Like I said earlier, the musical is next week (which is kind of terrifying on a number of levels), so I doubt I'll be able to put anything up until at least the week after, but I am still writing, and I have the first draft of the next section done, it's just the matter of rewriting (which I can do pretty much anywhere) and getting it all typed up and uploaded (which is more difficult). Anyway, hope you enjoyed and hope you review! -love


	15. Chapter 15

So I'm pretty excited that I'm actually uploading this, because, even though it's short, I didn't think I'd get anything up what with stage crew craziness and all that. But stage crew is done! I can continue to harbor, however, under the excuse that I have finals coming up- which, I would argue, is fairly valid. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

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**Chapter 15**

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He still couldn't understand how quickly everything could change with her, one second she was laughing like nothing had happened, the next she was sobbing her heart out like they were sitting in his car outside her apartment all over again. He felt like he was stuck in a never-ending game of tug-of-war, every two steps he worked so hard for could be undone with a sharp yank from the other direction, and Kari was stuck in the middle, slowly being torn apart. He knew that analogy wasn't quite right, that his two steps were still a few centimeters more than the jerks back, and that it hadn't even been a week yet, what did he expect? But that didn't stop her from hurting.

"Can you tell me what's wrong?" TK rubbed her shoulder, and she shook her head 'no'. _You used to be able to tell when she was upset, before she was crying. _That was part of what made it even worse, that he could never tell when she was really hurting. All the details he used to read on her face, the signs that told him she was upset, were there all the time now, even when she tried her best to hide them.

"I can j-just g-go t-to the other room" She tried to pull from his lap as she spoke, but he tightened his arm on her waist immediately, forcing her to lean the side of her head on his chest. She didn't fight him anymore, but her body curled into him slightly, her shoulders shaking violently with her tears.

"You don't want to tell me?" he suggested, trying not sound like it hurt, but her head shook again, more frantically.

"N-No, I just d-don't know. It's everything put together, and it's n-nothing. I… I don't, d-don't know."

"Is there something I can do? I mean, is there anything I can give-?" Her nose bumped against his chest when she once again shook her head, and pain stabbed through his chest as a few tears fell on his arm. "Please, Kari, give me something, anything. I can't do nothing when you're-" He swallowed forcefully, massaged her left elbow, tucked into his hand. _So small._ It killed him to feel how tiny she was; she had always been small, but the two years of undernourishment and constant pressure from her stepfather had left her much too far underweight. TK was tall, of course, and endless basketball camps and practices meant he was better muscled than most, but she fit so easily against him; it almost made him afraid to hold her too tightly, like she might break in his arms. How could anyone hurt something this small, this fragile?

"No, TK, it's not- You do everything. It's just that everything is better now, and sometimes it hits me really hard, how different it is. That's what makes everything else harder, l-like culture shock or something." She gave something between a laugh and a sob then, and he caught sight of red, watery eyes that burned pain straight through him. "And it's good, TK, y-you aren't doing anything wrong at, at all; it's the opposite. But I don't know what to do anymore, it's just really, really different." He felt hot tears soak through his shirt again and tightened his hold on her.

"Shh, it's okay; I'm right here," he whispered

"I'm sorry." She pressed her face into his shoulder, and he shifted his arms, so he could hold her more snugly against his body. "I-I can't even," she swallowed, "just a weak little-"

"Kari!" he broke across sharply, looking down at her. "Don't you ever- No one thinks that, not Me, or Matt, or Davis, or- Just no one, okay?" He exhaled sharply and ran a hand through his hair. "I could think of... a thousand words to describe you, pretty girl," he tucked her hair slowly behind her ear and let his fingers linger on the corner of her jaw for an extra second, closing his eyes when the feel of her face sent a tingling heat through his skin and an odd, twisting ache through his chest. "A-And not one of them would be 'weak'. You have to be the strongest girl I've ever met, Kari; you've gone through way too much, for anyone, and you're still so selfless and compassionate, to the point where... it's ridiculous. And you couldn't hurt anyone, not even all the people who've hurt you." _And that's why you're so frustrating,_ he thought, _because you're always making sure you get the shortest end of the stick._ "You're small and fragile because he hurt you, and that, that scares me sometimes, okay? But don't ever think that I- when I worry, that's totally different. And you have every right to be that, and more. But you've never, ever been weak, Kari."

I was a few more minutes before the tears stopped and her breathing slowed to a gentle in and out. His skin had that oddly tight, half-dried feeling where her tears had soaked through her shirt; she held a fold of the fabric loosely in her hand, her eyes closed, her face showing faint signs of pain every so often. "I have to read f-for Lit. tomorrow," she whispered, but made no movement to leave his arms for well over another five minutes. He noticed his fingers were woven with her other hand, although he couldn't remember exactly how it had happened.

A familiar, soft pain echoed through his arms when she finally eased from his hold, "You can read here," he suggested, desperate to keep her there. "I've got homework, too. You can try to help the stupid basketball player with his math work," he smiled, though he could feel the worry was not yet gone from his eyes.

"You're not stupid, TK." She looked over at him concernedly, like she hadn't just been crying. "You're in one of the other honors classes, aren't you?" She pulled his backpack to the other side of Matt's couch.

"Yeah, Kari, calm down; it was just a joke. I'm a little behind, is all."

"That's my-" She stared down at her hands when she sat beside him again, and he cut her off.

"It's my fault, Kari," he spoke firmly, "so don't even try that one, okay? I was falling behind before I even saw you." She nodded, and rubbed her still-faintly pink eye with her hand before opening her book. _Although,_ he admitted mentally as he pulled her close against his side, his arm around her waist, his hand brushing along her arm and pushing her hair behind her ear again, _you are pretty distracting._

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ralekIX: Yay for no bad-habit-bolding in this chapter!

I apologize for taking forever on some of these chapters (especially when they end up being really, really short), hopefully I'll be able to start updating more frequently again. As always, please review! -love


	16. Chapter 16

Summer vacation? :D

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Chapter 16

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Kari hit 'save' and shut down the window on Matt's computer. She couldn't focus on her paper, and it wasn't due until the following week anyway. She leaned back in Matt's black office chair and closed her eyes; it was strange for her to have so much trouble; schoolwork could usually take her mind off of things. _But everything's different. _She winced at the memories from yesterday, memories of falling to pieces on Matt's couch. _So stupid,_ she insulted herself harshly. _You can't even remember what made you upset._ It was true; she hadn't the faintest idea what had sent her into sobs, what had forced TK to spend the rest of his afternoon worrying.

That one incident could encompass the whole week. Her bursting into tears for no apparent reason, and TK rushing to her side trying to calm her, trying to make it all disappear. And he always succeeded, always made everything better. _So why do you keep crying?_

The sound of the door from the other end of the apartment startled her slightly, pulled her from her thoughts. She stood automatically, stepping from Matt's room to a few feet into the hall. "Hello?" she called quietly. The sound from the opposite side of the apartment was too loud to be just TK; she heard Davis' voice.

"Jeez, I didn't know you could get out so fast; the next time I need to get you anywhere I'll just make sure you know Kari'll be there first. Someone should tell the administrator. 'No more late slips for Mr. Takaishi.'" His voice imitated that of the High School Administrator. "'Not with **adorable**," he drew the word out dramatically "Miss Ka-' Ow!" Kari quickly reminded herself that wasn't true, that no one was rushing anywhere to see her, of all people.

"Give me a second," TK's voice spoke, and she heard quick steps grow closer until he rounded the corner. He didn't seem to expect her so close, and his hand caught on the doorway just in time to end his sprint, his body leaning over her. "Hey there, pretty girl," he smiled down at her, wet blonde hair falling in his eyes with his sudden stop.

"I didn't get to see you much today," he added, shifting onto the backs of his feet, "are you feeling any better?" 'Not seeing her much today' really only applied to the hour over lunch, when he had had a basketball meeting; that morning had been the same as the rest of the week: she awoke magically moved from his side on the couch to the futon in the makeshift bedroom and found TK waiting in the kitchen with breakfast and a (strangely extravagant) paper bag lunch from Matt.

"A-A little, I think." She looked down at her hands in an attempt to hide the lie.

"You want to talk about it?" he asked, seeing straight through her false front. His hand slid around hers, and his eyes flashed concernedly. _Stop worrying,_ she thought, but she gave in, knowing it would only be a matter of time, and took a step closer, leaning her forehead against his ever-warm chest. His arms slid around her gently and he called back to the other room, "You guys can get food or whatever; I'll be there in a few minutes." His arms guided her to her improvised bedroom, and he shut the door before pulling her into a closer hug. "Hey," he spoke soothingly when she remained silent, setting his chin on her head, "S'okay, pretty girl."

"I'm sorry I've been so," she closed her eyes for a second before continuing the quiet apology, "so clingy this week. Even now, I know how much you'd rather be with your friends."

"Clingy?" The change was immediate; she could hear the grin in his voice. "You think you've been clingy? And you feel that bad about it?" Kari pulled back and looked up at him.

"It's not funny, TK, you-" but TK cut her off, looking like he found it very funny indeed.

"Clingy, pretty girl?" he grinned the smile that hopelessly mesmerized all the other girls at lunch (and usually successfully lightened her mood), but it didn't relieve any of the guilt. "I'm sorry, Kari." He shook his head disbelievingly, a smile still on his face. "I'm just used to everything being so serious; I'm always trying to convince you things are okay even when I know they're not. I know I have no right- You haven't been clingy, all right? Believe it or not," his fingers ran through her hair and he smiled down at her again, "I really do like having you here."

"But that's-" Tears burned painfully at her eyes. "F-Fine, needy, than. You shouldn't have to spend all your time keeping me from crying. I shouldn't b-be," her voice trembled threateningly, "br-breaking down like that… like this," she pushed tears from her eyes with the side of her hand, frustrated.

"Kari," his face was serious now, his brow furrowed, "We've gone over this, pretty girl." He took her shoulders in his hands and leaned down so that he was at eye level with her, his blue eyes strong. Her eyes fluttered as his warm fingers brushed away her tears, and weak smiles tugged at the corners of both their lips. As her tears faded, she suddenly felt very tired and allowed him pull her close as he continued. 'You have every right to feel the way you do, to cry until there aren't any tears left, okay? And I want to be the one who's here for you. Right here," he pressed her into his chest for a second and began to rub her shoulder gently. "Doing this. Not just because I wasn't here, because I want to-"

"Don't do that," she murmured, and he paused.

"Do what?" She moved her head leaning it sideways against him.

"Don't blame yourself for leaving." She closed her eyes as his hand moved up and down her arm, letting his warmth calm her.

"It was my fault." Kari shook her head against him.

"No, it wasn't. It wasn't anyone's fault you had to leave. Not your's, not your mom's, no one's."

"I could've called; I could've tried harder to visit, I-"

"Just stop, TK, please?" She wanted to get upset, to make him believe her, but his arms were so warm and so gentle, made her feel so calm, her eyes drooped dangerously. "You're here, so be here. I believe you; I know you're not going to leave again."

"And I don't ever want to, Kari, can't even think about it. You can believe that, too," he added gently, and she was silent, still trying to work that one out. He sighed, and for a second it sounded as though he was about to say something else, but his arms loosened from around her, and he only ran his fingers through the ends of her hair. "You look exhausted, pretty girl," he murmured, "I've been keeping you up too late."

"I'm okay."

"You're a terrible liar, Kari," he tilted her face up to his, smiling slightly. "You know that, right?" His smile only grew when heat burned at her face. "It is kind of sweet, though. I'll give you that." His fingers trailed across her cheek and tucked her hair behind her ear, and the heat in her face increased. "It wouldn't kill you to wear a sweatshirt, though. I mean, even I'm kind of cold in here." His hand brushed against hers, and she realized how cold she must be if he felt that warm to her. "Mine's probably warmer, though. Maybe if you watched the game with us…" he smiled.

"You don't have to worry about me, TK. I can just read my book; I, I just have to grab it from the livingroom. It's not your job to keep me entertained." She was surprised to see the disappointment that flashed in his eyes.

"I wasn't worrying- I mean, I was, but I just… miss you."

"You can't make it a few hours without me, Mr. Basketball?" she mumbled at the ground.

"Apparently not," he smiled, catching her off guard. "Please, pretty girl? You can read; I just, I want you there. If having Davis and Ken there, I mean, I didn't really ask you. They don't have to watch the game here."

"I'm not going to kick your friends out."

"Our friends," he corrected, eyeing her carefully.

"Our friends," she repeated obediently. "I'm okay, TK, really… And I guess I could watch, if you're sure you want me there." A small smile formed on the corner of his mouth.

"I'm sure. C'mon, pretty girl." His hand scooped up hers, and he led her through the kitchen. "Here," he added, grabbing a sweatshirt from the counter and holding out for her. She slid her arms into it quietly, and he stepped in front of her to zip up the front. "You're sure you're okay?" he whispered, his blue eyes looking deep into hers as he pulled the zipper halfway up her waist.

"Mhm."

"You don't look sure." His hands held hers, his thumbs gently tracing circles on her wrists. "Can I do something?" She opened her mouth to say something but closed it again quickly. "What?" he asked, then whispered "You can ask for anything, Kari; you know that."

"It'll sound stupid." She blushed, looking down. "Getting laughed at isn't on my list of priorities right now." His brow furrowed again, and he leaned down, setting his forehead against hers.

"Try me," he whispered; his eyes were so sincere, so honestly gentle, so unable to hurt her...

"J-Just don't let go." His fingers wove with hers as she spoke, and he smiled slightly.

"You make it sound like I'm doing you a favor, pretty girl." His face leaned closer for a second, but something flashed in his eyes, and he sighed before pulling back and dropping her right hand. "C'mon, the game starts in two minutes... I'm not gonna let go," he added encouragingly, squeezing her hand gently and pulling her into the other room.

_He makes you selfish. He gives you too much, more than you deserve, spoils you._

She pretended not to hear the voice that sounded when he pulled her into his lap, pushed it from her head as best she could and enjoyed the evening: leaning against him and reading a few lines of her book before the three boys managed to distract her completely; it would be back soon enough.

* * *

No more finals (or school, for a couple months)! I was going to put this up yesterday (I even got it uploaded), but I decided to change some stuff around at the last second. So I hope it's okay. Anyway, please review! -love


	17. Chapter 17

I really didn't expect for this chapter to be so long, but it gives you a lot to read, so get started! (and review when you finish?) :D

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**Chapter 17**

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It was stupid to be jealous. TK knew that. He knew Davis was only trying to bother him, to get him to react enough to slip up and admit exactly how much it bothered him, and why. Letting jealousy take over would play right into his hand. He knew that, but the pangs in his chest needed some further convincing.

It certainly didn't help that she was actually doing somewhat better today. Granted, she had looked a little shaky after school, but he had given her a good hug before practice and made sure to check on her, sitting quietly on the bleachers with another book, every fifteen minutes or so. Still, all of that was good for Kari, who had not cried at all that day, he realized.

_That you know of. _That upset him: that she might be crying when he wasn't there with her. He pushed the thoughts aside as best he could; she would be able to tell if he was worried.

TK returned his focus to Kari, who was listening quietly as Davis rambled on about something. Always so quiet, so shy, so unsure of herself… She was getting better there, too, but not any faster than with anything else. It was easiest when it was just him, of course, because he spent so much time with her, especially now, and because he knew her well enough to know how to make her start talking. But she was coming along; she spoke with Matt easily enough, and she seemed comfortable around Ken, though he didn't speak particularly frequently either. Then again, she didn't seem quite uneasy around Davis, just quiet, more closed off than when it was just the two of them, but then, would he have minded if she was uncomfortable around that person, particularly?

She smiled then, at something Davis said, and he couldn't help but give a small half-smile, too, despite the hammering pain in his chest. "Did you two decide what we're seeing, then?" he interrupted Davis as his arm moved dangerously close to the small girl's shoulders.

"I don't really care," Kari spoke quietly. _Yes, you do._

"Did you want to see the animated one? I know you said-"

"It's not a big deal, I mean, whatever you guys want to watch." Her eyes darted away from his as she spoke, and he frowned.

"We could see this one," Davis offered, pointing to an advertisement behind him.

"That's fine," Kari agreed to the choice before even turning completely to see the poster, and TK furrowed his brow.

"I thought you wanted to see-"

"It's fine, TK; you wanted to see this one, anyway, and it got good reviews…" She didn't meet his eyes, but focused on a spot somewhere past his shoulder, instead.

"That's not what I said, though." _Look at me, Hikari, please. _More pain shot through him as he studied her eyes, looking right past him.

"If you wanted to see something else, that's okay," Davis offered, confused, and Kari finally met TK's eyes, but he immediately wished she had kept staring over his shoulder. Guilt shone clearly in her soft eyes, and she looked as though he had just revealed some awful thing she had said, not her movie preferences, as if Kari ever said anything awful about anyone.

"Just see the movie, TK? It's not a big deal." He bit his tongue at the sight of hurt in her eyes; he could talk to her about it later.

"Fine," he sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. "Davis, you want to get the tickets? I'll get popcorn and stuff," he offered, knowing it would give him a few minutes with Kari.

"Okay," his eyes darted down to the small girl's face, partially hidden by the hair she let fall in her eyes, before answering, "grab me a coke and some twizzlers?"

"Sure, Kari?" TK laid a hand on her shoulder to guide her to the counter and gave her a comforting kind of halfway-hug against his side as they stood in line to make sure she knew he wasn't upset. "What kind of candy do you like, pretty girl?"

"It doesn't matter," she murmured.

"I don't think they have that," he rubbed her shoulder slowly as he spoke, "but I guess I could ask." She was silent, and he let out a slow breath. "C'mon, Kari, you can at least have an opinion on this. We're each getting a thing of candy and a drink, including you. And if you order water," he added, "or anything with 'diet' in the title, I'm seriously gonna buy you like five boxes of candy and one of those Mega XL milkshake things. Not a joke." She finally broke, letting a small laugh escape her lips. "Okay?" he laid a hand on her wrist.

"Okay," she smiled. "Um, I guess…" she looked up at the menu and bit her lip as she thought. He smiled, and realized that her eyes had brightened slightly, too. _Go ahead and relax, pretty girl._ "Is it okay if I get one of those 'Icee' things?"

"That's fine, Kari," he chuckled. "What kind of candy?"

She leaned closer into him to see around the person standing in front of them, her hair tickling his skin, and he heard her voice say, "Snowcaps would be good," through the unexpected rush of heat to the back of his neck and his suddenly speeded pulse. _How does she do that?_

_Why do you keep letting it happen?_

TK ordered the food and drinks, sending Kari to get straws and napkins so that she would miss the cost that appeared on the register. She was so easily upset whenever a price tag was involved, and she was anxious enough as it was.

"Tickets," Davis called from behind him, holding out a strip of pale yellow so it dangled only a few inches from his face. "Where's Kari?"

"Getting straws," TK stated, a clear note of irritation in his voice.

"Calm down, TY. I don't even know how you get the girl to talk. You're sure there's nothing you'd like to tell-"

"You think you could take some of this?" TK interrupted quickly, handing him the popcorn and a pair of drinks. Davis accepted the snacks, but he leaned around him to look over at Kari.

"Come on," TK purposefully bumped into Davis shoulder to get him walking.

"TK," Kari's quiet voice was even harder to hear than normal, surrounded by loud groups of rowdy teenagers temporarily freed from their parents. "I can take some of that if you want."

"Davis and I've got it."

"You could take the tickets," Davis offered. "They're in my jacket pocket." TK met the too-pleased-with-himself look Davis shot him as Kari's hand slid into his jacket and rolled his eyes through the pain that pounded in his head when he 'accidentally' trapped her waist between his chest and his arm. "Sorry."

Kari quietly handed the tickets to the dark haired teen boy at the entrance to the theatres, and both TK and Davis took turns glaring at the way the boy looked at her. _Idiot, like you could ever come close to deserving her. _They filed into seats (Davis jumping to Kari's other side when he figured out TK's weak attempt to keep them apart) and shuffled snacks around a few times before the trailers began.

The movie was good, and he did his best to keep his eyes on the screen. _She's fine, _he told himself, and she was, but he still regularly convinced himself that Kari might not be okay so that he could study the dim outline of her face again... and again. Sometimes he was genuinely worried, of course, when the movie got more violent, but the violence was mostly with guns and the like, nothing too familiar. It bothered him, though, even if it didn't bother her. Every time someone yelled, every time someone cried, he thought of her, right there beside him, and he listened for her, her breathing, making sure she knew they weren't yelling at her, making sure that she wasn't crying, too. _It's okay, pretty girl. I won't let that happen to you. No one's going to yell at you anymore; I promise._

It was one of those times when he glanced over at her that he noticed Davis hand, open on the opposite armrest. Annoyance bit briefly into the back of his mind, but he smirked at the sight of her hands, lying obliviously in her lap. Silently, he reached over and took a few pieces of popcorn from the bag. Ready… Aim… Very carefully, he threw a piece over Kari into the side of Davis' head.

"What?" the boy mouthed, confused, but TK was already reaching over the armrest, sliding his hand around hers, and pulling her small hand closer as he wove his fingers with hers. Her eyes remained on the screen, but he could just make out a tiny smile that pulled at the corner of her mouth. TK turned to shoot Davis an appropriately smug look, raising his eyebrow somewhat arrogantly as he traced circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. Davis just rolled his eyes.

* * *

TK recaptured her hand, which had escaped during the credits, as they exited the theatre, and pulled her closer, against his side. "What'd you think of the movie, pretty girl?"

"It was good," she spoke softly, and he frowned as Davis took her other hand.

"And…?" She looked up at him blankly. "Why?" he tried again, "Favorite part? Least favorite?"

"That last fight sequence was good, I mean, it didn't look choreographed at all, the CGI was really well done." He nodded, as happy to see her talking as he was irritated by the presence of Davis hand.

"Favorite character?" he asked.

"Um…" she bit her lip again, "I don't know, Davis' turn?"

"I liked the bad guy," Davis stated simply in possibly his shortest sentences of the night, and despite the aggravation pounding in his head, TK couldn't help but laugh along with Kari.

"What?" TK grinned, "That guy was awful."

"Yeah, but the acting was good," Davis defended. "I mean, I'm not saying I'd like to go have lunch with the guy."

"Fair enough," Kari smiled, "Your turn, TK."

"What's my question?"

"Mm, least favorite part?"

"Way to make me the pessimist," they reached his and Davis' cars as he spoke. "I don't know, I didn't like that scene, where the friend there, I forget his name, he yelled at the girl, but I guess… I guess I'm probably just a little oversensitive now," he squeezed Kari's hand and she looked up at him worriedly; he gave her what he hoped was a meaningful look, what he hoped said "No one is allowed to do that to you, yell at you like that when you didn't even do anything wrong, and I won't ever let it happen." There was a short, uneasy quiet before Davis, true to form, broke the silence.

"Well, I'd better get going; I'll see you at practice tomorrow," Davis nodded at TK before turning to Kari, "Do I get a hug goodbye?" She blushed in response, and it took all of TK's will power to release her hand for Davis' hug which, predictably, lasted several seconds too long. He shot the brown haired boy a dark look when Kari averted her eyes, but Davis only smirked as he climbed into his car and drove away.

TK, still staring off after Davis, silently opened the passenger side door for Kari and held out his arm to help her up the step. The door shut a little harder than he meant, jealousy still tainting his actions, and he hurried to his seat on the other side of the car, guilt sending a pang through his chest. "I'm sorry about that."

"S'okay," she whispered.

"How are you doing?" he asked, leaning over and tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Tired," she admitted as her head came to rest on his shoulder.

"Like, 'sleepy' tired?" She shook her head.

"Like, 'I'm not very good at talking to people' tired."

"Was it too much? I know Davis can be… overpowering."

"No, I just need a break; it's nice to be with just you again." TK did his best to hide his smile at this, 'just him', and his heart sped slightly.

"It's nice to be with just you again, too," he studied her face for a while before speaking again, "You wanted to see that other movie," he began.

"I liked the one we saw, TK. I'm really not at all upset about it."

"I know, but you wanted to see the other one." She looked down, stared at her lap. "It wouldn't bother me if you had just mentioned it, at least, and we had picked something else."

"Would you really have picked something else?" Her question caught him off guard.

"What?"

"Would you have thought about what Davis wanted to see, too? Or what you wanted to see? Or would you have sided with me just because you feel sorry about what happened to me?" She looked up at him after she was finished speaking, and he locked his eyes with hers for a long time before answering, thinking it through.

"I would've sided with you, because I wanted to see that movie just as much as this one, and because I want you to be happy, not because I feel sorry for you. That's a big difference, Kari: I'm upset about what happened, and I want you to be happy now, but I'm not trying to make up for what he did, because I know I can't do that. All of that being said," he smiled, "we have similar tastes in movies; I probably wouldn't have put Davis, anyway, through something he really despised when it's something as simple as a movie."

"But you'd do it to yourself."

"May- Probably," he admitted. "It all depends on how important it is."

"How important you think it is." He let out a long breath at this, and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "And you think everything's important."

"I think everything with you is important," he corrected quietly. "And that's because it is."

"That's nice of you to say," she whispered.

"How tired are you, exactly?" he asked, changing the subject. "It's only like seven."

"Why?"

"Well, I'd still like to see that movie, but if you're too tired, that's okay; we can go home." She looked up, puzzled.

"You're serious?"

"You don't have to, Kari. I was just offering."

"I just, that's a lot of money, TK." He rolled his eyes.

"I swear, you really want to bring up the money thing don't you? Listen, I can see it today with you, or I can wait a week or two, and maybe have to watch it with Davis and Ken, too, who, nothing against them, just aren't quite as good company as you are, pretty girl."

"…Okay," she agreed tentatively after studying him for a second. He smiled and gave her a quick hug before running to the other side of the car to get her door. She had it opened halfway before he got there, and he pushed her back, gently but impatiently, inside ("TK, what are you do-") before reopening the door and holding out his arm to help her. She rolled her eyes, "I can get my own door, TK."

"Of course you can, dear, of course you can," he said it doubtfully, patting the top of her head as he teased her.

"Overprotective jerk," she mumbled, and he hugged her again, both of them laughing. He took her hand and pulled her through the parking lot towards the movie theatre again. It wasn't until she looked up at him and asked, "What?" that he realized that his eyes were locked on her, that he was studying her every move, and that a smile had formed on his face without him even noticing it.

"Nothing, you're just absurdly cute tonight, pretty girl." She looked away, and he tightened his hold her hand slightly. _Maybe a little too cute, _he thought when he remembered the dark haired boy from before. "Hey," he added when she was didn't look up after a few seconds. "I-"

Her thin arms were around his waist suddenly, and her face pressed into his chest. He returned the hug slowly, wrapping his arms carefully around her still-battered shoulders. "Kari," he began worriedly, but she turned her head sideways, and he saw that she was smiling slightly.

"Thank you," she whispered, leaning into him further, and he set his chin on her head before tilting his face down to rest his nose in her hair, closing his eyes and smiling at the way her soft scent calmed him.

"Thank you, too."

* * *

A happier chapter, I suppose. I know someone mentioned all these up-and-down emotions, but in my mind that's really what's going on - everything's just completely upredictable. Anyway thanks for reading, and please review! :D -love


	18. Chapter 18

Hey, sorry this is going up so late. I have the next part written, so it just needs to got through a final edit before I put it up. Pretty much I've just been processing all the reviews from last week and **trying** to cut down on the fluff. Trying. I am. Trying. Haha. Okay, well I don't know how great this chapter will be, I've mostly been focusing on the next one.

* * *

**Chapter 18**

* * *

TK ducked his head as the rain worsened, drizzling instead of sprinkling. _Kari's going to freeze,_ he thought, grabbed his jacket from the car, and pulled it over his fresh white basketball t-shirt. _She won't like you giving up your jacket._

_She can deal with it, _he answered himself, but he knew it would be an uphill battle if he weren't careful; she was just entirely too self-sacrificing for her own good.

He tugged the library door open, warm air rushing to greet him. There was a soft, electronic beep as the door shut behind him. Where would she be? He should have asked her before he left for practice. It was certainly larger than he remembered, and he walked slowly through the unfamiliar aisles of books. His feet carried him thoughtlessly through the rows. He couldn't remember the last time he had been inside a library; his mother had picked up any classics he needed for school.

There. He glimpsed her dark brown sweater through the final wall of books. Very quietly, he slid a thick stack of books from the shelf, set them on the carpeted floor, and peered through the hole, his mind wandering as he gazed at her.

She was curled up on the corner of a small couch, a foggy window stood behind her, letting soft grey light fall across her face. Clear swirling marks cut through the fogged glass, and he could imagine her running the tip of her finger lightly over the cold surface, tracing shapes in the rainy day. She turned the page then, and a smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. His mp3 player lay on the couch, next to her socked feet, and he noticed her shoes on the floor. Her eyes moved slightly as they ran across the page, light reflecting from the deep chocolate brown.

Adorable. Always adorable. His heart twisted strangely in his chest the longer he watched her, an odd sort of longing pulling in him. _She's not yours,_ he reminded himself coldly, severely, and a painful ache rushed into his body instead.

"I suppose you're checking all of those out?" A voice sounded behind him, and he jumped slightly, heat rushing up his neck.

"Erm, no, I just came to pick up…" he turned as he spoke, running a hand through his hair. The woman looked about thirty, long, straight, black hair pulled back from her face, glasses framed her dark eyes, books piled in her arms. She reminded him a little of Yolei; she showed the same skeptical expression his friend usually gave him.

"Wait, you're the one who dropped Kari off? Should've known you didn't come in here for the books."

"Mm, yeah, you know Kari?" He shifted uncomfortably.

"'Course I know her, she's in here every other day, isn't she? Not as much the last few weeks, though, probably your fault," she surveyed him critically, making a disgruntled noise and muttering something along the lines of "A basketball player?"

"Right. I'm… sorry, I guess. My name is TK, by the way. I go to school with Hikari." She shook his hand when he offered it, her eyes studying him carefully.

"Jen." He let out a nervous breath before continuing. _Nervous? About making a good impression on the librarian? _But he was nervous, strangely enough, if she really did know Kari.

"Listen, I'm sorry about the books; I'll get them." He leaned over and scooped the novels up and setting them on the shelf again. "D'you want me to hold those ones for you?"

She studied him for another second and sighed, "Well, you're polite, at least. You'd better be carrying all the books for Kari, you hear?" He smiled slightly as she handed him the pile.

"Yeah, I will. Does she come down here a lot, then?" Jen nodded as she moved further down the aisle, taking one book at a time and sliding it onto it's spot on the shelves.

"She's pretty quiet, but a few of us who know her better can usually get her to talk… We usually try to make her something to eat a couple of times a week; she's so thin, and we just keep it in the fridge until the next time she comes in. We've been pretty worried, actually, this past week."

"Thank you," he said immediately, as he was shocked by sudden affection for the woman before him, and she looked up at him. _She saved her life. _The thought echoed through him suddenly, terrified him. If Kari was this thin now, he couldn't even think of her without 'something to eat a couple of times a week'. "For, for taking care of her. I didn't think…" An ache pounded in his head at the sudden connections he made. _She could've starved. _Every time he thought that he had heard it all, it got worse: he discovered something else terrible that had happened to her. He wanted to run over to Kari and scoop her into his arms, hold her there as tightly as possible, tell her it was okay. "It's just good to know she wasn't completely alone the past couple years."

"Yeah," she spoke quietly, studying him. "You said you go to her school?"

"Yeah, I've known her for a long time, but I just moved back into the area this year. Things have been kind of… rough for her lately." He could have laughed at the understatement.

"She's really sweet," her eyes met his unwaveringly.

"I know she is."

"You take good care of her." He nodded.

"I will."

"You know, I actually believe you, kid," she smirked. "Don't mess it up." She reached up and ruffled his hair, like he was five again. "And read a few books; the girl's smart."

* * *

So I notice I've been writing a lot of TK lately, hm... I'll try to mix it up soon; the next chapter's him, too. Ah, well. Anyway, thanks for all the reviews! I'm working on shifting things around a bit.

Thanks for reading, and as always, feel free to review (it gets me writing! :D) . -love


	19. Chapter 19

So I've rewritten this chapter a bunch of times trying to get it right- and I'm not completely convinced I got it, but I need to move on, so here it is:

* * *

**Chapter 19**

* * *

"TK, I'm sorry; I didn't know you were here." Chocolaty brown puppy-dog eyes looked up at him, and he felt something soften deep in his chest.

"Relax, pretty girl," he smiled gently, sitting down beside her on the library's couch. "I was just talking to Jen, she said she was a friend of yours?" Kari's face appeared faintly horrified, guilt clear in her eyes. He forced himself to stay calm, hoping her anxiety would pass.

"TK, she didn't say anything to you, did she?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, smiling slightly as he tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"She's just not very, I mean, it's just, she can come off as a bit… aggressive." He shook his head.

"No, she was fine, reminded me of Yolei."

"She really didn't-?" she began worriedly, moving slightly as his hand reached for the hair on the other side of his face. He frowned slightly as his hand fell but smiled again when he noticed the concern on her face and quickly cut her off.

"She was a little disappointed that I play basketball, but I think she'll forgive me if I grab a book on the way out. Any suggestions?" he added, glancing at the pile of books on Kari's other side. She made an indecisive sort of face and bit her lip nervously.

"I don't know what kind of stuff you like…"

"Doesn't hurt to give it a try," he suggested and she met his eyes for a few seconds before answering.

"…Okay," she agreed tentatively, "Do you want to go, than?" she offered, reaching down to put on her shoes.

"You can finish the chapter," he said, laying a hand on her wrist. "We're not in a hurry." She eased back into the couch, and he smiled again, reaching over and pulling her into his side. "Go ahead."

She shifted into him slightly as she reopened the book in her hand, and he wrapped his arms loosely around her waist as he fought back a smile. He could almost see her here, chewing quietly on the food Jen brought in for her.

_Not just that,_ a dark voice whispered in the back of his head, _trying not to look as hungry as she was, using the air-conditioning as an excuse to continue wearing long sleeves in the summer, walking through the reference section so no one could see her crying._ The images that formed in his mind burned painfully in his chest, and he closed his eyes and tightend his hold slightly on the girl in his arms, trying to forget them.

"TK," Kari's voice came out faintly, choked and pained, jarring him from his thoughts.

"Kari, what's wrong? I-" Her hand tugged weakly at his wrist, and he loosed his arms immediately. "Did I-?" She gave a soft gasp as she pulled away from him, her breathing odd, and he blinked at her helplessly as she gulped for air. Pain flooded him immediately, worry and guilt twisting in his chest, though he still didn't entirely understand what had happened. "What's wrong?"

"It's okay, TK. I'm fine." He could still hear the pain in her voice, the strange roughness of her breath. _Worst liar I've ever met._ "My side's really sore today, is all," she whispered the whole time, dutifully minding the rules. He tried to read her eyes, the emotion in them, but he didn't understand.

"Why would it be worse today?" he forced himself to copy her quiet voice despite the emotion lying heavily in his stomach. She winced when she took a deep breath, her hand moving instinctively to protect her side, and nausea rolled through him with the realization of what he had done. _You did that to her. You hurt her._

"I, I must of slept on it wrong. I don't know. Don't worry about it, TK." His hold hadn't felt rough, but it was impossible to deny the pain in her eyes. _What did you do to her?_ He suddenly wanted her to yell at him, to hit him, to tell him that he was a horrible, abusive jerk, anything but this. Anything but acting like it was fine. "W-We can go now, I just have to…" He saw her eyes move towards her books, now scattered on the floor, and bent down to pick them up before she could hurt herself further. "Thanks." He closed his eyes at the 'thank you', pain stabbing in his chest. What did she think she was doing, thanking him?

"Kari," he began firmly, but she ignored him and made a move to stand, forcing him to help her to her feet, his conscience flatly refusing to allow her to be hurt again.

"I'm fine, TK. Let's just go." She started walking immediately, and he followed her powerlessly. _Make her stop, _said a voice inside his head, but his hands shook whenever he tried to come close to her, the other voice in his much louder, much harsher, laced with pain: _You hurt her. She's in pain because of you. It's your fault. _"Y-You wanted a book?" Her voice was lighter this time, but he didn't miss the way it shook.

"Kari, you can't pretend-" Pain shone in her eyes when he didn't play along with her false cheerfulness.

"We'll get one n-next time I guess," she murmured, her face turning away from his, and he was helpless once again.

Somehow they made it through checking the books out, but he didn't remember a second of it. His eyes were on her the whole time, his mind battling against itself and trying to work out what was going on in her head. He recognized the look in her eyes, the dark mood she shifted into all too frequently lately.

"Here," he managed, pulling off his jacket and holding it out to her, "It's still raining."

"You don't have to…" He wondered if you were upset enough, and often enough, if your chest could actually tear itself apart from the inside. It certainly felt that way.

"Take it, Kari." Did she just enjoy hurting herself? Maybe she would finally start yelling after they were out of the library; maybe she would tell him what else was wrong. _Who are you kidding? You're 'what's wrong'. _Remorse panged through him again.

Kari obeyed quietly and bowed her head as they stepped outside. She hugged herself, bracing her body against the cold. His arms instantly ached to replace hers, to press her into his chest and hide her from the wind, but the guilt was still too strong, paralyzing every attempt to come closer to her. _I'm sorry._ He put the books in his trunk silently, Kari shivering beside him. The ache became too much, her trembling form just inches from his, and he clutched the side of the trunk door as he leaned his head down, rain soaking through him.

"TK," she whispered.

"Tell me what's wrong," he swallowed painfully, trying not to look at her shaking hands. "Even if, even though, I know it's me, okay? Just tell me."

"TK, it wasn't your fault, okay?" Her voice was soft, almost hidden by the rain. It made him sick.

"Oh, come on, Kari. You can't possibly expect me to think it hurts that badly just by sleeping on it wrong!"

"Something else happened, okay?" she whispered, and he heard the tears crop up in her voice. He winced.

"What?" His eyes glared down at the latch on the trunk, focused on keeping the emotion from his voice.

"Nothing, okay? It's, it's fine now." He finally forced himself to look over at her, and he could see the tears streaming down her face, through the rain, her eyes a painful red. Painful for him, too, pain pounding in his chest and his head, too strong for him to think straight.

"What happened, Kari?" She shook her head.

"Y-You don't want to hear it, Takeru, all right?" He blinked at his full name; something was very wrong, worse than even he'd imagined.

"Tell me what happened."

"You're going to yell at me," she sobbed, suddenly hiding her face in her hands and shaking her head, and he blinked again.

"What?" She shook her head again, the tears stronger. "Kari, I won't yell, okay?"

"Yes, you will," she whispered, her whole body shaking, "I-I would yell, too, if you-" She choked on a fresh round of tears.

"No, I won't, Hikari." He forced himself not to yell that, at least. "Look at me. Look at me, Kari," he repeated gently, and she let her hands fall from her face, her eyes meeting his tentatively, almost fearfully. "I'm not going to yell at you, but you have to tell me what happened, okay? I'm really sorry for hurting you, and I know- I know it's all my fault, but you don't have to be afraid of me; you know that." She let out another sob, and pain echoed louder through his chest to the rhythm of her tears. "Please, Kari?" He felt useless, just standing there, letting her cry, but he couldn't bear to touch her, couldn't bear to risk hurting her again.

"I-I forgot two of the b-books I checked out, and t-they w-were due next Tuesday. I d-didn't want you to have to pay for something that stupid, y-you know? It, it was my fault," she stammered quickly, squeezing her eyes shut. "S-So I went back to get them."

"You walked all the way back to Matt's? In the rain?" He ran his hands very slowly through his hair and closed his eyes, overcome. He didn't want to see her like that, didn't want to picture her walking through these streets on her own. "Kari, you could've just waited-"

"No," she choked; he could hear the tears constantly interfering with her words. "No, not Matt's. I forgot them before that…" she swallowed to regain her voice. "He, he's not usually home in the afternoon," she whispered.

"No." His eyes shot open, and he gripped the hair at the base of his neck. "No, no, Kari, you didn't," he shook his head, horror-struck, but she only broke into a fresh round of sobs. She couldn't have done that. She couldn't. A headache pounded in his head as the cold continued to penetrate his body. She knew better than to go back there. She knew what he could do to her. She knew what that would do to him.

"I'm sorry."

"I," his voice broke slightly, and he swallowed. "I promised you he would never hurt you again. I told you he wouldn't so much as look at you again."

"No, TK, it's not your fault. You didn't break your promise, okay? You didn't let him hurt me; I did. It's not your-"

"I don't care whose fault it is!" His hand slammed into the trunk door, and it crashed shut. "I'm supposed to keep you safe! You know what I told your friend in there? Jen? I told her I would take care of you! And he could've killed you!" Desperation leaked into his words as he continued, voice still raised, "He could've hurt you so badly you couldn't-" He closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair, reigning in his anger. "I'm sorry."

She was still crying, and even through his swallowed anger his arms begged to hold her, begged to keep her safe, keep her warm. Not that he would be helpful for that anymore; his hands were numb in the freezing rain, his face stinging in the icy wind.

"J-Just tell me what happened."

"I d-don't know w-what you want me to say," she cried, her voice sending pangs through his heart. How much further could he push this?

"Where else did he hurt you?" His throat was tight, his whole body shivering, now, as much with emotion as with the cold.

"I h-hit m-my head on the d-door." He couldn't help but the notice the way she phrased it: '**I** hit my head', still shifting the blame to herself_._ "A-And my w-wrist," she peeled back his jacket and her sweater, revealing several deep gashes on her forearm. "I g-got all the glass out, I think. Th-The pieces w-were pretty big." _All the glass? _The wounds on her wrist made him sick, the dark red contrasted against her pale skin adding nausea to his headache.

"H-How did you get out?"

"T-The mailman," she gave a choked, humorless laugh, "T-Tai s-sent my birthday card early." She pulled a crumpled envelope from her back pocket, not bothering to protect it from the rain.

"Kari…" Tears threatened his eyes as the headache pressed painfully into his forehead, but he was too focused on her to notice.

"I know it was stupid, TK! I'm sorry. I know he could've- I was so scared. I didn't think," she choked and closed her eyes for a second before continuing. "I didn't know if I'd get to see you again," she whispered; her eyes didn't meet his, but focused on the half-soaked envelope in her hand.

Something cracked deep in his chest; he almost heard it: a deep, resounding 'snap' as it broke into pieces. He didn't even feel himself move; she was just there, in his arms, and he was suddenly clutching her against his chest. He tightened his hold, carefully avoiding her injured side, tightened it again, but he couldn't get her close enough, press her far enough into his chest. His fingers knotted with fabric of her clothes: his jacket, her sweater. Not close enough, not safe enough. The hood of her jacket fell down and he pressed his face into her hair, but she was still shaking, or was that him?

"I'm right here, Kari. Right here. Don't be afraid. I'm gonna make it stop. No one's gonna hurt you. Sshh, sshh… It'll be all right." They stood there for a long time, her face in his neck, and his arms tight around her back. "Right here, I promise." Finally, Kari's hands shaking on his back, her lips trembling and her teeth chattering uncontrollably in the icy rain, he scooped her into his arms and carried her to the car, ignoring her protests that she was 'fine' and 'not really cold'.

He buckled her seatbelt for her, and met her brown eyes for a few seconds too long, his thoughts crowded and confused, a headache still strong in his temple. A few drops of water clung to her bottom lip, and the familiar ache to feel her rose in his chest, as if he hadn't enough confused emotion in his head right now. But this one would make it all go numb, wouldn't it? For a few seconds, at least, he wouldn't have to feel anything but her. He leaned closer, his eyes deep in hers...

_No._

"You're freezing," he reminded himself quietly, forcing him to close the door and walk to his side of the car. _Idiot._ _She's not your's, and you won't- don't feel that way about her._He slid his key into the ignition, turned up the heat, and gripped the steering wheel. His eyes closed, refocusing his thoughts, and a humorless chuckle escaped his lips. "Didn't think I'd being doing this again," he admitted, remembering that night outside her apartment building.

"I'm sorry," she choked. She had removed his jacket, covered in water droplets, and wrapped her arms in a hug around herself.

"No, I- It's okay. I mean, it's not, but…" He looked over at her shivering form, her pain forcing tears to burn at his eyes. "Did you mean that, before? I mean, about it not being my fault? Y-You don't mind if I," he stopped and looked away for a second, afraid of the answer, before laying his hand on hers and meeting her eyes questioningly.

"Of course I meant it, TK." She said it as if it were obvious, as if he were being completely rediculous. "It was an accident; there was no way you could've known." He could feel the relief as it flooded his eyes. His fingers wove unconsciously with hers as he settled back in his seat, nodding silently. She slid closer to him as he reached for the gearshift, her head coming to rest on his shoulder, and his arm wrapped around her shoulders automatically as he turned to lean his nose into her hair, her scent lessenning the pain his temple very slightly. His free hand pushed her hair back from her face, and she winced as he stroked the side of her head.

"Sorry," he apologized softly, closing his eyes to calm the rage at a dark gash he spotted on her head, mostly hidden by her hair.

"S'okay." She curled closer sleepily as he pulled from his parking space. "Matt's the other direction," she added as he turned left from the lot.

"I'm gonna stop at Joe's for a second; he's rooming with his brother, and we can have them look at your side."

"You don't have to," she murmured.

"Yes I do." She didn't argue. Her eyes closed, and she was asleep within minutes.

But his mind still buzzed. A headache still pounded through his head. _He hurt her again._ Images of her head and wrist were burned into his eyes, as clear as they were a few minutes before. Too many emotions throbbed in his chest without her soft brown eyes looking in his, easing the burden. He closed his eyes and pressed his head back against the headrest as he shifted into park outside Joe's apartment building. _Calm down._

A soft, pained wimper came from his right as Kari shifted in her sleep; she had pressed her bad side into the emergency brake. Another quiet cry escaped her unconscious lips as he shifted her into a more comfortable position, and his last semblence of control slipped. He was done.

He threw the door open and slammed it shut, releasing a piece of the rage trapped painfully in his chest. He roared as he slammed his fist into the 'No Parking on Tuesday 6-8' sign and aimed a kick at the empty beer bottle on the ground. "HOW DARE YOU TOUCH HER!" he screamed at no one. "How dare you do that to her again! How dare you even speak to her again! She's worth more than you ever could be! How dare you-!" His anger ran out quickly again, and his knees gave out the second his tears started; he collapsed to the ground, pain shattering through his knees. "How can you even look at her, and-" Agony coursed through his veins at the images still burning in his head, torturing him. Images of fresh injuries on her fragile body. "I hurt her b-by accident, and I can hardly live with myself, but y-you do it on purpose a-and. d-don't. even. b-blink." His fist slammed into the concrete, punctuating his words. _Stop._ He squeezed his eyes shut. _You're stronger than this. You can't fall apart on her. She needs you._

He pushed away the tears and forced himself to walk to her side of the car, open her door, and wrap Kari's miraculously still-sleeping form in a blanket before scooping her up against his chest. Feeling her in his arms only made it worse of course, closer to unbearable as he thought possible, but he carried her inside silently, refusing to give in to the intense pain coursing through him.

He was stronger than that. He couldn't fall apart on her. She needed him.

And he would be there, no matter badly it hurt.

* * *

This chapter is a lot longer than I thought it would be, but I didn't want to cut it again, so oh well. Anyway, there has been much complaint over the "dragging" which I completely get, although I must admit I have trouble cutting anything. And with the month long time frame I feel really cheap using too much "the next week" or "a few days later". That being said- I'm definitely going to cut some of it down and try to rework some more plot into the lately-much-too-common "in between" chapters, since I don't want it all to become what feels like a bunch of filler. Ah, so that was me thinking out loud, haha. Anyway, please keep reviewing, and I hope you enjoy this story despite my craziness and general lack of writing skills. Okay- I'm seriously hitting 'save' and putting this up right now. -love


	20. Chapter 20

_Look! I'm still alive! :D Haha, so I apologize for the lack of updates for what, like a month and a half? That's rediculous. I'll put my full list of excuses at the end, in case someone actually cares. Anyway, here's the next chapter (or the first half of it, I don't know, this was really supposed to be combined with the next chapter, but I don't have time to edit the other half, and it's at a half decent split point, anyway.)_

* * *

**Chapter 20**

* * *

TK felt a smile tug automatically at the corners of his mouth, successfully lightening the downcast tone that had taken to haunting his mind for the past two days. She looked so much more peaceful when she was sleeping, like she forgot everything the second her eyes closed, like her mind could put away all the bad memories for a few precious hours of sleep. _What do you dream about, pretty girl?_

He dropped his backpack to the floor as silently as possible and stepped quietly across Matt's living room. A book lay at the base of the couch, her fingertips just barely brushing the binding as she exhaled. Her breathing was slow and quiet; _fast asleep, _he thought to himself distractedly, studying her face, the curves of her soft brown eyelashes. She was calming him even now, deep in sleep, charming him even without the sound of her voice.

His mind welcomed the chance to think free of stress, and he wondered if her murmured protests didn't hold some weight after all, maybe he had been a bit protective the past couple of days. Walking her to and from every class was more of a burden than a help, after all, especially with her overactive conscience constantly working against him. He could at least let her spend some time with someone else; she was probably sick of him after the past three days. Davis would be happy to-

_Not Davis,_ he snapped internally before scrambling for a solid reason, something other than the pangs of irrational possessiveness flooding him rapidly. _She sees him enough; she should get some time with Yolei, with a girl who isn't waiting around to tear her down._ Yes, that sounded perfectly reasonable, and Yolei would be happy to spend some time with her.

A tiny wrinkle appeared on Kari's forehead, breaking his concentration. He ran his eyes over her whole body now, worried. Instinct pulled his gaze to the hidden cut on her head, the bandage on her wrist, and the tape holding her side steady as it healed, its corner just barely visible when she took a deep breath. He had to fight to suppress the automatic flood of anger at the reminders of her pain. _He hurt her again. He hurt her again. You let him hurt her again._ He took a long, deep breath to calm himself before very carefully kneeling beside the couch and sliding his right hand beneath her shoulder, his left arm under her knees. He lifted her only half an inch, and very slowly, desperately hoping he wouldn't make a noise. Her breathing remained steady, and the wrinkle disappeared as he set her back down. _That's right, _his mind whispered as if she could hear, _you're okay._ He eased back, pulling a blanket over her tiny body and tucking a pillow beneath her head as he moved away.

_Sweet dreams, pretty girl._

He realized he was staring at her only when his phone went off in his pocket, nearly four minutes later. He scrambled for it quickly, blinking to shake himself (_Thank goodness it's still on vibrate_, he thought), and checked his messages.

**Don't forget dinner tonight. Ziti is on the counter.**

_Dinner._ TK had almost forgotten Matt would be out late that night. He tore his eyes from Kari's sleeping form, and the dark mood immediately rushed back, flooding him with worry for the thousandth time that day.

_Maybe I should stay here with her…_

_That doesn't make sense; she needs to eat._ And that sent his worries in a different direction: was she really eating enough? He stole a glance back at her from the doorway; a glass of water stood on the side table, but there was no sign of food. Was she really putting on the kind of weight she needed? How much did she, should she weigh? _More than that_, he thought, studying her too-thin limbs. He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose to combat the headache beginning to pound in his head. Now wasn't the time to get worked up again.

It took him a minute to pull away from her completely and to force the worst of the anxiety from his mind, but he managed it eventually and focused himself on cooking the dry pasta Matt had left for him on the counter. He rolled his eyes at the canned ingredients purchased specially for him and the written instructions Matt had been sure to make painstakingly clear. _Wouldn't want to burn down Matt's precious kitchen, _he smirked. Even so, the whole process was much easier than he had expected, and following his brother's instructions took just enough concentration to distract him, allowing his headache to fade.

He dumped a dirty pan in the sink and wondered briefly when Kari would wake; the food had taken far less time than he had expected. Remembering the peaceful look on her face and ignoring the slight emptiness in his stomach, he covered the pot and found an empty space in Matt's fridge. _She'll eat more if you eat with her._ A yawn escaped his lips as he pushed the fridge door shut. Maybe he would take a nap, too; neither one of them had been getting enough sleep. He could lie down on the other couch, watch her as he fell asleep…

A thud from the other room shattered the images of her face forming in his mind. A crack. A crash. An odd sort of whimper he recognized immediately. "Kari?" he called anxiously, nearly knocking over a lamp in his sprint around the corner. "Kari, what happened? Are you okay?"

Kari's slender body was shaking, shivering head to toe in the center of the room. "I'm sorry." He recognized the sound of tears in her throat immediately, even with her back to him. The usual flood of emotion washed through him at the all too familiar noise, the sound of her hurting, again. He swallowed forcibly and closed his eyes for a moment, willing himself to regain control, willing himself not to remember how badly she'd been hurt that weekend. How did this keep happening? How could he let her down again?

"What happened, Kari?" He opened his eyes again and quickly ran them over the room. Something on the carpet glittered faintly, a few feet past her. "Didn't you have a glass of water?" he remembered, "Did-?"

"I'm sorry!" She turned to face him, but her eyes never quite met his. "I didn't mean to- I-I'm sorry, please," she choked, and he recognized the fear that shone in her eyes.

"The glass broke?" he spoke calmly, running his hand through his hair to keep his emotions in check even through the hammering pain in his temple. Kari nodded frantically as she broke into another round of 'I'm sorry's, 'I didn't mean to's, and 'please don't's. Were her guilt trips really this bad now? A twinge of pain shot through his chest. "Calm down Kari, it's just a glass." He took a step towards her and she froze, eyes wide.

"I won't do it again, I promise. Please," she pleaded.

"I'm not angry, Kari, but you need to get way from there; you don't have any shoes on and there's broken-"

"I didn't mean to break it!" she sobbed, "I'm sorry! I'll do anything, I'll-"

"Kari!" he spoke loudly and reached for her wrist. She shrunk back, terrified, and took a step back. "No," he breathed, fear tightening his chest as he waited a cry of pain, but she was still a foot or so away from the first of the glass.

"Please, please," she begged him. _Begged. _Tears burned at the corners of his eyes (_Stop it, you know you can't do that, _he thought); did she actually think that he would-? But there was something else wrong, even behind the tears, her eyes seemed slightly out of focus, and she reacted more to the sound of his voice than to the words he spoke. Like she hadn't quite woken from a bad dream…

_Calm down. She's just freaked out. She'll listen if you calm down,_ he told himself, forcing his lungs to take slow, deep breaths

"C'mon, Hikari," he whispered, anxiety rising further and further in his chest the longer he watched her face, swollen and red with tears, "Please don't do this." He reached his hand out slowly this time, but she took a step back the moment she spotted it. He looked down; sharp, clear glass glittered three inches from her right foot. He was out of space. His hands shook slightly now, at the realization of what he had to do. "I'm sorry," he breathed when her eyes drifted away again, her mouth forming another chorus of incoherent apologies. "I'm so sorry."

Her foot was already moving back when he caught her injured wrist tight in his hand. She gave a soft cry as his fingers pressed into the bandage, and pain ten time as worse as what shot through her wrist splintered in his chest. Quickly, before the guilt could register totally enough to paralyze him, he jerked her arm roughly towards him, forcing her off balance. Another whimper escaped her lips at this; he could almost feel the jerk of pain in her shoulder and her elbow. _I'm sorry._ His eyes squeezed shut as he wrapped his arms around her, crushing her small body safe into his chest as a strange mix of pain and relief shot through him.

_Safe. She's safe. _

_You hurt her. You're just as bad as him. _

_No, no, she's safe now. She's okay._

He pressed his face into the top of her head and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself as much as her. _I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. _Stabs of icy guilt shot through his chest, making it hard to breath, but her hair was soft, and the scent of her shampoo felt warm in his lungs. She was safe. She was in his arms and she was safe.

"T-TK?" Kari's voice shook, and her breathing was still strange from the shock of pain he head sent through her arm, but her body relaxed, no longer fighting against his embrace.

He nodded silently as a fresh wave of relief washed over him. "You have no idea how good it is to hear you say that, pretty girl." He loosened his hold on her slightly, the pounding in his temple fading as he took another breath in her hair.

"TK," she repeated, tears catching in her throat. "I-I thought… I dreamed that h-he was back, and y-you- It was s-so real," she sobbed, wrapping her arms around his waist and leaning her face into his chest. He scolded himself for how good that felt, her arms around him. "He was there, and he hurt- and I couldn't find you; you left, and it, it was so real. And I didn't realize I woke up, and the glass broke, and-" Her words dissolved into the tears, shaking her shoulders violently.

"Just a nightmare." He leaned down further and spoke firmly in her ear, "You know I'm not going anywhere. You want me to go, you'll have to order me away." Her fingers knotted with his shirt as she shook, and he rubbed her back gently. "I'm sorry about your arm," he murmured quietly, quickly, desperate for her to understand, "Really sorry. I didn't know what to do, a-and I should've been able to-" She pushed her forehead into his chest and her fists into his back.

"No. D-Don't apologize for keeping me out of the emergency room. O-Or for waking me up from a nightmare." He nodded in silence and carefully massaged her back until the tears were completely gone, her fingers loose from his shirt.

"You want to lie down again?" he asked quietly, shifting her in his arms to rest his chin on the top of her head.

"I don't want you to leave," she whispered tearfully, and her arms tightened around him.

"I didn't say I was leaving, Kari." He rubbed her shoulder gently, but guilt still played at his mind; why did she still want him there after he hurt her like that? Why didn't she even care what he'd done to her? Did this mean she'd let anyone do that? That she'd allow any idiot to hurt her just because she was in pain all the time anyway? "Do you need some more sleep?" She nodded tentatively into his chest, and he dropped away from her to guide her over to the couch on the other end of the room, safely away from the broken glass. Leaning over, he scooped her (_Too easily_, he thought, worries reinvading his mind) into his arms and laid her gently on the cushions. He pulled back slowly, running a hand over her soft hair.

"Don't go," she pleaded softly, tears cropping up in her voice again.

"Hey," he shifted closer and wiped the tears from her still-red eyes, concern forming a line between his eyebrows even as the feel of her skin sent the usual burning through his fingers. "I'm not going anywhere, remember?" She gave a tentative nod, and TK took a deep breath before joining her on the couch. _You shouldn't be-_

_She wants this; she asked me this time._

_She wants someone there to make her feel better, not to… to what?_

_To nothing. She's my friend. _He leaned back and slid his arm gently beneath her head. She shivered as he tucked a blanket around her, and he felt worry shoot through him almost routinely. "You okay?" he whispered, reaching over to rub her arm with his free hand.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine," she murmured, her eyes drifting away from his.

"Hikari," he began, wrapping her cold hands carefully in the warm fabric already around her body.

"Just tired," her eyes met his briefly this time, and her voice was stronger, "I'm sorry about-"

"No," he spoke gently but firmly, "Don't try that one, pretty girl. You don't get to apologize for bad dreams." She nodded quietly, and her eyes began to flutter slightly, struggling to stay open. He shifted her closer and she relaxed her neck, laying the side of her head on his shoulder. He followed suit, leaning his head back on the couch. Exhaustion washed over him suddenly; he had forgotten how tired he was, and his eyelids drooped quickly, a fuzzy haze of fatigue settling over his mind.

"You're a good pillow," Kari mumbled sleepily, her eyes closed now, a small smile pulling at her lips. She twisted closer, and his heart sped happily at the feel of her small body against his side, the weight of her head on his shoulder. A few '_What do you think you are doing_'s crossed his mind, but he pushed them away impatiently; he was too tired to feel guilty right now. His arm wrapped protectively around her slim waist, over the blanket, and he closed his eyes, feeling her breathing slow in his arms. She was safe. She was in his arms, and she was safe.

* * *

_Okay, so I'm not really convinced this is finished, but after a month and a half, I just need to put something up. Keep in mind this was really only half the chapter, hence the rather abrupt ending._

_Again, I'm really sorry about the wait, but I do really plan on finishing this story, I just have trouble finding time to get on the computer. Speaking of which, my list of excuses! So I pretty much put the last chapter up and then it was like:  
__graduation project  
volleyball camp  
music festival  
scuba  
volleyball practices  
painting the lines in the school parking lot  
__scuba  
volleyball practices  
school  
volleyball games  
__And I was going to put this up a few days ago, but I was attacked by an insane day consisting of FOUR quizzes!_

_Alright, so those were my excuses, even if they aren't all that great. Thanks to anybody who asked to make sure I was still writing, it's cool that somebody actually cares if I finish this._

_-love_

_PS- Super Embarrassing Thing: I just realized when I put the previous chapter up that the quote I had copied and pasted for the description and begining of the story had a spelling error in it! Because 'Wondering' the world is not the same thing as 'Wandering' the world, nor does it make much sense. _


	21. Chapter 21

_I'm going to apologize again for being so slow, but honors classes are sucking my life force. Anyway, I hope this is okay. Review! _

* * *

**Chapter 21**

* * *

Kari's eyes fluttered open. Beside her, TK's eyes were still closed, his blonde hair ticking her forehead. She could feel his breath on her cheek, warm and steady. A tiny, amused smile pulled at her lips when she thought of what the girls at school would do to be in her place. Of course, this wasn't what they'd have in mind, was it? She flinched, trying to backtrack and erase the thoughts. She didn't want to think of him that way, didn't want to think that, as much as would deny it, he was only a seventeen-year-old boy. A sweeter seventeen-year-old boy than most, but still...

_He'll fall for someone, eventually, and he'll forget about you._ Not that she expected more than that from him, _from anyone_… Then again, it probably wouldn't be soon; TK never seemed to give any of those girls a second glance, or else he'd give everyone a "second glance", always smiling and saying the polite thing. Not that he realized he was doing it; he was simply too nice, to everyone. _To you, _came the voice in her head, and there was the familiar burning at her eyes. _Don't cry,_ she ordered herself and took a deep breath, refocusing her thoughts.

He looked so young when he slept; she could almost imagine the oversized green hat he used to wear. Or the tan fisherman's hat, she smiled, as if he had ever gone fishing. He didn't wear a hat now, of course, just loosely gelled blonde hair that flirted playfully with his blue eyes. Blue eyes, she realized, that were open. She blushed immediately, averting her eyes from his gaze.

"What're you thinking about, pretty girl?" His voice was soft, still slightly sleepy.

She shrugged quietly, "What're you thinking about?"

"You." TK smiled playfully and leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers, forcing her to meet his eyes again. "Did you have any more bad dreams?" His voice was still gentle, but it held a more serious undertone, a concern that rang deeper than he could hide. She had to stop letting him feel like that, wasting his worry on her. She shook her head 'no' silently, her forehead brushing back and forth against his. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know," she admitted quietly.

"You need anything?" She shook her head for a second time and slid back slightly, putting a little space between them, but his eyes stayed on hers, his stare intense. "Have you had nightmares about him before?"

"No," she shook her head once again, using it as an excuse to tilt her face the rest of the way away from his. "I-It was probably just a one time thing, you know? I'll be fine." She scolded herself for letting her voice shake.

"Were you upset when you fell asleep?"

"A little," she admitted.

"When you say a little," he began, pausing for a second when she flinched. "Is there anything you want to talk about?" Kari was studying the ceiling, refusing to meet his eyes again. She replied automatically, not thinking about her answer.

"No."

The word had hardly escaped her lips when she felt his hand pull from her side and press into her neck, forcing her to face him again.

"Is there anything you want to talk about?" he repeated in a sort of forced-calm, blue eyes burning, his warm fingers locked firmly but carefully on her jaw. She didn't like to have him look at her that way, straight in the eyes, offering no escape. Her breathing was shaky under the intensity of his gaze, and it took her a second to process his question.

"No," she shook her head as best she could in his hold, "no, I actually do feel a lot better right now, and I really," she paused to swallow, "I d-don't want to start crying again."

His eyes softened immediately, his hand relaxing its grip. "I'm sorry," he murmured, leaning his forehead into hers again. "You shouldn't bury it all under, though," he added, slowly tucking loose hair behind her ear. He was doing that more and more lately, touching her face or her hand in constant attempts to comfort her. _Too nice, _the voice in her head reminded her, and she had to fight not to wince.

"I… I know; I'll let you know if it bothers me again, okay?"

"All right," he agreed, studying her eyes carefully; she had just begun to pull away, intending to sit up, when his arm returned to her waist, pulling her close and trapping her body against his.

"TK," she rolled her eyes.

"Hm?" he raised a blonde eyebrow at her innocently, amusement flashing in his blue eyes.

"Lemme go," she complained, straining against his hold. TK chuckled at her pitiful attempt to fight his grip. Heat burned at her face; he wasn't even trying.

"I'm never letting go, Kari," he pulled himself closer, letting his nose bump against hers, smiling slightly when she felt confusion flash on her face, "I'm the luckiest guy in the world right now."

She blinked a few times and rolled her eyes to hide the hurt at his lie; why did he have to do that? "Dork."

"Maybe," he grinned, "Are you still ticklish?" TK's fingers ran over her neck as his other arm continued to trap her easily on the couch.

"TK," she managed between bouts of laughter and gasps for breath, "TK, I have homework!"

"You liar!" his fingers paused as he laughed, "I asked you if you had homework at school!" He attacked her with tickles again, and it was a few seconds before she could get out another protest.

"TK! I-I'm hungry! And my side-" She caught her breath as his fingers fell away, but TK wasn't smiling anymore.

"You don't play fair, pretty girl," TK complained moodily before releasing her and shifting into a sitting position.

"TK, I didn't mean that-" The sudden absence of his warm side made the guilt worse, like the room had just dropped ten degrees.

"No, Kari, it's my fault; just tell me right away next time, all right? I don't want to hurt you." Kari pushed herself up onto her elbow and touched his arm. His muscles tensed immediately. _Disgusted._

"I was just, I mean, it hurt a little, but it wasn't bothering me; I promise." Concern tore through her painfully when he didn't respond. She sat up completely now and lay her other hand on his elbow. "Please, TK?" she whispered, leaning her forehead into the top of his arm. There was a few seconds of quiet before he spoke.

"I think that's the first time you've really hugged me in a week, you know that?" His arm relaxed, and she looked up to find a smile tugging gently at the corner of his mouth. Heat burned at the back of her neck (_He doesn't really want you touching him_, her mind brought back the way he had tensed when she touched him, _revolted_, the way he saw her when he was too tired to give everyone that second glance.), and she dropped her arms from around his. "I'm sorry," he added, "I guess I need to be getting some more sleep, too." He closed his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath.

"It's okay," she murmured.

"Just," he paused, "does it hurt right now?" She thought for a second before answering, wary of upsetting him again.

"Only if I move the wrong way, or too fast, like-" She made to turn her shoulders towards the other end of the couch, but TK gave a sharp intake of breath and quickly touched her arm.

"I didn't mean for you to **make** it hurt, pretty girl. Be… careful. If anything bothers that side, I know you're okay, but you should take it easier than you think you need to, you know?" She nodded in agreement, grateful when the worry eased from his eyes a bit more. "The food thing was a bit of a cheap shot, though," he smiled.

"You're about four times my size; I didn't have a whole lot of choices." TK's smile widened and he chuckled, brightening his blue eyes again.

"We'll have to work on that." He tucked the hair behind her ear again and shifted away slightly, starting to get up.

"TK?" She wasn't sure what made her do it, what gave her the sudden short burst of false confidence.

"Hm?"

She twisted so she sat on her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck, setting her chin on his shoulder. For a second she thought his face looked a little red, but a voice in her head shot reality through her before she could pretend, _probably just embarrassed to have you hanging off him like that, stupid girl._ "Th-thank you." She pressed her face into his shoulder to hide the tears that threatened to escape her eyes. _Don't- _Don't cry, she was about to warn herself, but TK's arms were around her then, and the tears were gone.

"I'm the luckiest guy in the world, remember? No need to thank me." His arms pulled her closer, snug against his chest, and she suddenly felt very small, abruptly conscious that her arms couldn't even reach the whole way around his shoulders. His arms, which the incident on the couch made her realize were very, very solid, pulled her close enough to feel the warm strength of his chest through his clothes. It wasn't the bad small, though, not like what she'd felt at home, not like his arms could crush her, or that his foot could land a kick more powerful than her stepfather ever had, though she supposed they could. She felt safe. Like nothing in the world could touch her, nothing but him, not even the voice in her head, the one that should be telling her he deserved to be out with his friends and with girls who weren't ugly, needy little pieces of trash. That's what it would be saying, anyway, but she couldn't hear it now, muffled by the sounds of TK's breathing.

He pulled away slowly, smiling gently and murmuring, "I could really get used to those hugs" (which was probably a lie, but she was in a good enough mood that the mere memory of his warmth was enough to overlook this fact). "You wanna pick a movie?" he asked as he stood, "I've got pasta in the fridge." She nodded silently and began to shift off the couch as he moved towards the kitchen. "And Kari?" She glanced over her shoulder; he stood in the doorway, leaning against the wall.

"Hm?"

"You better eat at least two bowls of this stuff; if it weren't for that side and the fact that you weigh less than my backpack, I would never have let go." There was that smile, lighting up his eyes, and his hand, running through his hair. She rolled her eyes as heat burned behind her skin, but for the second time in only three minutes she pushed away the voice in her mind, or else, TK did.

* * *

_So when I went back and found the original rough draft for this part I literally cringed at the tickling thing. Like, really? Because no one else has used that before. Ah, well, it's not like I'm claiming to be super original, and I couldn't really cut this, so I hope having that darker side to things at least made it bearable. Please review! -love._

_PS: Some not-so-great news, well, not-so-great for you guys: I'm going to be attempting a Young Writers Program NaNoWriMo this year (ywp because I'm a wimp and there's no way I'm making it to 50000), which will make November a challenge fanfiction-wise. I will definitely try, though! I have the next part mostly written; it's just a matter of typing and editing._


	22. Chapter 22

_Hey, long time no see! Go ahead and READ! I'll put updates at the bottom for anyone who's interested. **Please Review! :D**_

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**Chapter 22**

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Matt furrowed his brow as he entered his apartment, immediately recognizing the faint sound of badly hidden cries. His feet carried him through the kitchen automatically as he followed the sound of sharp breaths trying to overwhelm the tears. _She heard the door._ He knew these noises all too well, from months of coming home to his mother crying, months before the divorce.

"Is that you, Hikari?" There was a sharp breath from around the corner, swallowing the sound of soft tears. He dropped his books on the counter and crossed the kitchen, turned the corner into the hall.

"M-Matt," The girl's weak smile did nothing to hid her red eyes, or the trashcan half-filled with tissues sitting beside her. "TK's at basketball, but he'll be back in, in forty-five minutes or so." Her arms were wrapped around her knees, her fingers gripping unconsciously at the fabric of her jeans while her back pressed (what looked like painfully) into the frame of the bathroom door.

"You okay?" Kari shook the hair from her eyes slightly, as though that would make the pain in her face less noticeable.

"Of, of course. W-Why wouldn't I be?" Her smile widened slightly but in no way strengthened. The joints in her fingers turned white with pressure.

"I don't know," he took a few steps down the hall and crouched down, arms on his knees, until he was almost level with her eyes. "Why wouldn't you be?" She seemed to give up, finally letting pain flash in her eyes.

"Y-Yolei got my photos printed," she murmured, closing her eyes, "a-all of them." She reached to her side and handed him a thick, colorful envelope. "There's a-another one, too. I, I haven't opened it yet." The tears were slowly entering her voice again, flooding out her voice.

He opened the envelope carefully and slowly flipped through the shots. "These are really good." She shrugged slightly, tears drowning her throat, and he noticed her hands were shaking now. He sighed as he lowered himself the rest of the way to the ground, settling beside her against the wall.

"Seriously, though, Hikari," he moved through some more photos, studying the colors, the depths, the angles. Not one appeared to be from the same place or the same day, a jumble of favorites from the past two or three years. "I don't know much about photography, but-" He stopped as hit the more recent pictures: TK and his friends at basketball practice, Davis grinning goofily at the camera, a black and white of Ken's fingers wound together with Yolei's, and…

"I didn't know he took those," she whispered softly, tears mingling with her words.

_Kari's sleeping face, her cheek against a strong shoulder, TK's shoulder, revealed the next photo. Kari curled in his arms, a slight smile on his brother's face as he looked down at her._

"A-And the next ones," her voice shook worse, and he flipped through the photos faster, confused. "I-I was helping him with a school project; w-we had the tripod set up. T-The project photos must be in the other envelope." The first few were hard to make out, just a blur of brown hair against white and dark blue cloth. They cleared slowly, forms emerging from the confused colors, presumably as his brother worked out the controls.

_TK's arms wrapped around Kari's waist, his chin on her head. TK's hands locked around her thin shoulders, his face beside hers. A blush creeping into Kari's face as TK leaned down, an inch from her face. TK's nose pressing into her cheek. TK's fingers playing with her hair, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth._

"They're sweet, Hikari."

"No, no, they're not; they're not even real, a-and Yolei acts like he-" Tears fell even faster now. "They're just a bunch of fake smiles he puts on to make other people feel better."

Matt reached his arm around her and began to massage her shoulder gently. "That's not true."

"Matt, you know he does that!" Her neck turned so she faced him, her eyes burning accusingly. "You know he hides stuff just to make people feel better." He studied her quietly for a moment before answering.

"So do you."

"That's not the same," her voice was soft again, "I'm not as…" _Important, _he finished mentally and frowned; _she was going to say important. _She shook her head as though trying to clear it; "There aren't any pictures of him worrying about me, or getting upset over me, or-" she choked.

"You're worried about him worrying about you?" He smiled slightly, but her tears didn't soften.

"You've seen him, Matt. You know how upset he gets, a-and you know how hard he tries to hide it for me. H-He should b-be playing basketball and messing around with his friends, a-and," her words dissolved into tears for a few moments, and Matt reached his other arm around her, hugging her against his side.

"Easy, Hikari, easy."

"A-And instead, h-he spends all his time worrying about h-how much I'm eating, a-and I can't pull myself together even f-for one day for him! I-It's not fair," she shook her head, "h-he shouldn't have to deal with me. H-He sh-should be happy." Matt tightened his hug for a long moment, sighing as her sobs continued.

"He is happy." She shook her head.

"This is happy? Y-You've seen him when I cry! Y-You've seen the way he looks every time-" She finally gave up, giving in to the tears completely now, twisting closer into Matt's arms as he offered them.

"He cares about you, Hikari," he murmured calmly. Her head shook again and he frowned. "He does," he repeated, "and after all of the horrible things you've been through I'd be worried if he didn't get upset." He sighed and tried again in a softer tone. "Listen, you don't…" he paused, thinking through his words carefully before speaking, "You don't have a good scope on all of this. TK's life hasn't been perfect; he's got nothing on you, of course, but there've been plenty of times over the past few years when he's wanted you there, not just the other way around. And I don't say that to make you feel guilty," he added, "Because I know that's how you think, and it isn't your fault, but you've got to realize that you're giving him something, too."

"That's rediculous, Matt, I-"

"You haven't seen him in three years," he spoke over her suddenly, and she choked on another round of guilty tears. "I have," he continued, keeping his voice raised just enough to be heard, being careful not to show anything that could be confused with anger, "and you have no idea how much of a difference you've made. It's like… he acted happy at that other school; he did everything he was supposed to do, but nothing was real until he saw you again. Yes, he gets upset when you get hurt, but it's real. When he's upset it's because he cares more about you than everyone he's known and everything he's done since he moved, all three years put together.

"And he is happy; it's hard to believe you don't see that. And it's real happy, not just some kind of act he puts on for mom and dad… and me." Kari leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes, tears falling more slowly now, but still fairly steadily. "I'm sorry," he murmured, "I'm not very good at this stuff; it was always…" He drifted off, trying not to think of fragile, trembling girl's older brother.

"You miss him, too," she whispered as her arms wrapped around his waist, her face pressing into his sweatshirt. He was silent for a second, caught off guard by her sudden show of concern.

"Yeah, I do," he paused, "but he had better have a damn good reason for not being here for you."

"You sound like your brother," she whispered, shoulders still trembling with tears.

"And yours," he answered. He closed his eyes as her tears worsened slightly again, and he tightened his arms around her thin shoulders. "I'm sorry."

"You haven't heard from him, either?" she whispered through tears.

"No, we fought about something a couple of days before the accident… a girl, I think. I just figured he was angry with me, I never thought to check in on you" he watched her as he spoke, watched her shaking against him, "And TK blames himself," he said, slightly sarcastic, shaking his head and sighing. "I'm really sorry." She shook her head, and they sat there for a long time, awash in old memories, hurting together. "I'm really not very good at this," he said when she shifted her head on his shoulder, tears finally almost gone.

"I think you are." He smiled slightly, eager to pull the pair of them out of the painful memories.

"TK's set the standard pretty high when it comes to you."

"TK sets the standard high for everyone." He looked down at her.

"He's a good kid, Hikari, but I don't think he'd be spending all time over here for just anyone." She was silent, unresponsive. "He'll be back soon," he added, glancing at his watch. "Would you like something to drink?" The girl's breathing was still slightly odd, too high a pitch to be normal.

"Mhm," she nodded.

"C'mon," he loosed his arms from around her and helped the small girl to her feet as he spoke, "I used to make TK this horrible herbal tea when our parents fought, tasted terrible, of course, I didn't even know to put sugar in, but it always calmed him down."

"Tai brought me apple juice," she whispered, "for nightmares." He looked down at her again, confused as to what she wanted.

"I have juice, if…" She shook her head.

"I meant… You're better at this than you think you are... And you're still here." She appeared to have run out of tears for the moment, but she seemed to be grateful for his hug when he wrapped an arm around her. She stiffened then, though, as if she had said something wrong, and tried to correct herself. "That, I mean, it didn't come out… I don't want you to think that you have to be here for me when-"

"If all of this was reversed," he cut in gently, "you know he'd be bringing TK apple juice for his nightmares, too. And not just because of something he owes you or me. Because even though he spent half his time chasing him and Davis away from you, he cared about TK a lot. Like a brother."

"But I'm not TK, Matt," she whispered softly.

"No, you're not," he agreed calmly. "You're Hikari," he paused to wrap his other arm around her before continuing slowly, "And you're as good as my little sister, more now than ever." Brown eyes looked up at him, the same brown as the girl's brother's, and he smiled gently through the pain they brought. "What kind of tea would you like?"

* * *

_A Matt Chapter! POV surprise, right? I'm not sure how good my Matt is, though; I felt like maybe he talked to much for Matt, but he is in college, now._

UPDATES!  
- Volleyball went on forever, but it was cool since we came in second in our league and got to go to semifinals at districts (which is especially cool since my school has never even gotten past the first game in districts before this year)  
- NAtionalNOvelWRItingMOnth was supermegafoxyawesomehot. I actually finished EARLY (on November 25th - happy thanksgiving) with 52,769 words! You should all do it next year, or sign up for Script Frenzy with me in April.

**Please Review! :D**


	23. Chapter 23

_So... I guess I haven't updated in a while (sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry). Midterms just ended today, so hopefully I'll be able to update more often (that'swhatyousaidlasttime), at least until my English teacher gives us another huge assignment. Anyhow, go ahead and read! (and review!)_

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**Chapter 23**

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TK heard a chuckle from over his shoulder. "Exceptionally subtle, TK."

He glanced over his shoulder to roll his eyes at his brother, "She was helping me with a school project, Matt," but the other blonde continued, still amused.

"I heard that's what you told her. What class is that for, exactly?" An irritated noise escaped TK's throat, and he snapped the laptop screen down, hiding his new desktop picture.

"Oh, shut up." TK sighed irritably and stood, running a hand through his hair.

"It's okay, you know-"

"Matt-" TK glared at his brother, trying to cut him off, but Matt ignored him.

"-for you to fall for her." TK felt his jaw stiffen, fighting back the spark of anger in his mind.

"What would make you think that I-" He stepped across the kitchen towards the fridge, avoiding his brother's eyes and attempting to ignore his next words.

"Other than that look in your eyes every time she walks in the room? Other than your holding her hand at every possible moment? Other than your renting movies constantly so she'll stay up late and fall asleep next to you instead of in her bed? Other than your suddenly renewed interest in reading or the report card on my counter that says you went from complaining about your C in math to an A to B+ average across the board? Other than-"

"Even if I felt that way, Matt, Kari…" But he couldn't think straight to finish his sentence, her face too present and his memories too prominent in his mind. He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair as he pulled a jug of iced tea from the fridge.

"She likes you a lot." TK dismissed that argument immediately.

"She's been my best friend for forever, and I'm the only kid who's bothered to ask her how she's feeling in three years, of course she likes me. Likes." TK spoke slowly to the glass he was pouring iced tea into, hiding his face from Matt.

"And I suppose that's how you feel, too." Her face was still in his mind, her chocolate eyes clouding his thoughts. TK paused for a second, thinking of a way to avoid the question.

"You know that I would never-"

"Would never what? Let Hikari know that there's someone in the world who really cares about her? Who'd be crushed if something were to happen to her?" TK furrowed his brow and looked up at his brother.

"She knows that I care about her."

"More than half the time she can't even figure out why you bother to give her a hug when she's crying, TK," Matt said darkly, sending a pang through TK's chest. "She certainly doesn't believe that you care about her. Not in the way you do." TK was silent, trying not to think too hard about that. She knew that she mattered to him, of course she did. "Loving her won't hurt her, TK."

"Showing it will," TK returned the iced tea to the fridge, avoiding his brother's gaze and attempting to suppress his thoughts of the girl, "and I can l- can c-care about her fine from here."

"You don't know that," Matt shook his head. "You've helped her so far. Where is she now? Helping paint sets for the school play? Doing something she's really good at? The kind of thing she should've been doing for the past three years, and it's because of you." TK rolled his eyes.

"It's because possibly the only nice girl in the entirety of our school saw her drawing on her notebook yesterday and invited her, Matt, and I won't put that in jeopardy because of me."

"I can see what this is doing to you, TK; it's killing you to have her this close without-" Anger flared up finally, and he met his brother's blue eyes with his own.

"I won't do something stupid and selfish just because I don't know for sure it will hurt her!" He slammed the glass of iced tea into the counter, and liquid splashed across the granite. He shook it off his hand and let out a cry of frustration, glaring down at the glass.

"Maybe it'll help."

"'Maybe' isn't good enough, Matt! I'm not going to push myself on her like that, not unless I'm one hundred percent certain it'll help her… o-or if she asks me," he added quickly as he turned to find paper towels, feeling some of his angry mask slip away.

"You know she would never do that, TK, and you were a hundred percent certain taking pictures of you playing with her hair and holding her hand would help her? Really? One hundred percent?" Her face was more prominent in his head than ever, not so good memories flashing in his mind's eye.

"And it didn't, Matt! J-Just because she makes me happy doesn't mean it works the other way. Sh-She hates those pictures." Emotion broke into his voice for a second, and he looked away, angry with himself now. Matt's voice was gentler when he continued.

"I'm not sure that's true, TK."

"You weren't there." His brother sighed, but the older boy's concern only fueled the thoughts in TK's mind; he could see her crystal clear in his head now, like she was right there with them, crying her heart out. His chest contracted painfully as he took a breath.

"You can't help her if you're hurting, too, TK. You can't ignore what you need, or you'll end up as hopeless and neglected as she is."

"You want me to stop worrying about her?" TK stared down at the counter, clenching wet paper towels in his hands and trying to focus on his breathing, which became rougher and more painful by the second. The idea was ridiculous, not just terrible and unthinkable, but utterly impossible.

"I want you to stop ignoring your own problems and to let her help you. She can see when you're upset, and she's not going to listen to you if you won't listen to yourself." TK shook his head and swallowed hard against the emotion that had built up in his throat.

"I'm losing her, Matt."

"What?"

"I, I-I'm losing her. There are days where she won't even look at me for hours, o-or when she locks herself in her room and says she's doing homework but I know she's crying - I can hear her through the door, b-but she won't talk to me." The memories were painfully vivid, making his breathing more and more strained. "I-I'm scared that, if I just make one mistake… it takes next to nothing with her Matt."

"There are still good days, TK," Matt spoke gently, and TK felt a warm hand on his shoulder, "and they're nearly always because of you, because you relaxed a little and let her know you care. Those days when you spend all your time worrying and won't admit it, that's when the guilt gets going in her head, when she starts convincing herself of all kinds of things."

"Th-That doesn't always work, Matt, and when it does-" His voice wavered and pain ripped through him; Kari was the one who was supposed to get upset, not him.

"She doesn't want to be lied to, TK, and when you do, it only makes her question what else you're lying to her about. You can't help her if you're falling apart on the inside, TK. You can't tell her how great everything is and then spend all your time hurting for her." TK's phone chirped cheerfully.

"I need to go pick her up." He swallowed and wiped the burning from his eyes with the back of his hand, still angry with himself for getting this upset. "Are there more paper towels?"

"I'll get it, TK. Just throw those out and wash your hands."

"Thanks," he murmured, heading for the sink.

"TK?"

"Yeah?"

"At least think about it, okay?"

TK didn't answer, just swallowed hard again, dried his hands, and grabbed his keys from the counter.

* * *

_I have most of the next chapter typed up, so hopefully I'll have another few days without homework, and I'll be able to get that up online._

_DephsXylex: My user name's the same as it is here, but without the second "1". I'm super excited for Script Frenzy. :)_

_As always, please review! :D_


	24. Chapter 24

_Okay, guys, so it looks like I kinda failed at the whole "posting soon" thing again, but at least this chapter is a little longer! Have fun!_

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**Chapter 24**

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TK could hear the water running when he got in the door; _she must be in the shower, then._ His heart fell slightly; he had wanted to talk to her right away, to make sure she was feeling okay as soon as he could. He set his gym bag on the floor and rinsed his water bottle out in the sink, wondering how she was feeling now. The phone rang as he was drying his hands, and he picked it up, hoping it wasn't Yolei, who had taken to calling him to complain about his lack of any romantic confessions.

"Hello?" he asked reluctantly.

"Hey, TK, it's Matt; did you just get in?" TK winced at his brother's voice; he had spent quite enough time talking to him that day.

"Mhm, the traffic was bad."

"Did you win your game?"

"Yeah, we did," TK replied absentmindedly, "listen, how was Kari today?"

"She seemed fine, maybe a little quiet, but she didn't seem upset or anything. I made her dinner, and she ate okay. Why?"

"I just wanted to make sure; I twisted my arm weird helping her clean up paint cans when I picked her up from school, and I had to stretch it out right away because of the scrimmage. I didn't want her to feel bad."

"Well, you can ask her, but she looked okay. She was about to get in the shower when I left." TK furrowed his brow, listening to the steady stream of water coming from the bathroom.

"The shower?"

"Yeah, she had just turned the water on."

"When did you leave?

"I don't know, maybe two hours ago? You left early for the game, right? So maybe more like two and a half?" TK's mind raced, trying to come up for a reason for a two-hour-long shower. _Maybe she just left the water running, that could be it, couldn't it?_ The feeling in the pit of his stomach told him otherwise.

"I'll call you back, okay?" He spoke low and fast and didn't wait for an answer from his brother, hitting the red 'end' button as quickly as he could find it. "Kari?" he called as his feet moved unconsciously towards the hall. "Kari?" he repeated as he reached the bathroom door. "Pretty girl?" Worry began to tug at his voice, and he called louder now, making sure he could be heard above the water. No answer. "C'mon, Kari, just let me know you're okay. The sound of running water continued uninterrupted. He reached his fist up and knocked on the door, but it swung inwards, wide open, it hadn't even been shut all the way.

He looked down automatically, averting his eyes from the shower, but there were no clothes in the room, like she'd undressed or even planned to get redressed, and air was as clear even with the fan off, no steam. He raised his eyes to the bottom edge of the shower, and they caught on a familiar pair of sneakers, soaked entirely through. He'd bought those for her yesterday, just an old pair from a thrift shop since she "didn't want to get paint on anything nice." The shower door stood wide open, letting water soak the mat outside. He took a step forwards slowly and felt cold water splash on his arm. _Cold._ "Kari?"

She was curled up in the corner beneath the showerhead, completely clothed and completely drenched in the icy water that spit out onto his arm. Her body shook violently, half crying, half shivering. There was a long moment where he couldn't think, couldn't breathe. _Why? _his mind whispered, _Why is she hurting again? _Familiar anger burned past the pain building in his chest; she shouldn't have to feel this way, no one should. "Kari what the-" He bit back the rest of the sentence and swallowed hard against the rage in his chest. "What do you think you're doing?" His hand slammed into the knob that controlled the water, cutting of the icy rain. A whimper sounded below him, and he knew she'd felt the anger. Guilt pulled at him, melted any remaining anger, but he couldn't think straight enough to let her know he wasn't upset with her. He could see her fingers trembling as they curled into fists. "Kari… what…" He spoke softly, incoherently, any angry edge gone from his voice now. He couldn't think; he could hardly breathe through the tightness in his chest. "What… pretty girl…" Her skin was pale from the cold water, making her bruises stand out even more harshly than normal. She winced as his knees came down hard on the granite, but he hardly felt the shock of pain that shot through his legs. He could see the goose bumps on her arms now, the tiny drops of water that clung to the hair on her arms, the swirling green and yellow and blue discolorations of her bruises, and very, very briefly her red eyes, tears dripping down her cheeks.

"What's wrong, pretty girl?" His voice faded with every syllable, became softer and softer as he watched her shiver on the cold, glassy back. He swallowed and forced another whisper from his throat. "The truth, okay?"

"I just- I-I can hear him. A-All the time. I can hear him." She drew her knees against her and wrapped her arms around her legs, her fists pressed into her knees, letting out a soft sob before speaking again, her tone slightly different, like the last time she had had a nightmare. "That's right, you cry. Cry and hide up in your room with those damn letters of yours. Pretend I'm the one who's lying to you, that that idiot boy cares anything about you, that he honestly thinks your worth anything. Don't you think about turning it off!" She winced terribly, as though afraid of being hit. "It's the least you deserve, and maybe you'll wise up and do us all a favor and drown yourself. There's a real present for your idiot boyfriend. Drown yourself, stupid girl. Rid the world of another-"

"Stop!" TK choked, unable to hear anymore, to watch any longer. The pain was too much, too strong. "Stop," he begged. "Please, stop." He swallowed again, but a tear still made it through, rolling down his face before he could stop it. His hands reached for her automatically, finding holds on her tiny shape and pulling her drenched body against his warm one, looking for comfort as much as attempting to give it. "Please."

"TK, I'm- I didn't mean-" He shook his head, and she fell silent as she cried, reaching her arms up and around his neck and leaning her face into his shoulder. It took him too long to clear his thoughts enough to slide his left arm under her knees and lift her from the floor. When he did, the world swam for a moment, and he had to squeeze his eyes shut to refocus his vision and keep from dropping back to the floor. He took a cautious step forwards, and the world remained stable as he lowered her to the counter along the edge of the sink.

"If I-I…" he swallowed again as he pulled a towel from the bin beside the sink, running a shaking hand loosely through his hair. "If I take you to your room," he brushed the towel over her face first, across her forehead and over her trembling blue (_Blue,_ he thought, slightly nauseous.) lips as gently as he could manage, "do you think you can get changed on your own? I mean-" he furrowed his brow as he scrunched he ends of her hair in the towel.

"Y-Yeah." He moved to her arms, running the terrycloth from her shoulder to her wrist and back a few times. It caught on the bandages on her forearm, and he furrowed his brow at the soaked gauze as another shot of pain ran through him, hadn't she been through enough? Quietly, he peeled the tape from the soaked material and tossed the bandage in the trash, gently patting the area with the towel.

"We'll put new bandages on later, okay?" He tried to meet her eyes in confirmation, but she wouldn't look at him, tears rolling down her face. "O-Okay. You, you should take your socks and sneakers off here, I'll put them in the dryer, all right?" She nodded and reached down for the laces, her arms trembling violently. "I-I'll get them." He touched her hands with his when her fingers fumbled on the knot, and he dropped to his knees to remove the paint-splattered shoes. His hands shook too, though, and he had to pause and lean his forehead into her ankles for a moment to regain control over the pain. "There," he murmured and rose to scoop her up into his arms again.

She didn't feel any drier, and her body still trembled with the cold as he set her down on the edge of the futon. His heart and lungs seemed to tremble in time with her body, sending pain through his chest and making it near impossible to breathe. "J-Just pajamas or something okay? Something warm. And take the tape off your side; it won't do any good wet. W-Would you like something warm to eat, o-or to drink? Hot chocolate, or tea, or something?" She nodded, rubbing her eyes with her injured wrist.

"Tea would be nice," she whispered, and he nodded as he backed out off the room slowly, studying her face, making sure she would really be okay to be left alone. _I can't lose you, not now._

"Just a couple of minutes, okay? I'll come and check on you." She nodded, and he shut the door gently. He wasn't surprised when tears leaked past his eyes, when a soft breath caught in his throat as he walked to the kitchen, his hands trembling almost as badly as hers had been. He forced himself to go through the motions of making her drink, heating a mug of water and finding a teabag and sugar, all the while tears burned at his eyes and anger built up in his body. He wasn't surprised at the tears, but he was still frustrated by them.

_She's the one who should be crying, not you. She's the one who's hurt._ It didn't feel that way though, with his breathing forced and painful, with her tears playing and replaying in his mind until his head and chest throbbed with the hurt he felt. A tear fell into her tea and he quickly wiped his face; she would be out of her room at any second, and she didn't need to see him this way. He found a spoon and mixed the sugar in, swallowing the last of his tears and forcing the pain to stay in his chest.

"Thank you." Her voice was soft, barely audible even in the silent apartment.

"No problem," he replied gently as he turned to face her. Her eyes were on the floor, where he expected them to be, but her hair was pulled back from her face into a ponytail, keeping her wet hair off of her neck. "Are you warm enough?" he asked her, studying her flannel pajama pants and what he realized was his thick cotton sweatshirt. She nodded quietly.

"D-D'you mind that I-" She gave a sort of gesture to his sweatshirt, and he shook his head.

"Of course not, so long as you're warm enough, Kari." She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand, and every second of the last fifteen minutes played back through his mind. "C-C'mon, pretty girl."

His left hand found her right while his right carefully picked up the mug of tea from the counter. He led her to the other room very slowly, carefully massaging her hand in his own. Her fingertips were the coldest, and covered in tiny wrinkles from the water. Silently, he lifted her fingers to his lips and slowly exhaled, bathing them in warmth. She looked up at him for a second then, a tiny ghost of a smile flickering briefly on her face, and he repeated the action on her other hand before guiding her to the couch.

She sat tentatively, not meeting his eyes again even when he wrapped a heavy blanket around her shoulders and sat down beside her. "He did that to you," he spoke quietly. It wasn't a question; he knew it was true. She leaned into his side cautiously, as though afraid he wouldn't return the gesture, but he accepted her into his arms as soon as he could. She nodded quietly against his shoulder. "And that's what he said to you, when he-" She twisted closer, shivering as she nodded, and he swallowed hard. _You won't cry again. You have no right._ "A-And those were my letters." His voice broke slightly, and Kari nestled closer into his chest. He lifted her into his lap now, pulled her as near to him as he could manage, his fingers knotting automatically with the fabric of the sweatshirt she wore as her breathing tickled his neck softly. "Why would you…?"

"I-I don't know," she whispered against him, cold skin brushing his neck, sending a rush of heat through his body. _How dare you feel that way now, _he thought angrily, but the water had taken only the warmth, none of the softness, from her skin, and his body reacted the way it always did. He gave into it this time, was selfish and held her closer. "I-I was tired, and I hurt you, a-and I felt bad, and then your mom called." He could hear her tears again now, could feel them fall onto his chest.

"My mom?" he asked, beginning to rub her shoulder gently.

"She's really, really worried about you, TK. Sh-She left a message, o-on the machine, right after Matt left."

"And you thought you hurt me? That it was your fault?"

"It was."

"No. No, it wasn't, Kari. I just picked up some paint cans wrong; you didn't do anything wrong, and I was fine; I played tonight, didn't I? And we won. And even if it had been your fault, Kari, I would never want you to do something like this to yourself, okay?"

"I'm sorry," she whispered through her tears.

"I'm not angry with you, Kari. You don't need to apologize."

"Y-You are angry, though. Y-You were yelling wh-when," her tears worsened again, and he frowned as he rubbed warmth into her shoulder.

"I wasn't yelling at you. I was yelling at… I was angry that you could be hurt, not because you did something… I mean, I don't want you to do that again, but I know you wouldn't want to do that either if you weren't hurting so badly, if you didn't feel so alone." She choked on tears again, and he leaned his face down by hers and found her small hand to wrap it in his. Something was wrong, though; when his fingertips brushed over her palm to weave his fingers with hers, the skin was hot, not cold. "Kari…" She pulled her hand away, tucked it between her side and his chest. "What's wrong? Did I-?" She shook her head, tears falling faster against him. "Can I see?"

"Y-You d-don't want-" She buried her face in his sweater, muffling her sobs.

"I want to make you feel better." Tentatively, she pulled her hand out from between them and let him pick it up in his own. Her skin was an angry red, swollen around an arc-shaped series of deep indents the center of her palm. He brushed his fingertips lightly over the puffy skin and frowned worriedly. "Pretty girl, did you…" He folded her fingers down gently, found where her nails would meet her palm if she made a fist. "You did that on purpose?"

"I'm sorry. I was just trying to calm down," she whispered, and the tear he had sworn wouldn't fall dripped down his face. He swallowed hard and brought her hand up to his mouth for the second time that night, this time pressing his lips softly against the angry red skin. "TK, I'm sorry; I-I never thought…"

"You don't need to apologize, okay?" His voice came out ever so slightly shaky, and he hugged her against him. "I know how terrible everything is for you; I know it must hurt worse than I can possibly imagine. Just… I-If things are getting really bad, to the point where you can't handle it all, that's fine, okay? Don't think that you can't get the help you need, because I'll do everything it takes, if what Matt and I can give you isn't enough, I'll make sure you get everything, the- the therapy a-and the doctors and people who can give you the attention that-"

"I don't want attention, TK." A pang shot through his chest.

"I know you don't." He wondered if she noticed the emotion in his voice. "But you deserve it." He swallowed when she remained silent. "C'mere." He leaned back, pulling her with him, onto his chest, tucked into his arms. "The point is that I'll get you what you need if you ask me, the second you ask, without question… no matter what that means for me… even if… even if it means I'll have to go back to writing letters again." His arms wrapped more tightly around her, snug on her waist.

"I can leave, TK, i-if you want me to."

"Did I say that, pretty girl?" The tears were even harder to hold back now, the pain in his chest rising into his throat.

"You don't always…"

"Did I say that?"

"I'm sorry." He could hear the lump in her throat, strangling her voice.

"I don't want an apology; I want you to understand that I care about you! I don't ever want to lose you again; I can't even imagine waking up tomorrow and not being able to make sure you're okay, to tell you good morning and give you a hug, to- to do this." He hugged her body against his. "I want you here, Kari, more than anything, but if you need more than what I can give you, you don't need to feel bad; you're not offending me or anything. I just want you to be happy again, no matter what. And I don't ever want you hurting yourself."

"It doesn't make sense," she whimpered, but she nestled closer to him, letting him lean his nose into her hair. He sighed.

"Do you want some tea?" A nod. He shifted her in his arms and leaned her head against his shoulder, so that she would be able to hold the mug he handed her. Her tears slowed gradually as she drank, and her eyes drooped lower and lower as the warmth penetrated her exhausted body. He took the cup from her quietly as she finished and gently pulled her with him onto a cushion he leaned against the arm of the couch. "Close your eyes, pretty girl," he whispered as he pulled her close, tucking her against his chest. She didn't listen, though.

"You're mom is really worried about you."

"Please try to sleep, Kari," he pleaded softly, leaning down and letting his lips brush against her forehead.

"You should go home." He shook his head.

"I won't leave you alone. I won't let you feel like no one cares; I care."

"If you just went home during the week, and then stayed here on the weekends…"

"Today was a weekday, Kari. I told you I wasn't angry, but if you think I'm going to leave you by yourself and let you feel this way, you're wrong. Self-injury is serious, and I'm not going to mess around with it. I'd never forgive myself if you were to-"

"J-Just the days when Matt will be home all night, then. That's only four days a week."

"I want to be with you, Kari. It's not just about the bad days; I want to be here for the good days."

"I don't want her to worry."

"You'd rather me worry?" A guilty cry escaped her lips, and a few tears leaked from her eyes again as her shoulders began to shake. "No, no, pretty girl, I didn't mean that. Please don't cry." He hugged her body against his. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad."

"Please?"

"Not tonight."

"Tomorrow."

"Maybe," he pulled her close and rested his chin on her head. "Just try and get some sleep, okay? You look exhausted." She nodded against his sweater, and within a few minutes her breathing slowed and her tired muscles relaxed in his arms. "Sweet dreams, pretty girl," he murmured, wondering if he could honestly expect them both to make it through another two weeks.

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_Oh, I almost forgot! Those of you who read the last chapter right away may have missed a few paragraphs in the middle, the document preview was acting all kinds of crazy when I uploaded it. I'm pretty sure it's fixed now. Also, it got rid of some edits, and I had to re-type these italics a bunch of times, so I missed some stuff. (Like "thank you"s for the "good luck on exams"s)_

_As always, please review! :)_

-love


	25. Chapter 25

_Oh my goodness, this took me forever. I had lost the original rough draft until a few days ago, and then I had to combine it with some new stuff, bleh, and I haven't had time to type it up (one of these honors classes is seriously going to kill me). Anyway, it's done now, so read and review! :D_

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**Chapter 25**

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He hated this. This feeling of not knowing, this feeling that she could be shivering under the showerhead again or crying her eyes out over something one of the girls at school had said. It was almost worse than discovering her like that. Almost. Nothing could be worse than watching her hurt.

"Kari?" Not in the living room. He hated the way his breathing came ever so slightly faster, like he couldn't quite get enough oxygen. "Pretty girl?" Her science book lay open on the countertop. He hated that, too. She'd had a test or a paper due every day for a week and still forced him, between sobs over her math book, to leave at ten at night to go home and refused to ask for any extensions ("It's my fault I haven't been keeping up with-" "It's _his_ fault, Kari! You can't be expected to keep up with three AP classes when you're already spending all your energy trying to work through all the-" "J-Just g-go home, TK! Y-Your mom," and then she dissolved into tears and pushed away any additional attempts at comfort.)

He didn't want to check the bathroom, but he did it anyway, holding his breath unconsiously as he pushed the door the rest of the way open. It was empty, though. "Pretty girl," he called again, louder. She wasn't in her room, or Matt's. That was the whole apartment. "Kari, please," he didn't know how to finish it, the anxiety was worse than ever. _She wouldn't leave the apartment, would she?_ Images of her began to form in his head, of her broken, sobbing body in an alley somewhere or back at her apartment with him standing over her.

_The balcony._ He held onto the thought as if it were actually her. _Please, please, Kari, be on the balcony._ He hadn't thought of it right away, since Matt had hidden the doors behind floor-length curtains and had never, to TK's knowledge, even used the small porch. It took him a second to figure out the latch on the door. When he did, he pulled the door so hard it left a mark as it smacked into the neighboring wall. The shoulders of the small brunette girl on the porch contracted at the harsh noise. The small brunette girl. Relief was not a strong enough word for what TK felt rushing through him.

She sat on the concrete floor, her legs between the rails, dangling off the edge. There was a crumpled tissue in her left hand. He braced himself for the pain that came with her tears (_It's worse for her,_ he reminded himself.) "Kari?" Her shoulders shook slightly, and he swallowed. _You should never have left her alone, not after all that happened on Monday. _"Are you okay, pretty girl? Did the test not go well?" He took a step towards her cautiously.

"What? N-No, the test went fine, I got maybe one wrong." Something was wrong, her shoulders were trembling and he could see the crumpled tissue in her hand, but he couldn't hear the tears in her voice.

"Pretty girl, is…"

"Hm?" She glanced over her shoulder at him, and he furrowed his brow. Her eyes were clearer than they had been in days, free of the all-too-common red and resulting swelling. She hadn't been crying, but then…

"You're shivering," he frowned. "What are you doing out here in short sleeves?" She shrugged, and a small, embarrassed smile pulled at the corner of her lips.

"Just taking a break from homework. It's a nice view." Her eyes flickered towards the skyline, the tall buildings washed in an orangey sunset. It was a very nice view.

"You have a cold?" he asked, still confused. She noticed the tissue in her hand.

"Oh, no. I just, the cold makes my nose run a little." She stuffed the tissue into her jeans pocket.

"Y-You're really okay?" he asked cautiously, too afraid of her pain to relax right away.

"Yeah," she nodded and gave a small smile as proof before turning back to the skyline. When was the last time she'd smiled this much? He watched her for a few seconds, waiting for her to start crying, but the tears didn't come.

"D'you mind if I sit with you?"

"'S fine," she murmured.

"But you won't let me give you my coat," he added knowingly. He could hear the smile in her voice when she answered.

"Probably not." He ducked back into the house briefly and returned with a blanket. Kari shivered violently as he crouched behind her and laid the warm fleece over her shoulders.

"You're freezing, pretty girl." She shrugged shyly as he lowered himself to the ground beside her. His legs weren't small enough to fit between the rails the way hers did, so he sat cross-legged with his right shoulder against the bars, so he could see her face.

"I didn't mean to… It helps, to be outside, to watch all the lights…" She leaned forward and let her forehead press into the metal bars. He watched her eyelashes brush against the metal, imagined what they would feel like tickling his skin. _Cut it out._ "I used to… to go back to your apartment building, to the roof. I still have your key. I spent the night there once or twice over the summer, on the really bad nights. I know that was stupid," she added, "but after a couple of years with him…"

"You weren't too concerned about your physical safety anymore." She shook her head, and he sighed. It hurt as badly as ever, thinking about what she'd been through.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I… I get it. I probably would've… Jeez, Kari, your hand is-!" He had moved to put his hand on hers, wrapped tight around a bar in the balcony, had felt her pale, ice-cold fingers.

"It's not that- ow," she winced as he pulled her hand from its grip on the metal and encompassed it in his. She whimpered as he reached over and took her other hand, too, pressing his warmth into her skin.

"I'm sorry, pretty girl, but I'm not gonna let you get frostbite. C'mere," he pulled her gently into his lap as she slid closer, disentangling her legs from the cold metal bars. He pulled the blanket tighter around her and pulled her close into his chest. She leaned her head obediently against his shoulder. It felt significantly better than it should have.

"I didn't do it on purpose, TK," she said as he wrapped her cold hands in the fleece blanket. "I mean, I wasn't trying to-"

"I know," he leaned his lips down to her ear, leaning his nose into her hair. They were silent for a moment, and he watched the orange light play in her eyes. He'd seen this orange light before, nearly a month ago, dancing on Kari's apartment building as he waited for someone to answer the door. Pain roared in his chest as the memories began to bombard his mind, forcing him to swallow hard. "You should talk again," he whispered.

"About what?" He shrugged.

"Anything, I just like to hear your voice." He smiled briefly through the pain when she blushed.

"I like your sweater." The smile formed unconsciously on his lips this time.

"Yeah?" He ran a hand through his hair. She nodded against him.

"You were wearing this the other day, when…" her voice dropped out for a second, and he knew exactly which day she meant. _She goes through all this and still manages to pay attention to something as silly as your sweater, just to make you happy. _"It brings out your eyes." He had picked her right hand up in his and begun to play with it absentmindedly, weaving and unweaving their fingers and tracing shapes into her palm and wrist. "And it's really soft." He leaned his nose into her hair again, near her ear.

"I'll have to wear it more often, then." She blushed slightly, and he grinned. _Adorable._ They were silent for a while, as she watched the city and he watched her.

"Y-Your brother said something the other day," her voice shook as she shivered, and he frowned.

"Let me," he dropped her hand and began to rub her arms through the blanket, using the friction to warm her.

"Your brother said that… there was some stuff that you went through, too. While you were away. If you ever wanted to tell me anything; just don't think that you can't talk to me because you think that I have enough to deal with or something. I want to help you, if you need it."

"Kari…" He began gently.

"You don't have to tell me," she spoke across him quickly. "I mean I'm not trying to make you-"

"Take it easy, pretty girl." He stopped rubbing her arms and hugged her gently. "That isn't what I was going to say. We can talk, if you want."

"If you want," she corrected softly. "If there's a reason you haven't brought it up…"

"It just seemed so stupid after everything that you went through." _Because it is. It's idiocy next to the kinds of things he did to you. _He opened his mouth and then closed it again, unsure of where to begin. He picked her hands up again out of habit. "It's going to sound so…" _Disgusting? Egotistical? Ridiculous? All of the above. _He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "When I moved, things were kind of bad, I guess. My mom was really busy, and I didn't know anyone, and I was just sort of lost. And I missed you," he added. "A lot." He leaned his nose into her hair and inhaled deeply, reminding himself that she was here now.

"So it was weird," he continued, "when I got to school and everyone thought that I was something special. You're still really cold." She shook her head.

"I'm fine. Finish your story."

"It was just… I was really popular all of a sudden, with everyone."

"So?" He fixed his eyes determinedly on a spot on the railing.

"So everyone includes a lot of girls." She laughed softly, and he frowned when it turned into another shiver. "Maybe we should go inside." She ignored him entirely.

"That's your big secret?" she asked, an amused smile on her face as he studied her cold body worriedly, "That the star basketball player had a few girlfriends?"

"No… I mean, it wasn't a few; it was a lot, and it was wrong. I didn't tell you before because I'm embarrassed to have- I didn't treat those girls like people." He felt anger slipping into his voice. Kari looked up at him, her big brown eyes worried, and he realized how that must have sounded. "I don't mean that I- I mean, I broke up with every one of them after like the second kiss, but I didn't care about any of them; I only dated them because…" he swallowed and didn't finish. "It just… it became a formula; I knew when to hold their hand and when and how to kiss them and how to break up with them and still have another girl come running in a few days. It was disgusting." His voice raised slightly.

"They knew what they were doing, too, TK."

"I know that, Kari, but that just means that I was stooping to that level, going out with a girl just to go out with a girl. Going out with girls who didn't care about me just like I didn't care about them, because that's what people do. Standing by and listening to them talk about other girls the way people talk about you." His voice weakened slightly. "You never would've put up with that, even then. You've never lost sight of other people's feelings, even with everything you've been through." The shame was excruciating. He wanted her to pull away from him, to refuse to let him touch her. This was why he hadn't told her.

"I'm not perfect, TK."

"I know that, and I know that most other guys were… a lot worse than I was, but… I-I want to be the kind of guy that girls like you can trust to really care about the important stuff. I've always wanted that, and when I moved I let you down."

"You've never let me down, TK."

"Yeah?" he whispered, self-disgust tainting his voice as he traced the still too-fresh marks on her wrist.

"TK," she pulled her wrist out from his hand and looked up at him, her eyes a little watery now. Those eyes had him in an instant; there was nothing he could do.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry; you're trying to help and I… I'm just a little frustrated, okay? I don't want to think that there was nothing I could do to keep you safe. Please don't cry."

"It isn't just you against him, TK. I hurt myself by going back there."

"I want it to be just me against him, then. I don't want you to-"

"I know. You never let me down," she said quietly, leaning her head into his shoulder again. He wrapped his arms more tightly around her waist in response and laid the side of his head on her shoulder. He closed his eyes and felt her against him, the softness of her skin where they touched. He wanted her here like this forever, wanted to hold her in his arms and watch her smile and blush at the things he said, free of hurt, free of sadness. They were silent again, for a long time, until Kari gave a soft laugh as TK played with her hand. "That tickles." He smiled quietly.

"You know what you said before, about not knowing how to make me feel better?"

"Yeah."

"You just have to smile." She blushed. "Kari?"

"Yeah?" He leaned over her shoulder, so that his lips were next to her ear.

"I like it when you're happy." Another rush of pink flooded her face. He should have pulled back then, helped her to her feet, and made her come inside to warm up, she had been outside for far too long. But her smiles had given him a strange confidence and her sweet-smelling hair tickled the side of his face, tempting him. Not to mention the dimming orange sunset that made her eyes light up in a way he hadn't seen in ages. _It won't hurt her_, he thought. He didn't wait for reason to catch up with him; he pressed his lips into the corner of her jaw as soon as he could. The pink in her face darkened substantially. He shouldn't feel good about that, the reaction on her face, or want to do it again. He certainly shouldn't want to do more, to tilt her beautiful face towards him, kiss her lips, and feel her curves against him, explore them with his hands. Her voice interrupted his thoughts, saved him from making any more mistakes.

"I like it when you're happy, too."

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_Okay, now for a few minor anouncements...  
1. I didn't do script frenzy. D: I know. I'm a loser, but my english teacher decided to put these huge weekly writing assignments in for the fourth quarter. (Which I should really be working on right now.)  
2. There are about four (more likely less, depends on how long they end up being) more chapters left!  
3. (Please don't hate me, but I don't want this to be a surprise in the last chapter.) I know when Tai comes in. I know when and how and why he comes. I have part of it written. But he doesn't come until after the main story takes place. So he won't be in these last few chapters. However, if you guys want to read that, I can put it up either as an extra chapter at the end or as a seperate one-shot type of deal.  
4. (Related to #3) I have some other stuff, too- Meeting TK's Mom, Christmas, TK and Kari arguing over college arrangements, that kind of stuff, that I wrote to help fill things out in my head. So again, if you're interested, I can edit and upload after I'm done with the main story, but if not, that's fine! I just wanted to put it out there since I'm not sure what I'll work on after this is done._

_Thank you so much for reading! Please review if you can! -love_


	26. Chapter 26

_Okay, this is ridiculously late, but at least it wasn't exactly my fault this time. The document got corrupted, and then my computer totally died, and it took a while to reinstall all the programs, and then I finally had to retype the whole thing (thankfully I had printed it out)! Okay, you can read the story now :D (Please Review!)_

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**Chapter 26**

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He went to her room first, peeked in from the doorway and waited for her shoulders to rise and fall a few times as she slept. _She's fine._ He had known that, of course, somehow, but relief still came rather dramatically as it flooded his chest. He walked back to the living room and shuffled through his duffel bag, grabbing sweatpants and a tee shirt before heading to the bathroom.

He undressed and pulled on the navy sweatpants. This was stupid, really, getting out of bed and dressed, only to drive over here and get changed into pajamas, but he knew he that he would not have fallen back to sleep over there. He stopped to splash some water on his face and run a hand through his hair. _She was fine, of course she was._

He was just reaching for his shirt when he heard the sound. Something between a scream of terror and a cry of pain. The next one was worse, louder. _Kari. _Panic rose in his chest, and he tore out of the room without bothering with the clothes he had left on the floor. The tears started just as he fell to his knees beside her, strangling the screams in her throat and making the cries even more panicked. He found her face in the dim moonlight and tried to push the hair from her eyes.

"Wake up, pretty girl. It's just a nightmare. C'mon, I'm here." He could sense the difference immediately, could hear and feel the change as she woke. More tears. His hands were soaked in second as the hot liquid poured from her eyes. The screams stopped, but they were instantly replaced by sobs so violent they forced the small girl into a huddle on her side. Pained noises escaped her throat now, too, mingling with the sounds of fear and sadness. They were softer, quiet whimpers at the pain he knew must be shooting through her still injured side. Every sound hurt, each cry sent new pain through his body. "Easy, don't hurt yourself, Kari. C'mere." He began to lift her into his arms, nearly had her against his chest when she suddenly stiffened.

"TK? N-No, you went home. Y-You weren't supposed to-"

"I had a bad dream, too," he murmured gently as her tears began to send familiar pangs of pain through his chest, but she was shaking her head, pushing away from him hurriedly. He felt his heart beating in his chest, too fast, nervous. "Please be careful, pretty girl," he pleaded softly, really scared now, but she fell onto her side as she tumbled from his lap, and the cry that escaped her lips was worse than ever. He reached his hand out, but she pulled back further, retreating to the far corner of the futon. Stinging rejection rang through his whole body; hurt tugged deep in his chest. She didn't want him to touch her, to hold her. _Why? _Guilt surged through him as well, now, as soft whimpers and sobs came from the girl who was nearly three feet from him now. "What's wrong, pretty girl?" His voice came out a little weak.

"TK, what are you doing here?" Matt's voice startled him slightly as it came from the doorway. "You didn't drive over here in the storm, did you?" Kari's sobs worsened slightly. "Hikari, here," Matt pressed a small white mug into the crying girl's shaking hands, but she set it down immediately, her fingers trembling too badly to hold the cup.

"What's that?"

"Matt, please…" The sound of Kari's voice sent knives through TK's chest. Why wouldn't she talk to him?

"I'm not going to lie to him, Hikari. It's tea."

"But you had it ready. How did you know that she'd…"

"It helps her calm down, after the nightmares." TK understood now. Anger flared quietly in his chest.

"'The' nightmares? As in…" Kari managed to interrupt him through her tears.

"I-I didn't want you worrying, TK. Th-They a-aren't even that bad." Why did she always try to lie? He glared at his brother.

"She's been having these every night? And you didn't tell me?" He felt his voice rise in volume dramatically; she wouldn't like that, but he didn't care.

"What? So you could overreact and-"

"Overreact?" He didn't remember standing, but he found himself towering over his brother with the added height of the futon. "She was screaming, Matt! What the he-" "TK." There was a subtle warning in Matt's voice: _you don't want to start swearing at me, not in front of her. _He hated that he was right. "If it had been this bad before, I would have told you, okay? You're right; she can't put herself through this every night, but the dreams weren't this bad a few days ago; tea was more than enough to calm her down. She gets upset seeing you stressed over her, and she's on edge enough as it is." TK ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes for a moment.

"Y-You have to tell me." His voice dropped to a normal volume again. "I can't find out like-" He realized they had been talking around Kari this whole time, and looked down at her, felt his voice soften. "One of you has to tell me, Kari. I'm sorry about yelling; I shouldn't have done that, but I get upset when I see you hurt like this. I don't want you to have to deal with this stuff on your own." She didn't answer him, but she seemed ever so slightly less stiff, like she might allow him to touch her now. He kneeled beside her, and, sure enough, she let him lay a hand gently on her shaking shoulder.

"You don't need anything?" Matt asked, taking a step towards the door. TK shook his head.

"Do you need anything, Kari?" She shook her head against her knees. "Is it okay if he goes back to bed?" She nodded, and Matt ducked out the door, leaving them alone.

"Y-You ca-an go b-back to bed, too," she whispered through tears. He ran a hand through his hair again; she couldn't really think that he would leave?

"I wouldn't sleep any," he paused. "Please come here." He pressed gently on her shoulder, and she turned into him slightly, letting him wrap an arm around her as she sobbed.

Her tears were the kind that scared him. They were the kind that only ended when she was literally incapable of continuing and that resumed the minute she recuperated the energy needed to cry. They were the kind that he was almost never able to pull her from, that tore her apart for hours and hours, and that could resurface again and again for days.

"Please, Kari, please…" He held her close. The pain was building in his chest, aching in him. "Don't cry. It hurts to-"

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm so sorry. I-I'm trying to-"

"I know; I didn't mean... Don't apologize; just let me help you." She cried into his shoulder, and he realized that he had never put on his shirt. "Please, Kari, let me help you. Tell me about your dream." He rocked her back and forth a little, trying desperately to soothe her.

"Y-You want me to-" He squeezed his eyes shut at the pain.

"Yes. Yes, Kari. I really, really want you to." She held her breath for a few seconds before trying to talk.

"I w-was h-here, a-and He came, a-and you were gone, and He f-found me and," she cried for a few seconds, "a-and then I closed my eyes, a-and I was at my dad's accident, and I opened them, a-and He hit me, a-and it hurt, and I-I closed them, and- I-I could feel the rain; i-it was cold, a-and then I-I could feel Him hurt- a-and instead of m-my dad i-it was-" She was sobbing again. TK held her close and tried to work through the story.

"Instead of your dad, what?"

"I-It was y-you. I-In the car," she cried. "Y-Your head was bleed- I-I could feel the rain."

It was like a blow to the stomach. The rain. He repeated it softly aloud. "The rain. Kari, I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot; I never even thought about-"

"It's fine," she cried, but he shook his head.

"No. No, it isn't. You kept saying it today, that the weather was bad. It was raining the night…?" She nodded, and he shook his head in disbelief. "Both your parents, a-and I went out in the worst storm in years. I'm so…" How could he be so stupid? How could he do that to her? Put her through all those memories again? "I'm here, though, okay? Nothing bad happened, and I won't drive back home tonight, or any night, if you ask, okay? I'll be careful. I won't leave you alone; I'm here." He hugged her tight to his chest as if to prove his statements. "I'm still here." It was a long before she made any attempt to answer, but she cried with less force and seemed to relax a bit in his arms. When her voice finally came it was soft and shaky, but at least not a sob.

"It's your turn," she whispered. He frowned.

"What?"

"Why did you come over?" Of course. She was worried about the one thing he wasn't. Why did that surprise him?

"I already told you, pretty girl; I had a bad dream, too." He said it softly, trying to alleviate the concern in her voice.

"D-Do you," she choked on tears this time, and he ran his hand up and down her arm soothingly.

"Hey, hey…"

"I-I know I can't help you l-like you help me, but I don't know what else- I just want you to be okay, and I don't know-"

"Sh… What gave you the idea that it doesn't help me to talk to you? We talked the other day, didn't we?" He held her close, and she nodded. "You know that helped me. And when you smile," he leaned his face down close to hers," that helps me a lot." He could tell she was trying to smile, could see the awful effort in her chocolate eyes, but she only managed a soft whimper. His chest throbbed. "Oh, Kari…" He leaned his nose into her hair, inhaling her scent. "You know I didn't mean you have to-"

"Wh-Why did you come over? What was in the dream that upset you?"

"You, pretty girl." He closed his eyes and shook his head; she could be so blind. "Our bad dreams can be remarkable similar sometimes. I just needed to see that you were safe." She was quiet for a long moment, save for her tears. "You okay?"

"Mhm." She nodded into his chest, and her lips brushed his skin. _Soft._ "I-I'm here, too," she whispered. He closed his eyes and sighed.

"Only barely."

"I'm sor-"

"Don't say that. Just try to calm down; try to feel better, or tell me how to help." Her arms wrapped around his waist, and he eased her closer as she buried her face in his chest. He swallowed as her eyelashes tickled his bare skin and tried not to feel her cool hands on his back.

"I'm tired."

"You should lie down," he answered, rubbing her back gently, but she shook her head against him. Eyelashes, lips, tears. His chest tightened with effort.

"I don't want to go back to sleep." She trembled slightly, like she was scared.

"Kari, I told you; I'll stay here. I won't go back out in the rain."

"It doesn't matter; i-it's the dreams that- they're so real. I can feel everything. I felt the rain; I felt Him cr-" she stopped, and he rubbed her back, begging the pain to leave her.

"Sh, sh, it'll be okay. You can't stop sleeping, Kari. Everything gets harder when you're tired; I can tell."

"But-"

"But the nightmares, I know." He felt helpless; what could he do to stop dreams? "Is there anything that helps?" She shrugged, and then her shoulders went limp; her head dropped another few inches, into his stomach, as her tears worsened again. She was so tired. "How about I sleep outside the door, and you wake me up if they come back? I know that won't help during the dream, but… I mean, not until you calm down…" He couldn't think straight like this, her lips and hair and tears against his abdomen. His head rushed a million directions at once.

"TK?" she whispered, breath tickling his skin, already damp with her tears. _Damn it, Kari. _He could almost feel the rush of hormones enter his bloodstream.

"Yeah?"

"D'you think you- Would you mind staying here? J-Just until I-"

"Would you like me to stay here?" A nod. "Okay, let me go and get another blanket, all right?" He was grateful for a chance to escape for a second, to run a hand through his hair and clear his head. _She needs you. You can't think that way. _She was crying harder when he returned with the blanket and a pillow, and the pain rushed back full force. He knelt beside her carefully. "Hey, what's wrong?" Without thinking, he pushed the hair gently from her face and tilted his face down to hers, leaning his nose into her cheek and rubbing her neck gently. _Don't do that, it feels too good._ She leaned back into him, though, the side of her face in his neck, and he closed his eyes at the conflicting emotions it brought.

"'S embarrassing, making you stay here with me. It's like…" Her face was hot from crying for so long; he wanted her to lie down, to close her eyes, to let him stroke her hair until she fell asleep.

"Why would you be embarrassed, Kari?" He rubbed her back gently.

"It's stupid, I just… It's like I'm trying to- I-I see the way the girls at school act around you, and I don't want you to think that I'm…"

"The girls at school?" he asked, confused. Why couldn't she just close her eyes? Why did she have to torture herself? The pain in her voice killed him.

"Yes, the girls at school! Y-You can't tell me- Zoe practically-"

"That girl who asked me out on Tuesday?" Kari suddenly seemed to try to stop crying, like she needed to be happy for him right then.

"Sh-She… When are you…?" He blinked.

"I'm not." The tears were back again, instantly.

"What? B-But she's so pretty, and she plays basketball, like-" He furrowed his brow, knowing he couldn't answer that. It was stupid to have mentioned it at all.

"I don't understand, pretty girl. I know there are some girls at school who are a little… overenthusiastic, but it's only because I'm new. It'll wear off in no time. A-And what I said the other day, about those girls, I don't do that anymore, okay? I swear."

"This isn't about- It's not just going to disappear, TK. You're- That's not what… I just don't want it to seem like I'm doing that. I know you've got a thousand other girls much-" She started coughing, and he held her closer, trying to calm her down again.

"Hey, hey, sh… I still don't understand. I can talk to them, if you-"

"No. No, i-it's none of my business who you're friends with." He frowned.

"You're my best friend, Kari. It kind of is, at least a little bit." She shook her head.

"I just don't want you to think that I'm trying to be one of them; I'm not-" He panicked suddenly, could she know-?

"I know you're my friend, if that's what you mean, but that has nothing to do with some girls at school who'll just as soon jump to the next new guy."

"They won't though, TK. You're… I just-" He furrowed his brow and cut her off.

"I'm what?" he asked. "You said that before, too."

"You're… you're not just anyone, and they know that. Y-You're smart and polite and athletic a-and handsome." He tried not to think about the way her lips brushed his skin as she spoke those words. He tried not to picture whispering compliments back against her neck, about letting his lips explore the softness of her throat. Heat rushed to his face as he failed. "A-And you can have a-any of those girls. I know that I wouldn't, wouldn't stand a chance." The pictures and thoughts and feelings were gone. He felt sick.

"Why would you say that?" She was crying harder again, and her face dropped down into his shoulder. There was an excruciating emptiness in his chest, pain and terror together in one. He started to repeat himself, louder. "WHY-"

"Because it's," she began weakly.

"Don't you say it's true! Don't you dare! Because it isn't." Pain. Pain that made him sick and brought tears to his eyes. He could feel his hands shaking on her back. He could feel three words pounding in his head, three words that proved her wrong, three words he couldn't say. He tilted his face down to meet her eyes and settled for two. "It's ridiculous." Painful disappointment replaced the anger, and tears burned at his eyes as he pulled her tight against him, burying her in his arms, hiding her in his chest. "It's absolutely ridiculous." He pressed his lips to her forehead briefly as she cried, but her sobs only worsened at the show of affection. He shook harder, trying to control the emotion in his chest. "C'mon," he pulled her down onto her bed with him, so they lay on their sides, and lowered his lips to her ear. "Sh, sh, it's okay; just take deep breaths. It's okay." _I love you._

He'd work so hard not to think those words, and now they pounded in his head, begging to escape. _How could she think that? How? I love her. I love her! _They ached, they burned, they spread to every inch of him and controlled his body when they couldn't control his lips. They made him pull back and tuck a pillow below her head and draw blackest around them both. She was hiding her face, cowering shamefully in the pillow, when the words made him lie down beside her and slide his arm below her waist, follow her free arm with his other hand and weave their fingers together. This was too far. They were too close, and he was wearing too little; he should have gotten his shirt, but it wasn't as though he could hurt her. It would kill him to see her in any more pain than this.

"It hurts," she cried, and he knew what she meant. He felt it, too. Pain didn't cover it. It was agony. "It hurts."

"I know," he whispered and drew her close against him, his arms around her, her shoulder tucked below his chin. He wanted to make it stop, would do anything to make it stop, but he was helpless. He hated it. He loathed it. He loved her, and she shouldn't feel like this. He was still shaking. He held onto her, trying to stop. "I-I know, but it won't be forever. I swear it'll stop someday. I'll make it stop." He squeezed her hand tight in his. "But today… just don't think about it. Think about your books or our movies or something else, something that doest hurt. I, I can read to you; do you want me to-"

"D-Dear Ka-ari," she choked out weakly. "I-I hope y-you're doing well. H-Happy Birthday!"

_She memorized them. She memorized the letters_. Regret ached him him, throbbed in his chest on top of the agony already torturing him. The things he could have said, the things that could have really made a difference. _One 'I care about you.' One 'You're beautiful.' One 'If the man your mom remarries starts beating the crap out of you, you really ought to let someone know.' _

"I-I'm sorry I wasn't able to v- to visit, maybe we can meet up halfway o-over Christmas I'm sending you my bus schedule, so you can check yours, too. A-Anyway, don't w-worry," her voice broke a bit, and a shooting pain burst through him, "I-I still g-got you a present. I'm sending y-you a book one of the girls in m-my class was reading and said was good; i-it's called…" Her tears had slowed slightly, but her breathing came hard and fast, so she could no longer speak. The pain in his chest was unbearable, but he still managed to swallow it and finish for her.

"I-It's called The Book Thief, by Marcus Zusak, hopefully you haven't already read it, and hopefully she isn't wrong." He kept his voice gentle, trying to imitate the way he'd written it. "In case she is, though, I'm sending a gift card, too, so you can pick some of your own." He paused, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to remember the next words. "I got my own copy of The Book Thief, so we can talk about it next time I see you. Call and let me know if any of the bus stops would work for you. I miss you loads. Love, TK." He left a pause for a few seconds before finishing. "P.S. You should send a picture the next time you write. I miss your face, pretty girl!" She was squeezing his hand now, so tightly it had begun to hurt, but he didn't care, and he certainly didn't want her letting go.

"Thank you." Her voice was faint, but her tears had finally stopped, and he the pain had subsided enough for her exhaustion to take over. He could feel her against him again, her lungs expanding and contracting slowly as she breathed, her heart beating steadily beside his. He held her closer in response and waited for her hand to relax in his.

"I love you," he breathed thoughtlessly when it happened, but she was asleep, then; it didn't matter anymore. "I love you," he repeated, thinking very hard about it this time, feeling her against him and forgetting anything else, "a-and I'll make the pain go away. I'll make it stop someday. I promise." Their bodies were close enough that he could feel her pulse, and he counted the beats silently in his head until he fell asleep. _1. I love you. 2. I love you. 3. I love you. 4…_

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_I actually have more that was going to be combined with this, but it got pretty long, and I figured you guys had waited more than long enough, so just add another short chapter to the estimate. I don't know why I picked The Book Thief, I think I was reading it at the time I originally wrote that part, but it is really good. Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed, please review!_


	27. Chapter 27

_Hi guys! I really thought that I would be putting this up about a week ago, but I was away for two weeks and it got extended to three. But I'm here now, so read! :D_

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**Chapter 27**

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"TK, hey, my alarm just went off." TK grunted and twisted his head into his pillow, eyes still closed. Kari's hair tickled his skin. _Kari's hair. Kari._ The night's events washed over him again, accompanied by a rush of emotions. _I love you._ He still had his arms around her, he realized, but she must've moved in the night. Soft, warm breath tickled his shoulder as her chest slowly rose and fell. "Kari usually gets up about now to take a shower." TK winced at his brother's voice; he suddenly wanted Matt out of the room, to be alone with her again. He wanted to keep his eyes shut and feel her small body in his arms, breath dancing against his bare skin. _Jeez, that feels good._

"Y-Yeah, okay. I'll get her up." He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to forget everything but her, but his brother wasn't finished.

"TK?"

"Mm," he grunted.

"Get a shirt on, all right?" TK rolled his eyes behind their lids.

"Sure thing." He twisted his head sideways on the pillow and opened his eyes once he head Matt's steps fade into the kitchen.

Kari's forehead rested against his collarbone, and her right hand lay limp on the bed with its side brushing his stomach. _Are you having good dreams now, pretty girl?_ He moved slightly, so he could watch her face. Her eyelids were puffy again from crying all night, and there were dark rings under her eyes from lack of sleep, but her face still made his heart melt; she was so beautiful. Not that her swollen eyes didn't hurt to look at, they killed him; more than anything he wanted to kiss her closed eyes and just let her sleep. All day, staying with her in case she had any more bad dreams. After all, recovery from an abusive stepfather, near starvation, and terrifyingly real nightmares certainly seemed to him grounds for at least one day off from school, but she would be upset. He had tried to get her to take off before, when she had first started staying there and when she had hurt her side, and she hadn't even considered it.

"Kari," he spoke softly. "Pretty girl. It's time to get up, okay?" A tear dripped down her face almost immediately, and his chest ached with guilt. _One day off wouldn't have hurt her._ He stroked her hair gently. "I'm sorry, were there more nightmares?" She shook her head in his shoulder.

"Just tired." Her voice shook a little, though, and a few more tears ran down her face. He'd never felt so horrible in his life. He tried, just in case.

"You can stay home, if you'd like. You didn't get any sleep, and you could use a break." She shook her head again.

"I-I don't want to get behind." She reached her hand up to wipe her face, but he beat her there, brushing the tears away with his fingers. Her skin was so soft. "Thank you, a lot, for staying with me last night. I'm sorry," she added, pulling back a few inches, so her forehead no longer rested against him.

"No, 's fine," he answered, putting a hand on her forearm and rubbing her skin with his thumb. "You don't have to thank me." She was silent for a second, and he added, "but you can give me a hug, anyway, if you'd like," smiling a little. She returned a small smile, and quietly reached her arms up around his neck. He pulled her closer and closed his eyes, trying to make the moment last. He took a deep breath in her hair and felt her body against his, felt the ache for her rise in him. _Stop. Stop it, _he thought, but he didn't. She pulled back first, blushing and muttering something about his needing to put on a shirt.

"Please, I know you like it, pretty girl."

"You think I like it," she corrected, but her face was pink as she elbowed his stomach playfully and sat up. He followed her slowly and yawned, stretching his arms out and laying one over her shoulders not-so-slyly.

"My stuff's in the bathroom. I'll get it out so you can get your shower, okay?" He squeezed her shoulder gently and hugged her against him, but she remained a little stiff, like she was nervous.

"Yeah… TK?" she asked hesitantly.

"Hm?" He lowered his head closer to hers (_To hear her better, of course_, he rationalized).

"I… You were really upset last night, about my not telling you about the nightmares, so I thought… I wouldn't bother you, but I know…"

"You aren't bothering me. What's going on?" He looked her in the eyes, but she immediately glanced away.

"I've just… been having trouble, some nights, thinking about… stuff I don't think you'd like me thinking about, you know?" He was afraid to know, but his mind conjured up ideas, each one worse than the last. "I don't want to do anything that you wouldn't… so I was wondering if you could maybe call me sometimes, before you go to bed, just to… you remember when I was still staying with Him, when I called, just to listen?" Her fingers shook a little bit in her lap, and a pang shot through his chest when he realized how scared she was, as though he might reject her.

"Yeah. Of course, Kari. Anytime, all right?" She nodded quietly, and he could see her eyes welling up. He hugged her again. "I mean anytime, even four in the morning on a Tuesday night, okay?" I'll come over, too, if that helps at all. And thank you, for letting me know; it's not good for you to try to work through everything by yourself." She shook her head a little.

"Thank you." He could tell that the words were for a lot more than a few promised phone calls. For being her friend. Her friend. The sincerity in her voice made him angry with himself again. _Her friend, not her boyfriend, so get your damn head on straight._

He fought hard against kissing her forehead before getting up and grabbing his things from the bathroom, but he couldn't keep doing that; it meant too much to him. He walked into the kitchen to find Matt making their lunches. "Shirt," his brother said immediately, and TK rolled his eyes as he pulled the tee shirt in his hand over his head. The bathroom door shut, and he heard the water sputter in protest as the shower started. Matt shook his head, "I know I agreed to all this, but if you two start sleeping in the same bed, I'm calling mom." He was kidding, of course, but the jab hit a sore spot.

"Shut up, all right, Matt? It won't happen again." Matt frowned.

"TK, are you-?"

"I wish she would just get upset at me, just once, even about something stupid, so I at least knew that she would care if someone hurt her or..." He ran a hand through his hair and sat at one of the stools beside the counter.

"You aren't hurting her T-" He was sick of that, sick of other people acting like they knew how bad things were with her. Anger bubbled in his chest, both with his brother and himself.

"Stop it, Matt."

"Stop what, TK? Why can't you just-" Matt was annoyed, now, too.

"You were right, okay?" he snapped. "You were right about part of it. I love her. Does that make you happy? I love her, and there's no way I can ever..." Tears burned his eyes. Matt paused.

"Did you tell-"

"Of course I didn't. She'd have…" He closed his eyes; he didn't want to have this conversation. He shouldn't have even told Matt that; it had just come out. He was too tired.

"You honestly think that she'd turn you down, TK? That she'd say no? She cares about you more than you realize, and-" A tear made it past the corner of his eye.

"No. No, I don't think that, and that's the whole stupid problem, Matt!" He swallowed. "She wouldn't say no. She couldn't. Because her stepfather screwed her mind up so badly she thinks that she's worthless, that she can't afford to turn anyone down, that I'm some kind of saint and deserve anything or anyone I want, whenever I want. She'd give herself to me in a heartbeat, Matt! Does that sound like a healthy relationship to you? I could take advantage of her without even- and I don't even mean… just kissing her a way she doesn't like, or saying something and accidentally pressuring her to be someone she's not, or..." He swallowed. "She'd do all of it, even if it hurt her. She's been through too much, and I care too much about her. I can't risk being the one to do that to her. I can't," he repeated, telling himself.

"TK, I know it wouldn't be simple, but if you just talked about this stuff with her…"

"You don't hear her, Matt, talk about herself like she's worthless, like I shouldn't even be wasting my time having a conversation with her!"

"If you make it clear how important this is to you," his brother began. Why couldn't he just drop it? TK's eyes ached with tears and exhaustion.

"She doesn't listen, Matt, or else she doesn't believe me. We both know that!" A few tears dripped down his face now. Silence fell between them for a long time.

"So, what, TK?" Matt asked, aggravated. "You're just going to pretend this isn't killing you?" TK swallowed hard, but replied calmly.

"For as long as I can."

"Takeru, you-!" Matt's voice rose, and TK prepared himself for a lot of yelling, leaning his elbows down on the counter to hide his eyes, which he knew must be red now, but his brother's shouting ended there, and after a few seconds he felt a warm hand come to rest on his shoulder as he cried silently. "I know you're doing what you think is right; that's good, but don't give up hope, okay? He had her for three years; it's going to take a while for her to figure things out, for both of you to figure things out. Just because things are bad right now doesn't mean they will be tomorrow."

TK squeezed his eyes shut as his tears splashed onto Matt's counter and chuckled. "You don't have to worry about that. I'm stuck with the hope whether it kills me or not."

Soap stung her eyes, and the burning broke the barrier she'd formed in biting her lip. A sob tore from her throat, and she squeezed her eyes shut as she leaned her forehead against the smooth granite wall. She could still feel his arms around her, his chin on her shoulder, the places his breath had brushed her skin. She choked on the pain the memories brought. Good memories. _Too good,_ the voice in her head reminded her._ Pretend._

Her throat felt too tight, and she started to cough; she couldn't breathe. She held her throat she as pain raked through her chest. Bile burned her mouth, and she forced a gulp of air down and held her breath for as long as she could, attempting to slow her racing heart. _"Sh, sh, Kari, 's okay."_ She shook her head in the granite, trying to stop the memories of blonde boy's voice. Yolei's came instead, distracted as she looked through the photos on Kari's camera. _"He can't keep his hands off you, Kari." _She hit her head against the glossy wet stone. _Stupid._

It all felt so real, when he was there, the hugs and the compliments and the promises, but the second he left all the feelings he kept at bay came back in a rush, and she remembered. Remembered her face, her body, her mind, all of it stupid and ugly and worthless.

Her forehead throbbed where it had hit the granite, and she felt the itch entering her palms, the ache entering her wrists, the emptiness entering her shoulders, all begging for pain – a scratch, a cut, a hit. The fear followed quickly, rushing through her veins. Fear of the things she felt, the things she wanted. She rubbed her palms up and down on her hips, trying to soothe the overwhelming itching in the centers of her hands. _He doesn't want you to. TK doesn't want you to. _Her breathing came too fast again, too hard. _"__Think about your books or our movies or something else, something that doesn't hurt__."_ She sobbed; all she could think of was him, how much she wanted his arms around her again, how good they felt, how safe they made her feel, and that's what hurt the worst. Helped the most, when he was there, and hurt the most when he was gone.

She wished Yolei had never said anything about them. Not that she ever quite believed those things, but she came too close, and it amplified the feelings that were already there. The excitement in her chest when he took her hand, the rush of heat to her face when he complimented her, the relief that flooded her whenever he was near her.

Her tears came harder than ever, and her knees gave out, slamming her into the floor. The pain felt good, and she choked on the sob in her throat, sending her into another coughing fit. _TK doesn't want you to. That's why you asked him to call you. You asked him to call you. How dare you ask him for anything? _Her fall shook the shower slightly, and a few shampoo bottles hit her back as they tumbled down with her.

"Are you okay, Hikari?" It was Matt's voice, not TK's. It took her a few long seconds to swallow enough of her tears to answer.

"Yeah," she managed. _You're taking too long. _She forced herself to finish washing her hair quickly, not bothering to stand, and left the shower on for a few minutes after she got out, to cover the end of her tears. She rinsed her face with cool water from the sink after she dressed, and blew her hair dry. Her eyes were already puffy from the night before, so TK wouldn't be able to tell the difference. _TK. _She held her breath again when tears threatened, forcing them away. He got so upset; he tried so hard to fix everything, every time, like each new tear was worse than the one before. She had to stop doing that to him. She opened the door and stepped out.

"You ready to go, pretty girl?" TK's voice sounded tired. Tears burned her eyes; he shouldn't have stayed up with her the night before.

"Yeah," she murmured quietly, looking up at him briefly. His eyes looked strange, a little pink. "Are you okay?" He quickly smiled her worries away.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little tired. You're sure you'll be okay today? You can still take off if you'd like." She wanted to say yes so badly, but she knew it wouldn't make a difference. As much as she dreaded another day at school, a day off would only make her work pile up and give her more time to worry and cry. Kari shook her head and dropped her eyes.

"I'm fine." A line appeared between his eyes, and she felt his fingers stroke her hair. Every touch felt so good, so comforting.

"Why don't I believe you, Hikari?" Her full name was spoken with such emotion it made tears burn her eyes again, and she practically fell into his arms when he offered them. "Kari," he began, but she shook her head, remembering herself.

"Please..." She pulled away quickly and could almost feel the hurt that showed on his face. She wasn't even sure why she said that. Please what? "W-We have to go. I-I have a quiz this morning."

"All right, we're taking my car, though, so you can rest on the way there, okay?" He took her hand in his, and she nodded. "And there're, there are only a few days left, okay, pretty girl? Break starts in two days, and then your birthday…" He seemed to give up on chitchat. "What's wrong?" She blinked back tears.

"The same things. Th-They get worse, sometimes. I don't know…" _why. _But she did know why. Why was holding her hand. "I'll be okay. Don't worry about me." She squeezed his hand to reassure him.

"I'll talk anytime you need me, all right, pretty girl? Like I said, four in the morning or two in the afternoon, and I'll call every night." She nodded and smiled a little.

"Anytime," she repeated, but she doubted now that she'd ever be able to take him up on the offer.

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_Thanks for reading! I would normally have done more editing, but I decided you had waited enough. I have a lot of the next sections written, but my main computer went down, so I have to share time with my sister now, and it might take a bit to type it all up. Anyhow, thanks again, and please review!_


	28. Chapter 28

_Hello! As has happened before, this was supposed to be combined with the next section, but I split it, because it was getting a bit long, and I like the end where it is now. Anyhow, it means that (I believe) we'll end up with two more chapters, which makes for a nice, even thirty, which will appeal to the ocd in everyone, I think, haha. Go ahead and read!_

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**Chapter 28**

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"Hey there, pretty girl," TK called gently as he entered the kitchen. Kari's soft brown hair was swept into a messy bun at the nape of her neck, and she was leaned over her notebook on the counter. He frowned. "Did someone give you homework over break?" She nodded quietly and punched a few numbers into her calculator. "You have a lot?" Her voice was soft, almost weak, when it came, the way it got when she was very tired or very sad and still trying to hide it. He would have to be careful.

"A few writing assignments, and this, but I'm on the last problem." TK sat down on the chair beside her and silently watched her finish, trying to think of a way to begin. It didn't help that everything about her was so distracting, her hand as she wrote, her eyes as they moved back and forth across the page, her chestnut hair as it fell in her face and brushed the back of her neck.

"I like it when you put your hair back like this," he told her finally, unable to shake the distraction, and tucked a few loose strands behind her ear. "You can see your face." She was silent, and her eyes remained down, studying her math work. He watched her eyelashes flutter against her skin. _Focus, Takeru. _"I was thinking," he began slowly, measuring her reactions carefully, "about all the work you've been getting. You've been under a lot of stress lately, and it seems like it might be making things worse, the nightmares and the crying and- I mean," he furrowed his brow, "I know all that's there already, and that's not your fault; it's normal after… but I just thought that it might be a good idea, I thought it might help you, to cut down on some of the unnecessary pressure you're feeling so you can focus on dealing with the stuff you don't have a choice about."

"What do you mean?" She finally stole a confused look at him.

"I talked to the office, and they said you have enough credits to drop three classes." There was no hesitation in her answer, just a little disappointment in her eyes.

"I can't, TK." He had expected this, though, and was prepared.

"I'm not asking you to stop working; I'm not even asking you to drop all three. Even one empty period would give you a study hall during the day." Her eyes were already back on her paper. _Look at me, Kari._

"I can't."

"Why can't you?" She leaned an elbow on the counter, hiding her face more fully from him. There was a deep scar just above her elbow, and possible causes were running through his mind mercilessly before he could stop them. He squeezed his eyes shut for a second, but the pain still leaked into his voice. "You're running yourself into the ground, Kari! Most other kids with your kind of classes would take at least one free period, and they don't have to deal with half the crap you do!" A tear fell onto her notebook, blurring the penciled numbers. He swallowed and laid a hand on her shoulder. "Please, Kari, I just want to make things easier. I don't like seeing you cry over your science book every night."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, and another tear hit her paper. "I'll try not to-"

"No. No, I want to know when you're upset. Please don't try and cover it up, okay?" He took a deep breath; it was hard to watch her cry and not immediately throw his arms around her; an ache began in his chest. "You're crying because this is too much, and you can't do it all, not right now."

"TK…" He squeezed her shoulder.

"Let me fix it. Just one little part. It won't make everything go away; I know that, but it can help." Her eyes flickered towards him.

"C-Can I think about it?" He relaxed a little.

"Of course you can. You can even talk to a doctor in a couple of days. I just want you to start thinking, so we can get the paperwork done as soon as possible." She nodded, and he reached across the counter to get a tissue. "Here."

"Thank you," she whispered, wiping her face. He let his hand fall from her shoulder and shook his head.

"Not at all…" He searched for a subject that wouldn't end in tears. "Yolei said she got you a dress for your birthday tomorrow."

"I didn't want a party, TK." Tears crept back into her voice again. Maybe this wasn't a good topic after all.

"I know, but Yolei did; it's really sweet of you to let her."

"It's sweet of me to let a bunch of people go out and buy presents for me when I can't even give them anything back?" He frowned.

"It's sweet of you to let people be there for someone they care about. That's all they want, Kari, to be able to say they held your hand through this thing. They can't all be with you at home and at school, like I am; Sora and Joe and Mimi and Izzy, they want to be able to come and give you a big hug and tell you they're happy it's your birthday. You would want to do that for someone else." She gave a barely perceptible nod. "And you would want your best friend to tell you what they wanted."

"TK…" He smiled this time, though.

"I still got you presents, just warning you. And now you have no right to complain if it turns out that one of them's a hideous holiday sweater or something. You're going to have to act happy."

"TK, please just tell me you didn't spend a bunch of money."

"Hey, you've had all the power here, and I've still got a good six hours till midnight, if you want to…" She gave a small smile this time, but her answer was serious.

"I can't ask you to get me anything." He knew that would be her answer, but the disappointment still stung. He sighed.

"You said she did buy you a dress?" She nodded, confused. "Do I get to see you in it?"

"Now?"

"Why not?" She slipped out of her chair quietly and disappeared for a few minutes. It was better that he saw the dress ahead, got a chance to prepare himself. Knowing Yolei, the party was probably part of an elaborate scheme to force him and Kari together, and the less that was a surprise the better. Yolei wasn't like Matt; she would happily watch him silently suffer torture until he admitted his feelings. Torture he had a feeling would soon include setting Kari up with other guys.

An upsetting series of images flashed through his mind.

_Stop thinking about it; it gets worse if you think about it, _he told himself as fresh pain started in his chest. He would deal with that when he got there. TK stood and leaned against the counter until he heard Kari's small voice again.

"I don't know if…" Her fingers appeared on the edge of the doorway, and he stepped forward to catch them, affection taking the place of jealousy.

"Let me see, Kari." He smiled and pulled her into the kitchen.

He had been right to be worried.

Yolei knew him too well.

The dress was a deep chocolate brown, matching her hair and eyes almost perfectly. The v-neck drew his eyes down her body to her small waist, emphasized further by the snug fabric above her hips and the gentle flare to the skirt below. And her legs. She'd been so careful to hide them, and he understood why immediately. He could see a few of the pale lines he knew were scars and one or two faint yellow patches that must have been some of the deepest bruises she'd sustained, but his hormones always betrayed him now, and his eyes were pulled over her soft curves – ankle to calf, calf to the back of her knee, and just a little of her thigh. He tore his eyes away and swallowed, running a hand through his hair.

"Y-You look beautiful, Kari," he half stammered, heat rushing up the back of his neck. She wasn't looking at him, though; her eyes were on the floor again, and her hand rubbed up and down her forearm self-consciously, an old habit he'd thought was gone. A familiar pang shot through his chest.

"That's nice of you to say." Pain ripped through his chest now, and he felt frustration rise in his chest at the weakness in her voice, how many times was he going to make her cry in a half an hour?

"Why do you do that?" His voice was weak, too, he realized, but it only made him more frustrated.

"Do what?" she whispered to the floor.

"Act like I'm making it up. Look at me." She shook her head, and he reached out his hand to tilt her chin up. She stiffened, and he felt another ripple of pain. "C'mon," he whispered as he touched her jaw softly, "you're breathtaking." She didn't answer, and a tear fell down her face; he almost heard it splash as it hit the floor. "What is it, pretty girl?" he asked, but she shook her head again and pulled away without an answer. "Kari," he began, but she past him, towards the hall. "Kari." He followed her and grabbed her hand, spun her around to face him. "Talk to me." His voice was weak again.

"TK, just-" Tears pulled at her words, and her arm pulled from his grip.

"Kari…" She was already in her room, door shut and locked. He leaned his forehead against the doorframe and waited a minute before trying again. "Hikari? Can I come in?" Silence, save for a few soft sobs. He closed his eyes. "I just want you to be okay, all right? I'll wait out here, and when you're ready, you can…" He sighed. "I-Is this about Him, Kari? You looked really sad today; is there something that happened, or something that's bothering-" The door opened a crack.

"I-I need a tissue," she whispered, and he complied quickly, eagerly grabbing a whole box from the bathroom. "Thank you." She was still crying, and her nose was red from the tissues. She had changed back into her normal clothes. His chest ached worse, and his arms begged to hold her, but he couldn't shake the fear that she would pull away again.

"You don't honestly still believe all those lies he told you, do you?" Kari gave a pained smile as fresh tears filled her eyes."

"Every lie has some basis in fact, right?" It was like the other night all over again. Nausea rolled through him, and pain splintered in his chest.

"No. No, I'm sick of that crap, Kari!" He wondered if he sounded as weak and helpless as he felt. "I'm not going to let you think that way." He grabbed her arm, but she didn't move. He didn't care. He bent down and caught her up in his arms, carried her into the hall.

"TK, stop! TK, please." He tried not to feel her as she clung to him, afraid of falling, as if he would drop someone as small and light as her, as if he didn't lift more than her everyday at basketball practice. "What are you do-" He set her down on the edge of the sink in the bathroom.

"Look in the mirror." Tears rushed to her eyes, and she shook her head.

"Please, TK," she cried. He tried again, softening his voice a little.

"Look in the mirror and tell me was you see."

"You don't want to hear that, TK," she whispered. She was right, but he wouldn't keep watching her do this to herself; he couldn't.

"Do it, Kari." She turned her head towards the mirror for a second, catching just a glance of herself before burying her face in her hands. "Hikar-"

"I see a stupid, ugly, selfish girl, o-okay?" Her voice broke terribly. "She can't do anything right, n-no matter how hard she tries. Sh-She's worthless, and she doesn't deserve to waste your time the way she does." Tears flooded his eyes instantly, and his hands began to shake. He had expected it to be bad, but the warning didn't help much. He swallowed hard.

"That's not what I see," he managed, throat tight with pain.

"'S because you're wonderful, Takeru." He shook his head.

"Not any more wonderful than you." She took a deep breath, and he could tell she was about to try to shake things off again, to tell him not to worry and smile through her tears, to tell him to put on a movie and try to make it all disappear. But he couldn't let her do that this time.

"TK…"

"You wouldn't say those things you just said about anyone else on the face of the planet, Kari!" She winced at the frustration in his voice. "You would never call anyone, even the most horrible, insignificant person - even Him, worthless!" She cried softly into her hands, still trying to hide her face, but it only made his voice rise further. "Why are you different? Why on earth would you be the only exception? It doesn't make sense, Kari!"

"Please, TK," she sobbed. "Please just-" He took her left hand and pulled it gently from her face, held it in his own. He wanted to hold all of her again, cradle her trembling body against his chest.

"Just try, Kari," he breathed. "Try to see what I see." He squeezed her hand tightly and looked straight into her eyes. "A beautiful, beautiful seventeen year old girl with big brown eyes that hold more pain than I would've thought possible. A girl that has no idea the kinds of things her best friend would do for her just to make her- not even to make her smile. Just to make the pain the slightest bit less." He held eye contact for a long five seconds before she broke.

"I am trying, TK! That's the problem! I've been trying for a month, and I'm tired." The end of her sentence turned into a sob. "I-I'm so tired, all the time, a-and if I sleep f-for twelve hours, I'm not any less exhausted, b-but I don't sleep that long, because I-I get so scared, at night, and I can't fall asleep, and when I do, the nightmares-" She broke into sobs again, but his mind was going in too many different directions for him to do more than to hang onto her small, soft hand and whisper her name, but she didn't hear him. She choked on her tears and then continued, voice frail and pained. "Sometimes I just- I mean… I-I don't want to, but sometimes I just wish I could just close my eyes one of these nights a-and never wake up." It was like his whole chest had been paralyzed with the fear. He couldn't breathe; he couldn't feel his heart beating in him. The night of the storm felt like nothing now, nothing next to the terror in his chest.

_She wants… She… How could you…?_

Nothing he thought made sense; he couldn't breathe; he couldn't think.

_She wants…_

"I just," she choked.

Later, all he could remember was the desperate need for her to stop talking and the desperate desire to be able to breathe again. That, and the salty tears on her lips as he crashed against them.

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_I kinda wanted to edit this a bit longer, but I always feel bad about the amount of time it takes for me to get these up. Anyway, hopefully there aren't too many mistakes, and hopefully you guys enjoy; please review!_


	29. Chapter 29

**Is this a record time between updates? Because it feels like a record to me. I am a loser, but today is the first half-day of Christmas Break, so I thought I should get a move on. There is one more chapter after this one, and it still has some work to be done on it, we'll see when I get that one up. Enjoy. :)**

* * *

**Chapter 29**

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He should have stopped then, the first moment their lips connected. He should have pulled back, apologized profusely, and made some absurd excuse that she would have immediately accepted; he knew she would have, but she squeezed his hand. Out of surprise, probably, but the gentle pressure on his fingers was enough for his tired, cluttered mind to accept and let his emotions take over.

He was gentler now that he could breathe, but still rushed, as he explored the soft shapes of her lips. His chest roared with heat, and he drew closer without thinking, his free hand moving to her waist, feeling her shape through the loose fabric of her tee shirt. He should have been surprised when he felt her return the pressure against his lips, but everything was so far from reality now; the taste of her lips, the feel of them, could only exist in his imagination, so of course she was kissing him back, quietly, softly, sweetly, in the same way she did everything.

He broke from her mouth to take a breath, but even a centimeter of distance between them was too much; his body begged for closeness, ached for it. His hand moved on her side, feeling the curve to her hip, and her soft fingers squeezed the hand they still held. He pulled close and moved to deepen the kiss against her lips. His hand slid up towards her stomach, but her shirt pulled up where his hand was, letting his fingers move for a moment over her bare waist.

For a second his veins burned with the fresh rush of hormones, and a moan rose in his throat as he pressed his lips to hers. And then, like the flip of a switch, his mind turned back on.

"No," he managed, still against her soft lips. "No, no, no." He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, felt the opposite wall as his back crashed into it. "I wasn't supposed to-" He slammed his fist into the wall behind him as guilt tore through him painfully. It was worse because it still felt so good, the memories of feeling her so fresh in his mind, the taste of her lips still on his own. "Damn it!" he swore, slamming his fist into the wall again. He opened his eyes to find fresh tears streaming silently down her face. "I-I'm sorry," he managed painfully, his throat suddenly tight. "I'm so sorry."

"Y-" was as far as she made it before bursting into sobs. He could see her shaking fingers move to form fists and then stiffly uncurl. _She wants to hurt herself, now. She wants to hurt herself because of you._ Of all of the horrible thoughts coursing through his brain, that was the worst. "Y-You d-didn't mean a-any of it, then." Her voice weakened with every word, dissolving slowly into tears. Sickening pain wrenched in his chest.

"O-Of course I meant it." She shook her head.

"D-Don't. TK- J-Just- Y-You don't have to feel re-responsible for me. You don't have to try a-and save me. I'm ugly and stupid a-and y-you don't have to pretend f-for me."

Tears leaked from his eyes even as self-hatred reverberated in his chest, and he shook his head. "Y-You're beautiful, Kari."

"Please, TK." She sounded so tired, so sad. "Stop lying for me; it o-only hurts worse when, when I figure it out. I-If you r-really thought those things y-you wouldn't b-be disgusted by the fact that y-you kissed me."

"You think I'm disgusted with- I'm disgusted with myself, Kari!" The look on her face told him that she still misunderstood him.

"Just say-" she sobbed.

"I love you," he half-shouted at her finally; it didn't matter anymore, anyway; he had already ruined everything.

"What?" He closed his eyes and began more calmly this time.

"I-"

"N-No. No, you don't. Not like that, TK, and we both know that." A fresh pain pulled in his chest when she didn't believe him.

"C'mon, Kari," he snapped in weak sarcasm, rolling his eyes a little despite the tears in them. "Why on earth do you think I spend so much time with you? Why do you think I get so angry when something happens to you? Why do you think that I drove over here at two in the morning to check on you the night of the storm? Y-You think that I would do that for anyone?" She averted her eyes as he spoke, and her trembling fingers gripped at the edge of the sink.

"I-I think th-that you feel bad a-about the stuff that happened, and I think th-that you want t-to h-help… a-and maybe you're confusing that with something else," she added in a whisper. He let the silence hang between them for a moment.

"Y-You know why I got into basketball, Kari?" he began abruptly, his voice almost angry with her incredulity. "After we moved, I used to stay up in my room for hours, lying in my bed, j-just missing you," his voice rose a little bit, and he swallowed when her cries worsened, calming himself as best he could, "a-and my mom got worried, so she signed me up for a club team over the summer, and I realized that one of the only times I didn't feel awful about the move was when I was running up and down the court, so tired I couldn't breathe, when I was too exhausted to think about you… s-so I got pretty good."

"TK…" she tried to stop him, but he raised his voice again, letting his tone slip carelessly.

"But I still couldn't play basketball 24/7, could I? S-So I started asking cheerleaders out, because it was harder to think about you when I was making out with some girl in the back of a movie theater. At least most of the time. U-Until it got even a little serious, and I started breaking down mid-date," he laughed weakly through the pain of the memories running through his head, "s-so I rotated through girls pretty quickly, as you can imagine, a-and I wasn't real keen on telling you that I'd spent the past few years using girls as anesthetics, o-or that it didn't work in the slightest, that I still lay awake at night thinking about you."

"TK," she blinked up at him, and he watched the tears that clung to her eyelashes. Quietly, she slipped off the counter and took a step towards him. Another sickening wrench of pain tore through his chest.

"No, Kari…" he murmured, closing his eyes as he gently pushed her away before she could hug him, and she began to shake terribly. "I-I don't want you to guilt yourself into doing anything-"

"Please stop making fun of me, Takeru," she whispered tearily, and he almost heard the snap of his heart breaking in two.

"Hikari Kamiya, you look at me. Am I making fun of you?" She met his eyes for a moment before bursting into sobs and sinking to the floor. He felt her slipping away from him completely, and tears rolled freely down his face now.

"I-I d-don't under-" she choked against her knees as she drew them against her body. "Y-You s-said- I want you to be happy." He tried again, softly.

"I know; y-you feel bad, Kari, but you shouldn't, and I don't want you to guilt yourself into loving me."

"B-But that's the same as what I-" she managed against her knees.

"It's different for me, though, Kari. You…" She cut him off, a little exasperated.

"H-How is it different, Ta-" she was cut off by a sudden, violent fit of coughing which morphed into a fresh round of even more violent sobs, but he hardly heard her. His eyes were on her trembling hands, and he found himself recalling the heat of her lips and her skin, the feel of her soft, quick breath mingling with his. Soft. Quick. Shallow, almost. Feverish. Fresh tears filled his eyes.

"Kari, y-you're sick." He didn't understand the pain in her eyes right away; it took a few seconds for him to connect her question with his response. "No. No, I didn't mean it like that." He ran his fingers through his hair and squeezed his eyes shut, silently horrified, as she struggled to her feet, her knuckles turning white as she gripped the counter to steady herself. _Just shut up, you idiot; she's gone. You lost her. _ But he kept trying, anyway.

"I-I, headache," she managed in a whisper and slipped past him before he could stop her.

"Hikari, that isn't what I meant." He followed her into the kitchen and watched her find the Tylenol with trembling hands and choke down a pair of small white pills with a glass of water before sinking to the ground in sobs again. "That isn't what I meant, Kari," he repeated softly from across the room.

"I-I know, o-okay? Y-you can go home now, all right? E-Enjoy y-you time off." She used that fake-happy voice now, the one she used with other people, classmates and teachers, to keep them from worrying. That's all he was now.

"You know I can't leave you by yourself when," he stopped at the whimper that escaped her lips. _I am alone, TK_, it screamed. He swallowed hard at the lump in his throat, and blinked back more tears. Her small fingers curled into fists against her knees, and he knew she was hurting herself again, all because of him, but his throat was paralyzed; every word he had said had only made it worse.

"I-I can't do this, 'Keru, all right?" she managed faintly, her tears swallowing the first syllable of his name. She sounded so young, he thought, and his stomach rolled, nauseated by himself. "J-Just-"

Kari started coughing again, and he watched mutely as the small girl struggled to her feet. She wobbled uncertainly for a few seconds, putting her hand to her head as though the headache had worsened, and he closed his eyes just as her knees gave out and she collapsed lifelessly onto the linoleum.

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**That was a horrible moment to end on, I know, but at least it's up. One more chapter! After this is done, I'll try to get some related one shots up, too. I'm thinking that I'll just start a seperate story to hold those, though, if you're looking for them. Also, I have my idea for the next legit story I'm going to work on. If anyone happens to be interested, I'll try to update my Profile/About Me/Something or Other page with info; it's another Takari, big surprise :) Thank you so much to everyone who has been reading this for forever, or whenever it is that I started it.  
-Love.**


	30. Chapter 30

_Without further ado..._

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**Chapter 30**

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A splitting headache pierced her temple as she regained consciousness. She forced her eyes open, and the empty white ceiling of Matt's apartment greeted her. Empty. Loneliness echoed through her tired body. "TK?" she whispered automatically, her voice weak and hoarse. _TK._ Memories rushed back, and she wanted to cry again. She could already feel her eyes welling up. _Stop, stupid girl. _She held her breath for a few seconds and waited for the thoughts to fade and the tears to pass. She was on a bed. Matt's bed, she guessed, with a pillow under her head and something soft covering her upper body, a small blanket, probably.

It didn't feel real. The only thing that felt real was her headache. She guessed that the pain was from not eating, but she certainly didn't feel like eating now; the hunger dulled her emotions a little, somehow. She wanted to get up and walk around, to get her mind off of the blonde boy's absence. She pushed herself up on her elbow and shut her eyes immediately when her vision spun and her headache worsened; a whimper escaped her throat, and shame rushed into her heart. _Weak._

Fabric slid off her shoulder when she moved, and she opened her eyes again. Aqua and yellow cotton lay in her lap, a zip up sweatshirt, not a blanket. A fresh rush of tears burned her eyes. Why did everything have to point back to him? _Matt probably found it in his closet or something, he …_ That didn't make sense, though. He would have used a blanket, not an old sweatshirt. At the very least he realized whose it was. _Why would he do that?_ She didn't want to think about it anymore. She swung her legs down over the side of the bed and ignored the pain in her head, ready to stand and leave, but her eyes caught on a cheerful pink and silver bag on the floor, next to a small pile of crumpled white tissue paper. She slid slowly down onto the floor, trying her best to keep her spinning head steady, and tipped the bag over. An old fisherman's hat landed in her lap, followed by small white envelope. _Hikari_, it read in familiar handwriting on the back. More tears burned her eyes, but she picked it up with trembling fingers and carefully removed the papers inside.

_Dear Hikari Kamiya,_

_ Happy 18__th __Birthday! It seemed as though you really liked those letters I sent you while I was gone, so I thought I'd try it again. This time, though, I'd like to tell you some really important things, so if you memorize it and say it to yourself before you go to sleep at night it won't just be a load of crap about how nice the weather is or how my basketball team went to states._

_ You're beautiful. I'll get that out of the way so you can't come up with any excuses about how it's-the-end-of-the-letter-so-of- course-he-thinks-he-has-to-say-that. You're gorgeous, and anyone who tells you otherwise is an idiot (case in point: your stepfather), and you need to know, because otherwise you'll fall for the first silly boy who tells you that (case in point: Me, Davis) without even thinking about whether or not he's worthy of you (he probably isn't). So that's it: your hair, your eyes, your face, your body, it's all breathtaking._

_ You're the sweetest girl I've ever met. You're kind and compassionate, and you can see the good in everyone. You're a hundred times as patient and forgiving as I am. You're not perfect, of course, but you're amazing nonetheless._

_ You're talented. You're smart; everybody knows that. You're artistic. You're reasonably athletic (even if you can't make a three pointer). You can go places, just on those things, and you have a lot to share with the world._

_ You are worth more than what you think you are. And that's even if you think you've lost everything I just listed. If you smash your face into the wall and your nose ends up crooked, if you fail a test, even a whole class, a whole year of school, if you mess up and are selfish or mean (all of which is yet to happen), you are still beautiful, still talented, and still sweet. No one expects you to be perfect. No one._

_ Speaking of which, you're hurting. Right now, you might be sad, might be crying your heart out, you might be in pain, might be physically aching from something he did to you, you might be scared, might be waking up shaking from a horrible nightmare, or you might be alone, might be hiding in your room thinking you can't talk to me or to anyone else in your life. And you might not believe a word of what I just wrote; you might have him in your head, telling you it's all a lie. That stuff will. Not. Last. It will hurt. I'm sure that it'll hurt worse than I could possibly understand or imagine, but someday you'll wake up, and you'll realize that it's over, it's gone, and I'll be there for you every day until it is, no questions asked._

_Love,_

_Takeru_

_P.S. I know you never want to take my coat when you're cold or let me stay with you when you're sad, but I figure if I just give you my old sweatshirt, you won't feel bad about wearing it or holding on to a piece of me. It's worth a shot, at least._

Tears splashed on the paper, smearing some of the letters a little bit, and the sobs rising in her chest finally caught in her throat. "Takeru," she choked out his name weakly, and the letter slipped from her fingers as their trembling worsened. _I miss you. _ Her face hurt, too, she realized as it contorted with the sobs; the whole right side of her face felt puffy and bruised. His sweatshirt fell from the bed to her side, and she slid her shaking arms through the sleeves as she cried. "I miss you." Concurrent with her stuffy nose, the tears made it hard to breathe, blocking off her throat and agitating her cough. The dizziness worsened as she coughed, too, and panic began to well up in her chest as she struggled for breath. She needed to be outside; she needed cool, fresh air in her lungs. Her quivering hands gripped at the blanket behind her, and she pushed herself to her feet, nearly collapsing again as her temples screamed in protest. She leaned on the doorknob for support and took a cautious step into the hallway. She wobbled for a moment, knees weak and tired, but her legs steadied after a few seconds, and she made her way to the kitchen.

The counter was crowded with brightly colored boxes and bags, and she heard soft voices coming from the living room. _ The party._ She wiped at her eyes and held her breath; she couldn't talk to them now. The door creaked a little as she opened it, and she closed her eyes as cool air rushed out at her, desperately hoping no one heard, but the soft hush of voices to her left remained constant, and she slipped out without incident.

The cold cleared her breathing immediately, and she took a long, deep gulp of air, her warm, puffy eyes still closed. Her legs were still weak though, and she took a few quavering steps towards the balcony, eager for its support. Just as she neared the railing, though, there was a horrible crash behind her, and her headache rushed back.

"Hikari!" Strong, warm, familiar arms wrapped around her body, pulled her into a solid chest. The comfort was instant, and heart-wrenching. She didn't want to do this again. "What the hell do you think you- You're sick; you shouldn't be out here; you'll- I thought you might've-" The concern in TK's voice brought tears to her eyes.

"Y-You're touching me," she whispered faintly, and the boy stiffened.

"Right. Right, I'm sorry. I won't do that if you don't-" His arms loosened, and the hurt and the sadness overwhelmed her again. Familiar emptiness pulled in her palms and her wrists.

"No," she whispered, tears flooding her voice. "Please, I can't." _Disgusting. Needy. _She ignored His voice in her head and pressed into his chest, and he tightened his arms again hesitantly. There was a pause.

"Kari, I…" he swallowed; she felt his throat tighten and relax, and He was in her head again. _You're bothering him. He doesn't even want you-_

"D-Did you mean those things you wrote… i-in the letter?" she asked, a sob rising in her throat.

"The… Y-You read that?" She nodded, and her shoulders started shaking as tears broke past her eyes. She knew the answer already; He was in her head, telling her. _He wrote it days ago, stupid girl. It doesn't mean anything. _"Kari, hey, hey, sh…" TK held her closer and stroked her hair. He was so warm, so strong; she trembled against him. "I meant every word. I mean every word." His hands moved to her shoulders, and he bent his knees to meet her eyes. She swallowed hard.

"S-So you won't l-lea-" She couldn't finish.

"No, I won't, so long as you want me here."

"I-I don't understand."

"I-I know, Kari. I don't even know how to apologize after everything I said. I shouldn't even be allowed look at you ever again, let alone…" His thumb brushed away a tear on her cheek. "I'm sorry," he whispered when she shivered, but the remorse in his clear blue eyes was for a lot more than the cold. "I'm so sorry." It was cold, though, and she shuddered as a gust of wind blew across the balcony. He frowned. "We should go inside, Hikari. You need meds; Joe gave you something to bring the swelling down a little while you were out, y-you remember...?" She nodded. "Your knees and the side of your face are bruised pretty badly, and the medicine will have worn off by now… a-and you really need to eat." She averted her eyes uncomfortably at the way he said that, almost pleadingly. He wasn't supposed to know. She made an excuse before he could ask.

"I've just been busy the past few days, TK. I don't like eating when I'm stressed."

"Could you not… pretend, Kari? At least for right now? I-I know it's bad. Matt said you haven't been taking medicine, either." She met his eyes again.

"Okay," she began, taking a step towards him and leaning into his chest again, hiding from the cold wind, "but do you think you could not pretend, too?" His arms wrapped around her back, and his face leaned into her hair.

"Sounds like a deal," he agreed, his warm breath tickling her scalp.

"Since we're not pretending," she began. "Could I ask you a question?"

"Of course you can," he answered, rubbing her back with his warm hand. She closed her eyes at the touch; it felt too good, like he was soothing an ache in her body she hadn't known was there. She wanted very badly to cry.

"Why…?" Too many questions swirled around in her head for her to pinpoint one, but he seemed to understand.

"B-Because I'm afraid of turning into Him, Kari," he said, his voice shaking a little. "Because you would do anything I asked, even if it tore your heart out, because you think I'm some kind of saint, which is ridiculous, and you don't have any sense of self-worth after everything he did to you. Because I love you, and I couldn't live knowing that I was just another one of the manipulative, abusive bastards who's taken advantage of you in the past few years, but I'm just a stupid seventeen-year-old boy, and I was so afraid of becoming Him, I became someone worse."

"But you're not, Takeru."

"I'm not?" he asked, pain strangling his voice. The ache in his voice was the kind that physically hurt to listen to; she felt tears well up in her eyes. "Maybe I haven't hit you, Kari, but you've been in just as much pain here as you were when you were with him… a-and you're still getting bruises," he added, and a warm hand touched her swollen cheek. She shook her head and swallowed her tears to speak.

"That isn't true, Takeru."

"There are some swollen marks on your hands that would say otherwise."

"I-I did that, TK."

"Why, though, Hikari? Because I hurt you so badly you couldn't take the pain anymore." Something broke in her chest, and words burst from her lips before she could stop them.

"Because I'm hurting so badly I can't take the pain anymore!" She pushed hard away from him so she could meet his eyes when she said it. Hot tears broke from her eyes. "N-Not because y-you did something or d-didn't do something. B-Because I feel horrible and guilty about everything right now. Because I've felt that way for the past three years, Takeru, it's just that before, I had him doing the punishment for me, a-and now there's not a person in my life who would so much as raise their voice at me, a-and I c-can't handle it!"

"Hikari…"

"This isn't about you versus Him, TK. You can't do anything to fix me for me. I wish it were that simple, a-and I wish that I were strong enough to just feel better, right now, s-so you wouldn't have to hurt the way you do, b-but I'm not." She took a shaky breath into her lungs, but it caught in her throat, and she bent over as the coughs wracked her body.

"I-I have hurt you, though," he began as he pulled her gently against him again, letting her cling to his chest for support. "Maybe not in all the ways I thought I did, but I still… I did things that were wrong, and I'm sorry." She slipped her arms around his waist and hugged him.

"I forgive you, a-and I'm sorry, too, f-for feeling like this." Her voice broke, and his arms tightened on her back.

"Don't be ridiculous," he whispered weakly, like she had hurt him, and there was a long pause. "Since we're not pretending, could I ask you a question?" She nodded into his chest silently. "If I can't help you get better, is it even worth it to you to have me around?" She started and twisted in his arms to look up at him. He didn't meet her eyes, and something warm and wet splashed on her cheek as she studied his face. He swallowed hard and rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry. J-Just a stupid boy playing at being a hero."

"Takeru," she began, but he turned his face even further from hers, hiding his pink eyes, "Takeru." She reached up, hand shaking (_He doesn't want you touching him._), and brushed his cheek with her fingertips. Even wet with tears, his jawline felt warm and sure under her cold, trembling fingers. He looked down at her obediently, and the torture in his eyes killed her. "D-Don't say that," she whispered, shaking her head frantically and leaning her into his shoulder. "I-I didn't-" she choked as tears flooded her throat.

"Don't cry, Kari; I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"Th-That's not what I was trying to say, Takeru. 'S not true. D-Don't think-" She started coughing again, and TK stiffened a little, worried.

"Kari, maybe we should get you inside." He leaned down and rubbed her back gently, but his voice was still so sad; his eyes looked tired and a little pink. He didn't believe her. Guilty frustration sank in her chest. She remembered what he had done earlier, when she hadn't believed him, and tears burned her eyes. _You can't do that. _"Y-You shouldn't even be walking around," he sighed, and the anguish that shone in his eyes broke something inside her. A new, desperate kind of emptiness opened in her chest, and she would do anything to take the pain from his eyes. How often did he torture himself with things like this? "A-And Joe should really take a look at your side again, to make sure-" _You can't._ But his eyes connected briefly with hers again as he spoke, and she took a gulp of cold air, fighting back the burning in her eyes, and pushed up on her toes, touching her lips to the side of his mouth as softly as she could manage through her shivering.

There was a moment when TK drew ever so slightly nearer, and the hands that rubbed her back moved a little towards her waist in a way that suggested he wanted to pull her closer, and then his whole body tensed. "H-Hikari," he murmured her name against her lips, and his eyes closed. "I-I told you not to pretend." He tilted his forehead into hers, breaking the kiss and letting her settle back on her heels, but he didn't pull away yet.

"I-I'm not pretending, Takeru." His eyes opened, and they had that horrible pain in them again, that horrible disbelief. "D-Don't look at me like that," her voice broke. "You have no idea h-how it feels, b-being with you. You have no idea how s-safe you make me feel, o-or how much that means, after living with him. You didn't wait t-to figure out what exactly was going on, y-you made me leave, th-the second you-" she choked on her tears, and he started to move, but she leaned into his jawline before he could pull too far away, desperate not to lose him, and the warm scent of his neck calmed her a little as it entered her lungs. "You were the f-first person to, to give me a hug i-in three years, Takeru. Y-You don't know what it feels like, b-being held a-after…" Her headache worsened suddenly, and her fingers tightened on his shirt when her head spun dangerously. "Y-You're the most heroic young man I've ever seen, i-including anyone in any stupid movie we've watched together." His arms wavered between holding her tighter and dropping away, like he was confused.

"A-A hero doesn't make the girl cry every time he opens his mouth." She laughed softly despite the tears on her face, and he tensed a little as her lips brushed his jaw.

"I j-just can't hide around you. I can pretend for everyone else, but I fall apart if you so much as look at me funny."

"You can still pretend for me," he corrected her, pain clear in his voice again. "I didn't know you weren't eating, a-and Matt said you haven't been sleeping, that you won't even try unless I'm over here making you feel bad about it." She closed her eyes.

"Matt didn't say that," she answered softly.

"Yes, he did, Hikari, and I know it's true."

"He said I hardly sleep unless you're here, maybe, or that I'm too scared to go to bed at all anymore, that I'm falling asleep with my head on the kitchen counter or sitting on the living room floor and still waking up with nightmares, but I don't go to bed when you're here because you make me feel guilty..." She swallowed hard. "I-I don't have the nightmares when I fall asleep next to you," she whispered against him, and TK's whole body stiffened, "a-and he knows that."

"Y-You really-?" She nodded. "None at all?"

"None that would bother me. None with Him or my dad o-or with something happening to you." His face moved towards hers, and he met her eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me that, pretty girl? I-I would've-" Her eyes burned at the sound of her nickname and the emotion in his voice.

"I-I knew you'd want to stay with me. I couldn't let you do that every night, TK. It was bad enough, w-watching those other girls with you, knowing that someday you wouldn't be there with me; I didn't want to get any closer, to have to lose any more than I already had to. I-I worked s-so hard not to believe any of the things Yolei told me, because I knew that I couldn't handle caring like that about you only to find out y-you didn't really… I-It's hard enough to hold myself together as it is." He tilted his face towards her, his blue eyes soft.

"So..."

"So?" A weak smile formed on her lips, and then he kissed her, sudden but soft, along the upward curve of her mouth. Tears burned her eyes.

"So what's going on?" he whispered against her lips, and she blushed at the thought that he had remembered that first conversation, too. She took a second too long to reply, and he added a soft, "I love you, pretty girl, and I want to be with you, in whatever way you need me to be," and she could tell he was trying hard not to sound disappointed. She shook her head.

"I-I love you, too, Takeru, b-" His lips connected suddenly, passionately with hers before she could finish, and she felt heat rush to her face. She didn't know how to do this. Tears sprung to her eyes at the thought, but a warm hand cupped the side of her face, pulling her chin up as he kissed her, and her knees weakened at the gentleness in his touch. She pulled away, though, one more time. TK made an almost irritated noise in the back of his throat before he saw her teary eyes

"I-It isn't going to go away, Takeru. I don't want you to think… I'm still going to be sad, maybe for a really long time. I'm still going to have trouble sleeping and eating, a-and I'm still going to want to hurt myself. Even if I feel better, that stuff is still going to be there for years. You won't be able to fix me o-or to make it all go away every time. You'll only be able to hold my hand until it eases up." He smiled gently, and his brilliant blue eyes shone a little brighter.

"I like holding your hand," he said, and his warm fingers found her cold ones and wove them together. "It'll help you, though, if I'm there?"

"I-It always helps," she whispered, and he leaned in quietly, slowly this time, to press his lips into hers, but her headach worsened and her vision spun suddenly, throwing her off balance and forcing her to cling to his shirt to keep her knees from giving out, and TK pressed back into her fervently, his lips moving deeper and surer with hers and forcing her to respond. _He doesn't really- He's kissing me,_ she told the voice, and he was, and it was gone.

"I love you," he breathed against her lips, "I love you so much."

Vaguely, she felt her back crash into the railing behind her ("I'm sor-" he managed before she could wrap her arms around his neck and pull his lips back into hers, and he fell silent.), but there was no pain, only his heat and his strength and his rough breath on her skin. His lips moved to her neck, and her shirt slid up, his warm, gentle hands rubbing the skin of waist as he kissed her. Her breathing came fast and uneven, and she was unsure if it was a side-effect of her cold or of his overwhelming, knee-weakening, toe-curling presence against her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his soft blonde hair as his lips explored her throat. She kissed his temple gently, and he moaned into her skin.

"I love you," she breathed, and suddenly his mouth was back against hers, moving with wanting and needing and finally-fulfilled-dreaming. His arms tightened around her body, pulling her to him, and his watch beeped.

He jumped, like the noise had woken him from a dream, like the first time he had realized he was kissing her. Their breathing was still rough and uneven, and his hands were still on her hips under her shirt. Heat rushed to her face. He leaned his forehead down into hers, his thumbs rubbing her waist, and his old, goofy smile tugged at the corner of his lips, his wonderful blue eyes brighter than she'd ever seen them, and she found herself smiling back, her heart lighter than she'd ever felt it, before or after Him. "'S midnight," he whispered. "Happy Birthday, beautiful girl."

* * *

_"And I fell asleep._  
_But I could dream that I was anything._  
_And we brought ourselves to this place and turned and walked away to find a life that's so much more…_  
_Won't you open up your eyes._  
_Through your window you'll see._  
_The sun is shining bright and I promise there's a world out there."_

* * *

_I can't even believe I'm about to post this. I hope you guys liked it. I'll try to post a summary of my next story on my profile in the next few days. Thank you so much to everyone who's been reading and sending me their thoughts in Reviews and PMs for such a long time; it means so much to me!_

_Like I've said in earlier posts, I have some more Bonus-Epilogue-Chapters that I'll try to post sometime for anyone who's interested._


	31. Tai: An Epilogue

_So I lost the original draft for this chapter, and then I found it, and then I kept editing and re-editing the ending over and over again, but I know a fair number of people really wanted to know what happened, so I'm just putting it up now. I hope you guys like it!_

_Oh, quick warning: maybe a teensy hint at a little Taiora at the end, but it could just as easily be friendship as romance, and I'm not sure which it is, so no big deal._

* * *

**Tai: An Epilogue**

* * *

"I forgot my key, could you…" TK smiled and leaned against the apartment door, close to the small brunette. Kari looked up at him and smiled a little, her pretty chocolate eyes amused. "Are you gonna let me in?" He shrugged and took a step closer to her.

"It's nice out here." He angled himself carefully so that she was trapped between his body and the door. Her eyes broke from his, studying the ground as her face flushed, still too shy to keep eye contact for very long. He leaned his face down near hers, forcing her to look at him again. "And I'm not supposed to kiss you in there."

He and Matt had implemented the rule not long after her birthday, following a long, uncomfortable conversation about creating a sense of boundaries and also not risking adding premarital pregnancy to the long list of crap in Hikari's life. Moreover, as Matt had so nicely phrased it: "I don't want to come home to you two making out on my couch." Unless someone else was home, contact was limited to hugging and hand-holding as necessitated by Kari's lingering depression. There were no such regulations applying to doorways, however.

Gently, he pressed his lips to the corner of her mouth and smiled as another rush of heat showed in her face. She was still too shy; it made him want to kiss her more. "Did I tell you how adorable you look today, pretty girl?" More heat, but she kissed him back when he pressed his lips to hers this time, softly, quietly. He tilted her chin up gently with his hand and kissed her mouth before running his lips along her jaw. She giggled softly.

"That tickles," she smiled, and he kissed the upwards curve of her lips. His hands moved to her hips and he took a step closer, tracing the top hem of her jeans with his thumbs. She felt soft and warm and small under his hands.

"I like it when you smile," he whispered, kissing her jawline again, and she giggled as he touched her waist.

"Stop it," she blushed, "that tickles." Another kiss, deeper this time, more serious.

"Matt's neighbors," she began, but he covered her lips with his own, and her words were lost in the kiss.

"…are all jealous of me," he finished for her, and continued the kiss, moving his hands up her waist, drawing her small form against him as hunger pulled deep in his body. Her scent filled his lungs, and her lips tasted soft and sweet as they moved in rhythm with his own. Cool fingers brushed his jaw, and he sighed.

Her phone rang.

He frowned fake-moodily when she pulled away, and his hands remained on the soft curve of her waist, refusing to let her escape. "Tell Davis to find himself his own girlfriend." He moved his lips to her jaw again and followed the curve to her ear.

"It's probably just Yolei," she said, a little breathless. He liked that.

"Then why do you need to…" His lips brushed her earlobe, and he trailed off, suddenly very distracted.

"People don't call my phone unless it's pretty important," she explained, and he grinned at the brilliant red in her cheeks. He glanced over and down at her phone.

"That's not her number, or Davis'." He tried to press his lips to hers again, but she turned her face as she brought the phone to her ear.

"It could be Willis." TK grunted at the name and stole one more kiss before she could speak into the receiver. She blushed furiously and stumbled over her words. He smiled. _Adorable._

"H-Hello?"

He moved his lips to her neck and pulled her closer again as he planted soft kisses below her jaw. "Tell him you're busy kissing your very handsome, very strong, very overprotective boyfriend," he whispered against her throat. She finally shoved him away with her shoulder, but there was still a smile on her face.

"Y-Yes, to whom am I speaking?" she tried not to laugh and then paused and frowned. "Who?" She pushed away TK's left hand, still lingering on her waist, and took a step away, her face paling.

"Who is it, pretty girl?"

"No. I mean, I'm not staying there anymore." He frowned. "I'm at Matt's… I-It's complicated." Her voice was shrinking with each word, growing softer at every syllable. Possibilities bombarded his mind as anxiety built in his chest. "Mhm. Like 6:30? Yeah… Y-Yeah, hold on." She looked over at him for the first time, her eyes scared and shadowy. "Wh-What's the address for the apartment?"

"Hikari, who is that?" Her eyes welled up with tears, and he took a step towards her. "Who's on the phone?" She shook her head weakly.

"Please, TK." He fed her the address hesitantly and listened to her repeat it back into the receiver and whisper a soft "goodbye." She blinked frantically and turned back to the door, avoiding his eyes completely. "W-Would you get the door, please?"

"Kari, who was that?"

"P-Please, Takeru." A tear broke from her eye, and he gave in, jamming his key in the lock and opening the door. She walked in ahead of him and, hand trembling, set her cell phone on the coffee table.

"Hikari, pretty girl…" She sat on the couch and closed her eyes. He followed her, taking the space beside her. He touched her shoulder gently.

"W-Would you mind… w-would you mind j-just kissing me? I-I know we're not supposed to, I-I just, I-I don't w-want to think right now. P-Please?" Her voice had that fear to it, like she was asking him for something awful, like he would find the act of kissing her repulsive. Pain rang in his chest. She wasn't supposed to talk like that anymore.

"Kari, we need to talk about this."

"I-I know, I know. I-I just need a minute, please?" Her voice broke on the please this time; that was all it took with her.

It moved very fast. He was kissing her, their movements laced with pain and fear, and then her pink cardigan was off, his hands on the curves of her hips below her thin tank top, the pain gone, and then he was on top of her, his lips buried in her neck, the fear dissipated.

"W-We need to stop, Hikari," he managed when he knew he was getting too close to not being able to stop, his breathing hard and rough against her skin, and he tried to be gentle, but she fell to pieces immediately as his lips fell away. Her body shook, and tears poured from her eyes, sobs tearing from her throat. "Sh, sh, pretty girl," he murmured, moving off of her so that he could sit up and pull her into his lap. "Sh, it'll be okay; who was it?" His heart still pounded from kissing her, but reality came down hard, and any pleasure was gone with her tears. He picked her sweater up off the floor and laid it over her shoulders.

"I-It w-was Tai," she cried weakly, burying herself against him. Anger flared in his chest.

"Why the hell would he be calling? How did he even find your number?" She winced when he swore, like he was yelling at her.

"H-He came home, f-for gr-graduation. H-He went over t-to the apartment; m-my number was in the kitchen."

"What?" She pressed into him, and he tightened his hold on her body, pulling her into his chest protectively. "Please, Kari, if he honestly thinks- That's just total crap. He isn't going to barge in on your life again a week before you graduate."

"He-"

"I don't care what he said to you, Kari! You don't have to see him, or even talk to him, again if you don't want to, all right? Matt and I'll take care of it."

"Y-Yes I-I do."

"No, pretty girl, I'm pretty sure you don't," he snapped sarcastically.

"I-I have t-to- He's coming over f-for dinner."

"Well then I'll call him back and tell him to get lost, okay?" She shook her head against him. "Yeah, and why not?" She choked back tears to speak.

"H-He's my br-brother, 'Keru."

"He hasn't been much of a brother the past few years," he retorted, but he already knew what she would say.

"H-He's the only f-family…" she whispered, and he fell silent for a moment.

"You have Matt."

"B-But…"

"I know…" he murmured, but he couldn't help himself, "you know, even if I can contain myself, Matt's going to murder him."

"Takeru…"

"Listen, I don't want you to be scared about this, okay? We're gonna give it a try, but if you feel so much as a little uneasy while he's here, he's gone. Just like that. We'll call Matt, so he can get home early to help with dinner, and then we'll put on a movie, and when he gets here, I'll be with you the whole time, all right?" He stared into her teary brown eyes intensely, waiting for a response. She hugged him and pressed her face into his neck.

"I-I love you," she whispered, her tears still wet on his skin.

"I love you, too."

* * *

A knock sounded at the door, and Kari stiffened against his side. "Deep breaths, pretty girl," he whispered, placing an arm around her waist. Her small fingers found his hand and wove the two together as they waited. "I'm right here," he added softly when her breathing started to quicken nervously, squeezing her hand tightly in his.

They watched as Matt checked the peephole and then, swallowing hard, opened the door. Her brother was taller and more muscular than TK had remembered, and his hair was shorter, though still just as messy. His eyes were darker, too, the same way Kari's had been just a few months prior, distant. The dim eyes moved from Matt to TK to Kari, then stopped.

"Hey, Kar." TK could feel her shaking slightly in his arms. He squeezed her hand again.

"Hi." Silence hung in the air for a few moments.

"Do I at least get a hug?" TK tightened his hand on her hip, but she pulled away and walked across the room to her brother. Matt moved hesitantly from between the two of them, and they watched the small brunette's shoulders stiffen slightly as Tai's arms moved to wrap around her. He caught Matt's eye and saw the same resentment he knew was showing in his own face. He hadn't seen her do that in a long time, almost two months, stiffen at someone's touch as though anticipating injury. "Are you guys gonna tell me what's going on, then?" TK was too busy fighting back the words he very much wanted to yell at her brother to answer him.

"I-It's complicated," Kari managed softly. TK took the few steps forward necessary to take her hand in his again. "Matt's letting me stay here with him instead of with…"

"You mean stay with Blondie here instead of at home." Kari frowned up at her older brother.

"I didn't leave because of-"

"Yeah, well it's certainly what's going on in Takaishi's head." TK held back his impulse to glare at the boy.

"Don't interrupt her, all right?" he said instead, trying not to betray his anger, but his hand tightened on Kari's beyond his control.

"Certainly polite, that works on all the girls, right Takaishi? This is convenient, though, isn't it? You can be with my sister here and then go home and have another girl at your own apartment."

"You want to say that again, Tai?" Matt snapped suddenly. "You think that I would let that happen? That my brother would do something like that?"

"It wouldn't be the first time. You know I tried to come home once before? I stopped to pick Blondie up only to find him with his hands all over some ditzy blonde in the back of his school's gymnasium, and the best part was that he'd been out with not one, but two other girls that week, and it was only Friday afternoon." Familiar self-disgust flooded TK's chest, and his hold weakened a bit on Kari's hand, but she leaned into him, letting her hair brush the skin of his upper arm.

"TK told me about those girls, Tai. I already know."

"I'm sure he did. I'm sure he's got a wonderfully eloquent answer for the whole thing, but it still seems awfully convenient to keep a girl with low self-esteem at his brother's house, don't you think?"

"Y-You sound like…" TK could hear the pain in her voice, and he tried to pull her behind him.

"He told you, didn't He? He told you that Takaishi's just using you and you're too arrogant to realize that He's right about everything!" _Everything,_ TK's jaw tightened as rage rushed through his chest. He opened his mouth to say something, but Kari burst into tears, and her hand pulled away from his as she hurried from the room. The rage broke free from his carefully sequestered emotions.

A pair of cracks split the room, and Tai landed on the floor. A pair. TK glanced up to find Matt on Tai's other side.

"A black eye, I think," he said.

"Bruised jaw," TK answered, "broken, if we're lucky." Matt's eyes remained on Tai, on the floor, holding his jaw.

"I think we're going to have a little talk about hurting other people's feelings. Take care of Hikari," he added seriously, glancing over at his brother, as though he might have forgotten the sound of her sobs as she rushed from the living room. "The balcony."

* * *

"Hey there, beautiful girl," he murmured as he opened door. She sat with her back against the rails, her knees drawn up to her chest, and her hands balled into fists. His chest ached as her cries reached him and her knuckles turned white. "I think we've talked about this before," he whispered as he settled onto his knees in front of her and took her hands in his own, slipped his fingers between her nails and her palms; her hands relaxed immediately, refusing to injure him, "but if you want to hurt anyone, you're welcome to hurt me." She choked on a sob.

"I-It doesn't work that way, 'Keru. I-It doesn't help unless it hurts." Tears burned his eyes, but he kept his voice steady.

"I know; I'm sorry." His eyes were drawn automatically to her scarred wrist for a second, to the most recent reminder of Him. Guilt pulled in his chest, though he knew she wouldn't like that it did. "Do you want…" She tugged weakly on his hand, and he took that as a yes. Quietly, he moved into the space beside her, wrapped her in his arms, and pulled her into his lap. Her tears worsened considerably as he did so. "Sh, sh, pretty girl. Tell me what you're thinking about," he whispered in her ear, finding her hands again and weaving her fingers together with his protectively.

"I-I'm thinking that he's right," she choked into his shoulder. "N-Not about y-you, b-but… a-about Him b-being right."

"You know I think that's ridiculous, beautiful girl." He held her closer and shut his eyes briefly when his voice wavered a bit. "And you have no idea how angry I am right now. I-I just want to go back in there a-and," he squeezed his eyes closed, trying to ease the fury in his veins, but it didn't work when she was lying trembling in his lap. "He damn well better have a broken jaw."

"Y-You didn't," she cried, panicked. He clenched and unclenched his teeth.

"I swear, Kari, you would defend anybody." He sighed when she stiffened. "I'm sorry, but Matt hit him, too." She cried harder against him, and he rushed to justify the anger. "He had it coming; it's not fair that you'd have to go through this again. What do you think He's right about?" he added gently.

"A-About e-everything, 'Keru. I-I j-just… I-I feel s-so horrible, about everything. A-About what I do, wh-what I do to you, and j-just m-me."

"You feel bad about making me fall madly in love every time I see you?" he smiled gently. A small sob escaped her throat in response.

"I feel bad that the girl you fell in love with falls apart all the time."

"I know how hard you work to feel better, Kari. You don't need to feel bad about anything. I don't feel bad about falling in love with you." She squeezed his hands tightly, and he held her closer.

"I feel bad that I w-want to hurt myself, a-and I feel bad if I-I don't want to hurt myself, th-that I c-could live with how h-horrible I am," she whispered.

"You're not horrible," he answered simply, his voice too weak to get above a whisper, and she choked on fresh tears.

"I-I feel bad about the sc-scars; I-I know that y-you-" A sharp pang rung in his chest.

"Hikari," he breathed. "How could you feel bad about…?" _You must've done something._

"They b-bother you. Y-You… I-I c-could try to use m-make-up i-if-"

"No. No, no, no. Pretty girl…" He leaned his forehead down against hers and paused for a moment before beginning, slowly. "It will always bother me, that that happened to you, that someone could hurt you like that, but I don't… The scars aren't what hurt, it's what happened to you that does, but we can't erase that, and we shouldn't try to. It happened. It shouldn't have, but it did. The scars are just reminders that you made it through – that the cuts and bruises are over and that you can have time to heal, that you have healed so much over the past few months. A-And you're beautiful, if that what you're worried about. The scars aren't imperfections; they're reminders that you're a miracle. If I've done or said anything that made you think otherwise, I'm sorry, but it isn't true." He could tell that she was trying to hold back her tears, squeezing her eyes shut and taking deep, labored breaths. "You're allowed to-" She burst into tears before he could finish, releasing too much emotion and burying herself against him for a long time, until her breathing eased. He pressed his nose into her hair as she sobbed, letting the scent calm him, and closed his eyes.

"Y-You're too wonderful," she whispered, shaking her head against him, her voice still teary. He kissed her forehead softly and rolled his eyes.

"You're too wonderful." A tentative knock sounded at the door; Tai stood nervously in the doorway. His brown eyes met TK's blue ones. The anger rushed back.

"Hey, I was wondering if I could try to apologize to you," he said, voice low, shifting an ice pack on his swollen jaw.

"I'm really not the one you need to apologize to," TK answered, jaw tightening, arms drawing around the girl in his arms.

"Yeah, but you're not going to let me anywhere near her right now, are you?"

"Has it crossed your mind that I might just tell you to go to hell right now and be done with it?"

"'Keru," Kari whispered.

"I deserve it, Kar," Tai answered, shaking his head, but TK glared at him.

"Don't talk to her." Tai's eyes returned to his, and he nodded submissively.

"TK, go." He looked down at the girl in his lap, met those awful chocolate eyes. _Her hands, though… _He rubbed her fingers with his thumb and looked at her questioningly. She understood. "I won't. I'll be fine, really, Takeru." She sat up to touch her lips to his as proof, but he tightened arms around her waist when she did, pulling her into him. He could feel the heat in her face, but he still kissed her, hard, for a few long moments, trying fit in all of the emotion he had built up in his chest. He hoped it drove her brother crazy.

"I love you," he told her firmly, his eyes fixed on hers. She blushed brilliantly but still leaned into him, resting the bridge of her nose on his jaw, and whispered back a quiet "Iloveyou." "We'll go into the hall, okay? So if you feel cold, or you start to feel sad again, you can go inside and sit with Matt." She nodded, and he let her move off of his lap, squeezing her hand briefly before he let go.

**(A/N: There should be a break here, the editor is being spazzy.)**

* * *

They stepped into the short hall adjacent to the kitchen. Tai leaned back into the grey wall, and TK stood across from him. He was taller than Tai now, by a several inches.

"I didn't know what I was saying," Tai began, his voice quieter than TK had ever heard it. He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, well maybe you would have if you had bothered to visit now and again." Tai kept going, as if he hadn't heard him.

"I only knew what I had seen a couple of years ago, and I was angry, but I shouldn't have said anything until I knew what was going on. And I should have been thanking you, for what you did."

"It isn't like you didn't have excuses; I mean, most people do show up for their own mother's funeral."

"I'm sorry." Tai answered, voice still low, but TK could see the tears in his eyes. Still, he didn't stop.

"You're apparently capable of locating a phone number. You could have called. You know, checked in, made sure that the stepfather you'd never met wasn't beating her half to death every night." He had gone too far, but he didn't care; he'd wanted Tai to snap.

"You think I'm not killing myself over this?" he yelled suddenly. "You think you're the only one who loves her? She's my little sister! You think you're the only one who's angry about what happened? I want to kill that idiot right now! B-But I-I was just trying to do what she wanted! I-I didn't think she'd want to see me after what happened." The brown-eyed boy's voice broke, and a single tear rolled down his face. TK furrowed his brow.

"After what happened?" he snapped.

"After our dad…" TK's jaw tightened again, and he shoved the brunette roughly into the wall.

"Why the hell wouldn't she want to see you? Why the hell wouldn't she want her brother to be there for her after her father died?" Tai answered him too calmly, tears still shining in his chocolate eyes. They looked too much like Kari's, and TK's fist clenched.

"She didn't tell you about that night?"

"Of course she did. It was raining; the roads were bad, but the only thing she's told me about you is that she misses her brother, terribly. At two in the morning, after waking up from some awful nightmare, crying her heart out. She wants her brother." TK ran a hand through his hair as desperation crept into his voice. The pain in Tai's eyes tripled.

"I was driving the car."

"The…"

"In our dad's accident. It was raining, and I lost control of the car." TK blinked as his heart dropped. _No. No, no, no._

"She… Did Matt know that?"

"No."

"A-And that's why you…" Tai was silent, and TK hit him in the shoulder, hard. "That's what this is about?" he shouted.

"Jeez," Tai answered, holding his shoulder.

"Have you even met your sister? You-" Words failed him, and he shoved the brunette back into the wall again. "She can't even get that upset with-"

"She gets angry, Takaishi."

"Not now; not about… And she's just going to eat that up!" TK pushed him again, harder. "She won't even have to think about forgiving you, you idiot! Damn it!" He hit the wall this time.

"Are you guys all right?" Matt said as he appeared from around the corner. TK tore past him. "TK!"

"Tell him to talk to his sister," he snapped bitterly. "Stay in the room with them in case he says anything else stupid. Don't look happy about this!" he added when he saw the relief on Tai's face. "You're an idiot, and I'm going to have to listen to her talk about you like you're a martyr."

"TK, where're you going?"

"To get the cheese we're missing for dinner. Kari needs to eat sometime today."

* * *

Despite his lingering anger, Matt couldn't help but smirk at the competition between Hikari's brother and his own. He didn't often see Takeru this thrown by another guy's presence, and the result was amusing.

Tai and Hikari sat across from each other at the counter, just talking over old sibling-related memories and jokes, but TK watched the brunette like a hawk, as though the boy could suddenly break out into cruel insults at any moment. He became almost aggressively affectionate, stealing glances and touches and kisses with Kari at every possible moment. Thankfully, Tai was smart enough to let the behavior go for that night, patiently and silently enduring each pause in conversation as TK snuck up behind Kari and whispered something blush-worthy in her ear.

Finally, at nearly seven thirty, dinner was on the table and ready to be served, and Matt had his own revenge to be had.

"Great, where should I sit?" Tai asked brightly.

"You're not eating here," Matt answered calmly.

A pair of "What?"s and one inappropriately cheerful "Really?" chorused from around the room.

"And you're not staying here tonight." TK was trying to hide his smile, but not very hard.

"Wh-"

"You have someone else to talk to. Here," Matt handed the boy a slip of paper. "I've been told you can comprehend addresses. It's Sora's. Try not to screw it up as badly as you did this." Tai opened his mouth, but Matt cut him off again, his voice hard. "She was a mess after you left; you're not coming back until you talk to her." Tai's eyes turned from annoyed to very, very serious.

"Thank you, Matt," he answered softly. Matt ignored the pull of emotion in his chest and rolled his eyes at the boy. _TK was right_, he thought, _he is kind of an idiot._

"Yeah, go."

* * *

_So I hope that satisfied some of the questions you guys had! I'm sorry that it took me so long to get it up, but I really wanted to do this one first, in case I don't get to the others, and I've been busy updating my new story. Thanks to anybody who was interested enough in the story to read this! And Happy Easter!_


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